I think my response would be, "I'm sorry you can't make it to pick her up. Is there a better time today, or do you want to reschedule for a different day altogether?" Alternately, I would see if you could change the agreement and calculate the cost of transportation into child support. I would probably want to try the first one, then the second one if her response to the first was to just not see her daughter.You can't change another person's behavior, but you CAN change your response to it. And they won't change their own behavior unless what they are doing stops working for them.[/
My bolding. I totally agree with this, and that's what I'm torn about. I feel like she never has to pull it together because we fix it, on the other hand, if we just say no, and dss doesn't see his mom much, is that success? My first response is what you suggested, "That's too bad, do you want to pick him up later. . ." but then I know dss would say, "Why can't you just drive me to my mom's?" I don't have a good answer. I'm teaching her a lesson? It's not my problem?