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post #241 of 582
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by gabysmom617 View Post
was trying to figure out the best place to talk about this, and I think it goes here.

I'm having a really difficult time trying to figure out how to take care of my own children at once. It's really extremely difficult for me. It's not just about taking care of them, but how to relate to both of them at once. I have a pretty typical one-track AD/hd mind, I can only handle one thing at a time to the exclusion of everything else, so I'm finding handling my 2week old and my 3yo together to be daunting.

I'm on Zoloft for postpartum depression. My mom had been helping me a lot with my 3yo over the past couple of weeks while I heal up and stuff.

I also feel like I have to emotionally ready myself to deal with both boys. The last few times I had my two children alone together, I felt some extreme anxiety. Not just teary, or unsure, but like, my heart was racing, and I really felt like I was freaking out. Meanwhile both of my boys are sitting there looking at me like, and each other, like whats her problem.

I felt like I really needed to get a handle on myself and let my meds really kick in.

Well tonight, I really thought I had a handle on myself. My mom drops my 3yo off today, my husband goes to work. He is off tomorrow. So it's like, to me, I just have to really make it through his one 8 hour shift tonight and then he's around all day tomorrow to help and most of the day friday. Things are good.

I took my kid to mcdonalds to play indoors since it was raining. Nursed the baby while I was there. Took him to the store afterwards to replace a special little car that he'd lost and had been asking about for weeks so he'd have something special to play with when we got home and I was occupied with the baby. Things are ok.

...or so I thought. This is how I know I didn't have quite have the handle on my anxiety that I thought I did.

We get home, my 3yo wants a bath. That's fine. All I have to do is put the baby in the carseat and screw the stopper down in the bathtub so it can be filling up. So I put the baby down...

I fiddle with the stopper. And fiddle. And fiddle. The stupid thing will absolutely NOT screw down. It's old and rusty but Im usually easily able to get it to screw down. I. just. can't. My 3yo is axiously beside me ready for his bath, asking me the same questions over and over again. "U fix it mommy? It's broke? U fix it? U fix it? U fix it?"

Finally I annoyedly tell him to hush..

The baby starts crying. I'm freaking out. I finally stop and go to comfort him.

I calm him down, my 3yo is on my heels everywhere I go cause he wants to take a bath with his new toy.

Eventually I try putting the baby down again. I try to screw the stopper down again. It stilll won't. The 3yo is getting excited. The baby eventually starts screaming again. This time really bad. So I"m getting extremely frustrated with the stopper. It takes me a while to calm the baby down this time. My 3yo is starting to do stuff he knows annoys me to get attention from me, basically in defiance because he wants his bath and I haven't had a chance to get it together for him yet..

I try calling my husband like 3 times with no answer to get him to explain to me if there is something he's done with the stopper or broke it or something and I not know about it. FINALLY i reach him, he's like no, just screw it down.

So finally, I put the baby down one more time. I pull his bucket seat in with me so he can watch us. He sits in it and starts to doze off.

And a novel idea hits me. What if I tried screwing the stopper in the opposite direction? I do this. Quick as a flash, the stopper screws down.

big whopping moment for me. All that time I was screwing the stopper the wrong way and was too busy freaking out to notice. Ugh.

so...I guess my brain hasn't quite calmed itself down being wrapped around the notion of caring for two children as well as I thought it had. only some one with anxiety plus add would understand
I have done almost this exact thing. It was a window fan for me, which I eventually wrenched out of the window by force (and broke), scaring my 2 yo to death. Yeah- momma freaking out can be scary. . .

what caused the anxiety for me was the fact that it was raining in, all over my clothes- which were on the floor instead of in a drawer where they belonged. . . By the time I ripped the fan out, it had stopped raining. :

Have your meds had a chance to kick in yet? the anxiety is the worst, I agree. Did things improve after that? I'm glad you have your dh home today.

nak
post #242 of 582
Ohhh, hugs Sonya. Be easy on yourself. This is a time of big adjustment. Your 3 yo is used to having all your attention, so this is new for him. You're not used to having to split your attention, and it's new and sometimes hard for you. Give yourself permission to take a minute and sit back and breathe. You don't have to fix everything. Maybe it could help to have a verse/prayer or saying you read that helps you focus and calm a little.

