I am 31 and DH is 53 (22 year age difference). We have a 3.5 yo DS and an 18 mo DD. Neither of us have been married before, and he had no plans to marry before I came along.
I fit into many of the other patterns... DH is financially ahead in his career so it is easy for me to be a SAHM. I am not sure what my next career will be (I have no interest in returning to the career I had before staying home) but I want it to produce enough income so that DH can cut back his work hours as the kids get older and involved in sports, etc. We both have a good amount saved for retirement, but neither of us have a desire for the retiree lifestyle.
Discipline/Parenting: I am the Enforcer in our house (as in, you can't eat cereal for every meal, you will need to go to bed before midnight, etc. we try to do Gentle Discipline) , DH is the ol' softy. This seems to be personality based. I am also the long-term planner and critical thinker when it comes to parenting--I research the options and read the books. DH seems to agree with what I explain to him; he is more on board with some things than others (He washes the cloth diapers and likes that we don't punish or control the kids, but doesn't care so much about nutrition or how much TV they watch
Socializing: We haven't had a problem here. I have always had older friends (one of my closest girlfriends is 12 years older) and we just treat everyone like they are the same age. We do volunteer work together and meet nice people of all ages. We also do quite a bit of socializing separately as I tend to need to get out with my friends more than he does, he is more introverted than I am. I will add that young adults sometimes act strange around us... I have a sis who was in her early 20's when she met my DH and it was a loooong time before she would really talk to him. Of course, part of that is due to her um... personality
Family: DH is one of 7 kids who all had children at different times, so I have a niece who is a couple years younger than me AND a nephew who is 1 year older than my DS. On my side, my mother and stepfather have a 'second family'... my half-brother and I are 21 years apart, so he became an uncle when he was 7. The generations are so spread out, there weren't clear lines between each one before, so I think it is less disruptive that DH and I are together (although there were some concerns raised when we got together, mostly by my mother who is 2 years older than DH
Mortality: I thought much more about him being older when we were dating and realized that we wanted to marry and have a family, it was a big anxious issue, but actually it was much more stressful for him than for me. I don't think about it anymore, except occasionally when cultural references come up, nor am I anxious at all about it anymore. I am very happy with our decision to have a family together. He likes to talk about himself as being 'old and tired', but like other PPs, he has a high energy level and likes to be very active. He rides his bike 8 miles to work almost every day and runs on the weekend. He also needs less sleep that I do to function. I often end up feeling like the non-productive partner because he can do so much (I need sleep and down time.) He does have some aches and pains; I worry about him developing arthritis, which runs in his family, and I wish he would get more sleep.
Thanks for starting this thread; I don't know any other couples with such a large age difference who have young families, so it is nice to know we are not the only ones!