Dads 50 ish and up? - Page 3

[miasmommy]

Thank you all for your thoughtful posts. I am really enjoying our conversations!

Karaboo, you didn't upset me. My husband is away this week so I am a little more sensitive to this "being alone" stuff, that's all. Plus as I said my husband is much older- yes, he is really healthy ( did I mention he is away skiing black diamonds the Alps? ) but its just a fear that seems to arise more when he is away and allowing me to "talk" about with you nice ladies actually makes me feel better, KWIM?

[mamabeca]

Ditto on the thoughts of mortality here. Dh here isn't a great one for taking care of himself - spent several years as a young man in a motorcycle gang, and all the drugs and etc. that went with THAT little world! And a lot of years just generally eating/drinking/smoking whatever it was that came his way, pleased his palette (sp?). Anyway, he's someone who has never slowed down for life, and still doesn't, but I do see him slowing down compared to 10 yrs ago. It's much more obvious than, say, seeing friends my own age and their power today vs. 10 yrs ago. I am not sad, I know he has loads of years left, but I feel for him, for my 3yo, and for me (who has to pick up the slack lol!). He's a wonderful daddy, a great coach, and more of a husband than I could ever have expected. My wishes have come true, and it doesn't make a bit of difference that he's born when he was born etc. We are happy, and for us, that is all that matters.

[Nathan1097]

I dunno if this counts, but my boyfriend is 48 and I'm 36. His youngest is graduating from high school in June and my youngest is in first grade. So we are in different stages as far as that is concerned. The kids ask how old C is... In fact, last night I was talking with him on the phone when I heard him arguing (sort of) with his daughter ... something about "Just because I'm 48 doesn't mean I can't remember your rehearsal time. I keep a good job.... " and various other things. He does seem concerned about retirement and money and such, even though that is years away. And yet... by the time I'm his age, he will be getting ready to retire!

[ZoshaMosha]

Wow! All the age-gappers! Who knew?

I'm 29 and DH is 48. We have a 2 yo and one on the way. Here in Hollywood, CA, it seems the norm for people HIS age to be having their firsts. Almost all the parents I know through DD's preschool are mid-30's through mid 40's.

NO ONE my age is having kids here--and it's not like I'm young! I had DD when I was 26, which, in my neighborhood is practically unheard of. Isn't that funny?

[barose]

Originally Posted by TeresaZofia

NO ONE my age is having kids here--and it's not like I'm young! I had DD when I was 26, which, in my neighborhood is practically unheard of. Isn't that funny?

Its like that where I live too. It seems like women are not having their first until they are 35+. That wouldnt work for me given my fertility issues.

[ElliesMomma]

Originally Posted by TeresaZofia

I'm 29 and DH is 48. We have a 2 yo and one on the way. Here in Hollywood, CA, it seems the norm for people HIS age to be having their firsts. Almost all the parents I know through DD's preschool are mid-30's through mid 40's.

this brings up a couple of conversations i had with my the wife of my husband's son (who's 30). she's a nice girl, but made a couple of comments to me that:

1) "you're not old, but you are older to be having a child". (nobody wants to hear somebody younger telling them they're old!)

and

2) "all the women in my neighborhood are in their 30's, there's no one my age who lives around us." (they rent in an expensive community.) she also said she tries to get along with them, but it never seems to "catch". (well maybe because you point out to people that you think they're "old".)

i try to give her the benefit of the doubt because she is my step-daughter-in-law, but i have to admit it was a little off-putting. DH's son has never said anything of the sort to me, i like him a lot.

[Shirada]

I'm 29 and DH is 48. We have a 2 yo and one on the way. Here in Hollywood, CA, it seems the norm for people HIS age to be having their firsts. Almost all the parents I know through DD's preschool are mid-30's through mid 40's.

It seems that way where I live too! I have always been one of the youngest in playgroups with my kids and 37 is not young. Dads seems to be late 30's early 40's having kids here, so my DH was a little on the older side, (our oldest is 7 and DH is almost 56). It's cool because we don't feel like freaks, (not that that would matter so much), and it is nice to have similarities with friends.

[miasmommy]

California sounds good to me!

[dflanag2]

In our play group, I am the youngest mama, and DH is the oldest dad...

-dflanag2

[dready_betty]

I like this thread, too! I'm 23 and DP is 37, so 14 years difference. We don't have kids yet but we're both chomping at the bit to have them! (We're waiting a couple more years for career/financial reasons). I think our reasons for being anxious to have kids might a little different though...I'm just ready to be a mama, and while he's ready to be a papa, I think he's worried about being "too old" when the time comes (!). A lot of his friends are younger and have already had their kids. For example, the other day I was talking about how I'd be done with grad school in two years, and he said "you have to get pregnant by then, because I'll be almost 40."

I can't wait to tell him about this thread and what great company we're in, maybe that will ease his mind a bit =)

[barose]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

California sounds good to me!

I don’t think the same way. Living here is isolating and expensive. I cant wait until we move out of state (which wont be for another year or so).

[sostinkinhappy]

So glad to have found this thread!