I was babysitting for a little guy, 3 mos younger than my DD, it would drive me crazy when they would both cry and want to be held, but not at the same time. She would touch him, and he'd push her away, or she'd insist on trying to nurse on the side I was holding him and push at him.

I learned that he would fall asleep even if she were fussing at my feet since he has an older brother, is used to noise, whereas she would wait until nothing was happening to fall asleep.
So one thing, was figuring out simple ways to keep them both happy or calming the one who would calm down quicker and let me 'loose' to attend the other.

If there are any specific instances you need help brainstorming with, let us know. We can think outside the box!

And by the way, Congratulations! Your little guy is so cute!
post #243 of 582
Thread Starter 
maggirayne- how are you? how's pg?

nak
post #244 of 582
Thanks so much for the helpful hints!

Is Zoloft supposed to help with anxiety? I'm not sure how long it's supposed to take before it starts to kick in, I've been taking it for a little over a week now.

I know my mom has anxiety issues. I have been grappling over whether I have them as well or not. I always kind of denied that I did, even though there were times where I think I may have had an anxiety attack on rare occassions.

I think yesterday the drama surrounding a simple bathtub stopper is what really drove the point home for me that, yes, I do indeed have anxiety issues. I think they intensify postpartum for me. I think they did last time with my first kid as well, but my memories are fuzzy. I do remember panicing from time to time and asking my husband to come home from work early. I didn't even recall that at all until just recently and feeling the same way with this kid.

My memory is strange around this time. Sleep deprivation really messes me up.
post #245 of 582
Thread Starter 
I think what many people don't realize is that you don't necessarily have to have anxiety attacks in order to have anxiety issues.

I think add causes anxiety- I mean how can you not be anxious when you're always late, and can't find your keys- YK? And PP causes anxiety physically(for your new babe) and hormonally. Add ADD and PP together, and you have a recipe for depression that's hard to fight. It's like fighting gravity.


I thought Zoloft was for anxiety, but maybe something else would help? Or maybe trying herbs and vitamins would help too? If it's just generalized anxiety from lack of sleep, and being PP, I'd think the Zoloft would help, but IDK really.

to you too, here, at least, you have a place to vent!
post #246 of 582
Hi Ladies!

So some things I'd love to hear your input on:

Dh and I had a total comin to Jesus over his ADHD/Anxiety/Depression and he elected to go to counseling and get meds. He has had raving success with Celexa. BUT it's possibly causing some sexual side-effects. There are some other issues we're going thru too, marital issues, that all seem to tie back into his matrix of imbalance and his meds......... Some days he blames stuff on the imbalances, some days on his meds, some days on ME. I know that some of what he deals with when he's cycling can make it difficult to be accountable for his behavior, and some of it has the potential to cause disasterous behavior...

However, I also deal with some of the same issues, and have been accused of copping out when I refer to having a bad day with my ADHD. I'm tired of hearing the litany of excuses for his stuff, and having no lattitude in explaining some of my own "bad days"...... kwim?

I am considering going on AdderallXR. I am in school full time and the classes are getting really difficult to wrap my tired out mother-brain around, and ADHD has been really getting in there and messing me up. (Even now, as I type this, I should be working on two papers that are both due tomorrow!) Ugh!!

I would love to have access to a counselor, but we've not got the insruance for it... Dh's MIL step-mother will pay for him to get counseling, but he only went enough times to get drugs, and doesn't see much value in returning in order to actually process some of the traumas etc he has endured. I (as a future clinician) see little value to drugs alone. He doesn't. Ok, that's his bent - the meds are enough. You can lead a horse to water... But he wants me to get on meds now, and is kinda pushy about it. When I halfway agree, then he says "Well, I don't know if you need them... "

And frankly, if I find a means to be re-assessed and prescribed meds myself, I would feel awkward not combining it with therapy...

Thoughts?

Anyone seeing a therapist/on meds, just on meds, just seeing a therapist, or none of these and just coping? (Like me... only probably better than me! )
post #247 of 582
Thread Starter 
Wow, those are some tough things.

Here's my 2 cts. When we are faced with change, we tend to run through a cycle just like when we're greiving. We move through denial, anger, blame, sadness and if we're lucky, we come to terms with it, we accept it and make it work for us.

