Originally Posted by TeresaZofia
I wish my dh would have those fears. He's 49 and in really bad shape. Since we got married 5 years ago, he's probably put on 70 lbs and has aged 10 years. He's always stressed out from work, drinks too much, smokes, eats not the best food, never exercises. On weekends he is too tired to play with dd and really only hangs out with her while they watch tv. I know he loves her (and our baby on the way) but I wish he would realize that he's really getting older and doesn't have the energy he needs to keep up with a young wife and two small kids.
My DH is the same way. Honestly, it's a real miracle that he's still alive. Really. He's nearly 60, with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, poorly controlled diabetes, he's overweight (borderline obese), has gained nearly 50 pounds since we met (and my cooking isn't THAT good, people!), stays up watching movies until the wee hours, the list goes on and on. Oh, and he smokes cigars. He always comes home from his doctors appointments declaring how healthy he is "considering," but his doctor once told me over the phone that he had decreased blood flow from heart to lungs and that he must quit smoking the cigars. He poo-pooed that recommendation. And he casually mentioned the other day (while watching a Discovery Channel show on obesity) that he has an enlarged heart. He lives a completely sedentary lifestyle, barely getting off of the couch.
That said, I have to prepare myself for life without him. My father died in a car accident when I was 5, and both of his parents died in a car accident when he was 16. So perhaps more than most people, we really know that one or the other of us might be gone tomorrow. Add to that his age and health, if I'm not a single mother within 5 years it'll be a miracle. I'm not trying to be pessimistic or fatalist, or whatever, but with 2 small children I have to prepare myself. I'm in school again, getting yet another degree (still looking for the right one!) so that in a year or two he can retire and I'll go back to work. I love being a SAHM, but to be out of the workforce for so long, I can't see going back into the working world if something should happen to DH and trying to support my family on barely more than minimum wage. It sucks, but it's reality.
DH is worried that he won't even live to see the girls graduate from high school, much less have children of their own. But more than that he worries that he'll become a burden to us if he needs extended care and so forth.
Wow, that was a depressing post. But seriously the way his face lights up when the girls run to him is priceless. He says that the kids are killing him, but I think they're keeping him alive.