Mr. Amazing Man will be 48 soon and I am 35. I have one son from a previous marriage (to a guy my age - blech!) and we have one 3-year old son together. We are hoping to add to the family soon. He is like many of the other dads described here - young at heart and young looking. His job requires that he be intensely physically active, which helps with keeping him young. Most of the guys he works with are about his same age and most of them have young kids like he does too.

It's kind of weird though - his little brother just became a grandpa last year and here we are, planning on having a couple more.

[Nicole B]

Hi!
Just giving a chime in from a child's perspective
My mother was 30 and my father was 60 when I was born:

My mother and her 2 children had just come out of a very abusive relationship with her first husband (alcoholic and a mean one at that) and my father who had always wanted kids finally left a marriage from a woman who was able but not willing to give him that...

They somehow found each other, fell in love and I came along followed by my brother 2 1/2 yrs later

It was wonderful how much time our father could spend with us being that he was older and the only annoying part (at least to him) was that whenever we went out everyone assumed that my mother must be his daughter and us his grandkids

The only thing I would ever want to change was that I wish I had more time with him: He died of cancer when I was 8yrs old (but really that had nothing to do with his age, he could have been 40 and had the same thing happen...

[miasmommy]

NicoleB- thanks for sharing your perspective. Yes, illness & death during my DD's childhood are my biggest fears. I am happy you have so many nice memories of your Dad. My husband, thank Goodness, is in amazing shape & has great genes so I am praying for as much time as we can have.

Congrats on your baby on the way


Waving hello to everyone else!

Barose, I actually like living in New England... it's just right now I could go for some springtime weather, we've had quite a winter here-:

[Juliacat]

My dad was 50 when I was born. He died 2 years ago. He lived to see me graduate from high school and college and get married, and would have lived to see his granddaughter if we'd been able to time our visits better.

Plus, I had fun growing up with my niece and nephew, and my daughter is having fun growing up with my nephew's daughter.

[SimpleJoys]

My DH is 52, but he is a year younger than me! His last wife was 10 yrs younger than him and they didn't make it but have a 13 yr old together. Even though I am a year older, he calls me his trophy wife because I am the most wonderful wife ever. He also calls me his wife for life. I have grandchildren and grown children so it seems strange to be helping to raise DSS. Also child rearing thinking has changed a lot since my kids were young. So even though we are basically the same age, it seems sometimes he is from a different generation.

[iriaS]

My DH is 49, he's turning 50 in April. We're not having any trouble here really, DH will surely be the oldest dad when the twins get in school, and we're TTC here.
He does look his age, but he's so sexy He's in excelent shape as he practices martial arts(free style nunchaku) and capoeira and taekwondo, he runs everyday(we actually run together so i'm also fit). He's very healthy.
In the friends issue, his friends are all my friends, and i have other friends of my own to, i'm usually the "baby" of the group.

My dad was 42 when i was born, i was his third child of his third and last marriage, then my sister came along in '86, then my twins siblings in '88, he was 50, he's 70 now and healthy as he can be, sometimes i feel heh as more envery than i do. My mum is 47. I have two older brothers one is 47(ha my mum's age) and my other brother 36.
So my mum was the "trophy wife" and i guess i'm the same lol, my younger sister had a baby in 2005, her DH is 10 year older, and my brother(my youngest) says that he plans to marry when he's 40 just like dad lol. my older brother has two kids, DD1 is the oldest grandchild. So i can say age gaps are in my family.

[barose]

Hi NicoleB - thanks for sharing your experience.

If we dont have children by the time DP is 55, it wont happen. He's 50 1/2 now so we dont have much time (considering how long it takes for rme to get pregnant. I always wanted two kids, but will be lucky if we will have one.

[Mrs_Lurker]

Hope I can join this thread, it's a good one!

IRL, I haven't met anyone quite like us. We've been married nearly three years, together for nearly six. I'm 31, DH is 56. From a previous marriage, he has three adult children, ages 36, 26, and 25, and now an 11 month old daughter. His 36-year-old son has two daughters, aged 7 & 5. I became a stepgrandmother before I became a mama

The one comment I am so tired of hearing is, "aren't you afraid he'll die & leave you all alone with young children to raise?" Honestly, I am not any more afraid of that than anyone else. Do they know something I don't?

The comment I enjoy hearing the most is: "He's old enough to be your father." Indeed. My mom is a year younger than him. I think the important thing to remember here is that he's NOT my father.

DH does have a rare, chronic illness, and high blood pressure sometimes (it's not constant, and it's been improving lately). And he works in social services, so he doesn't have any money, either.

We have such a good relationship (ok, most of the time), and he's a good father to our little. He says that this time, he's enjoyed it more, because he thinks he missed out with his older children, being worried about providing for them, getting an education himself, etc.

I do wish we knew others in our situation, so I'm just loving this thread!!!

[Mrs_Lurker]

Originally Posted by miasmommy

I always was attracted to older men so I think I always knew I would marry one. It's not a "father thing"- its that I've always been sort of an "old soul". My mother used to call me a "little old lady" even when I was little.

I get this comment alot, too.

For me, I always knew too. It wasn't a father thing for me, either. I was raised by my mom & my grandparents, and we spent a lot of time with my grandfather's brother & five sisters, so growing up, I spent the most time with people in their 50s and 60s, so it just seemed natural to me. DH's grandparents had the same age difference that we do (25), so he never thought much about it, either.