At least that's what I have dealt with when I got diagnosed. I think I've acceopted it for the most part, but sometimes I stil blame, get angry, etc. Most of the time I can laugh at myself and capitolise on my strengths.
My DH is moving through the same things right now, as he comes to termswith the fact that he's basically screwed around his whole life, waiting for others to take care of him. Well, I can't anymore, at least not and be a good mom and a decent housekeeper. so he's having to face what needs to be done, but also what that means about WHO he is.

If any of that makes sense, it's a miracle, but what I'm trying to say is, your DH has to work through these things, and hiopefully he'll come out the other side a happier person. YOUR struggle about whether to medicate ot=r not has to be your own decision, and separate from your DH's issues right now.

For me, if I was on Meds, I'd want counseling too, and since meds have side effects I can't accept right now, and I don't have time to counsel, I'll stick with my herbs and vitamins!

I hope that was helpful in some small way!
post #248 of 582
It was helpful. My friend (a 12-stepper) sometimes tells me to look first at myself and the rest will follow (I think she said it's step 12). Meaning, look not at what you don't like about how other people behave but rather to your reactions and your part and how you can change that.

So someone else told me recently to try Vitamin B to ease some of the issues I have.... citing research wherein mental patients had been given Vitamin B doses and found to be "cured". She swears by it.

Other than Vit B, what other herbs and vits would you recommend looking into?
post #249 of 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrennaMama View Post
Other than Vit B, what other herbs and vits would you recommend looking into?
First, if you're nursing, talk to your doctor or someone you trust and is knowledgeable about bf and vitamins/herbs before you start anything.

I'll tell you what I'm taking, though, so you can do the research and decide.

Prenatal
B-50
Cal/Mag
Ginko Biloba
Valerian
Fish Oil
Iron
post #250 of 582
Thread Starter 
I'm doing a B-50 complex, Valerian, omega three supplement (it's a fishy one too), and a multivitamin.

When the PPd got bad with DS1- I tried some SAM-e and it helped during the day, but it made the fantastic thinking during night nursing sessions worse. I stopped taking it as soon as I thought I was over the hump, as it were. . .

One thing that also helps me is staying away from bread and potatos and sugar, they make me wakko anyway, and it doesn't help to add that to my already baseline wakkoness! Also- excercise- for the endorphins.


Oh- and caffeine. I consider that medicine.
post #251 of 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
I'm doing a B-50 complex, Valerian, omega three supplement (it's a fishy one too), and a multivitamin.

When the PPd got bad with DS1- I tried some SAM-e and it helped during the day, but it made the fantastic thinking during night nursing sessions worse. I stopped taking it as soon as I thought I was over the hump, as it were. . .

One thing that also helps me is staying away from bread and potatos and sugar, they make me wakko anyway, and it doesn't help to add that to my already baseline wakkoness! Also- excercise- for the endorphins.


Oh- and caffeine. I consider that medicine.
Hey! Nothing wrong with a little caffeine. I swear it helps me focus. I only have one cup of coffee in the morning and for a few days I cut out all caffeine because I know that it can negatively impact anxiety. I turned into a bloody mess because I didn't realize how much it focused me. I was becoming even more anxious without the caffeine to sharpen my thinking. I'm taking a prenatal (still nursing), fish oil, and cal/mag. Rescue Remedy to take the edge off or Sweet Chesnut when I'm completely out of my mind and there you go.

sigh:: I guess you just have to strike a balance, YK?
post #252 of 582
Thread Starter 
tell me more about the sweet chestnut?


Oh, sometimes I take Calms Forte', too.


Yeha that about striking a balance- let me know when you've figured out how! :
post #253 of 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
tell me more about the sweet chestnut?


Oh, sometimes I take Calms Forte', too.


Yeha that about striking a balance- let me know when you've figured out how! :
Well the bottle says:

Oh for the love of god. I just got up to get the bottle and its not where I thought I put it. I'll be back.
post #254 of 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by honeydee View Post
Oh for the love of god. I just got up to get the bottle and its not where I thought I put it. I'll be back.


That was hilarious. I almost peed myself.

:
post #255 of 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post


That was hilarious. I almost peed myself.

:
Oh good, I'm glad someone else thought that was funny because I laughed too. And I still can't find the freaking bottle.
post #256 of 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
Oh- and caffeine. I consider that medicine.
I am a full-blown caffeine addict... at least 2 cups a day, often 4 or more shots of espresso. It's a total leveller for me. Speed used to level me out back in the young party days, too... doc says it's very common for people with ADHD to have a-typical reactions to things that speed "normals" up. :

Quote:
Originally Posted by honeydee View Post
Oh good, I'm glad someone else thought that was funny because I laughed too. And I still can't find the freaking bottle.
: You ladies are really funny! I love this thread, I feel so normal whenever I come over here!
post #257 of 582
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by honeydee View Post
Oh good, I'm glad someone else thought that was funny because I laughed too. And I still can't find the freaking bottle.






oh. man! :
post #258 of 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
maggirayne- how are you? how's pg?
I hate morning sickness. I'm not telling my mom until Christmas, but she suspects. At least she's quit asking. We were gone for a long weekend, DH got a deer, so fresh sirloin for lunch : when I get off my duff and lay DD down.

We've all three had a nasty cough.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PrennaMama View Post
Hi Ladies!

So some things I'd love to hear your input on:

Dh and I had a total comin to Jesus over his ADHD/Anxiety/Depression and he elected to go to counseling and get meds. He has had raving success with Celexa. BUT it's possibly causing some sexual side-effects. There are some other issues we're going thru too, marital issues, that all seem to tie back into his matrix of imbalance and his meds......... Some days he blames stuff on the imbalances, some days on his meds, some days on ME. I know that some of what he deals with when he's cycling can make it difficult to be accountable for his behavior, and some of it has the potential to cause disasterous behavior...

However, I also deal with some of the same issues, and have been accused of copping out when I refer to having a bad day with my ADHD. I'm tired of hearing the litany of excuses for his stuff, and having no lattitude in explaining some of my own "bad days"...... kwim?

I am considering going on AdderallXR. I am in school full time and the classes are getting really difficult to wrap my tired out mother-brain around, and ADHD has been really getting in there and messing me up. (Even now, as I type this, I should be working on two papers that are both due tomorrow!) Ugh!!

I would love to have access to a counselor, but we've not got the insruance for it... Dh's MIL step-mother will pay for him to get counseling, but he only went enough times to get drugs, and doesn't see much value in returning in order to actually process some of the traumas etc he has endured. I (as a future clinician) see little value to drugs alone. He doesn't. Ok, that's his bent - the meds are enough. You can lead a horse to water... But he wants me to get on meds now, and is kinda pushy about it. When I halfway agree, then he says "Well, I don't know if you need them... "

And frankly, if I find a means to be re-assessed and prescribed meds myself, I would feel awkward not combining it with therapy...

Thoughts?

Anyone seeing a therapist/on meds, just on meds, just seeing a therapist, or none of these and just coping? (Like me... only probably better than me! )
See if you can get a counselor thru a grad program that needs hours for like an internship or something. They wouldn't have a lot of experience, but better than nothing, possibly. Or call local counseling places and see if they have a sliding fee scale. It sounds like you both would benefit from boundary-setting/marriage/relationship counseling, perhaps.

ITA not taking meds unless in counseling concurrently.

I take a prenatal and Fish oil. :P We got a better one that doesn't make me burp. So I don't really treat my ADD.

Quote:
Originally Posted by honeydee View Post
Well the bottle says:

Oh for the love of god. I just got up to get the bottle and its not where I thought I put it. I'll be back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by honeydee View Post
Oh good, I'm glad someone else thought that was funny because I laughed too. And I still can't find the freaking bottle.
I am cracking up, you sound just like me! :
post #259 of 582
Thread Starter 
Maggirayne- You know if you freeze venison, it travels pretty well through the mail. . . . . : :


I hope all of you feel better soon!
post #260 of 582
Aww, did I make you hungry? Elisabeth loves the vension.

Too bad you're not down in KY, my dad says this year you can shoot as many does as you want. drop They don't have a freezer, so I don't know what they'll do if he gets one.

Does your DH hunt? How's the job stuff going?

I fried some of the sirloin up for lunch, it was good. It's tastes stronger than usual, but that's me. I'll be so glad when things taste normal. I don't recall this happening with last pg, but then it was funny-tasting when we ate Chinese.

Hey, I just noticed, you've been an MDCer for a year! :
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