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Looking for Mommas with ADD/ADHD... - Page 4

post #61 of 582
I have severe ADD and am on Adderall, which works like a miracle for me. I was diagnosed formally at 38 or 39, when I went into my dr. and said, I just can't cope anymore." I forget things constantly, I can't keep track of what needs to be done, etc. I have five kids, a DH who really chips in to help out, and a blossoming business that requires mega-concentration. I am a professional musician and I suspect that many "artsy" people are ADD!! At least all my musician friends are! We've often discussed whether that is a requirement for being a musician, is being ADD!
Anyway, I had a nervous breakdown four years ago and had to be put on anti-psychotics (I had a BAAAD one....PTSD with reactive psychosis). Fortunately over the last four years I have been able to cut down on my meds. I do not like taking meds but I know I need to take what I have to stay semi-sane.
But you know what, no one ever talks about the BENEFITS of having ADD. It isn't all bad! We are able to concentrate really well on the things we want to concentrate on. We have lots of energy at times. WE're able to give 100% concentration when it needs be, unlike "normal" people. So don't knock ADD too much! Many great brains have had ADD and have done just fine.
Just my two cents...
Lissa
post #62 of 582
Thread Starter 
Hello there, Lissacamille! Lest you think we are entirely a complainers anonymous here, we did post some good stuff about having ADD. It IS mixed in with the hopping-up-and-down-swearing stuff, but it's there!
I'm a big fan of the hyperfocus myself! I know if I wasn't blessed with this brain, I wouldn't be able to do the things I do. Your 2 cents is entirely welcome here! I'm glad you got over that bad patch. I think most of us around here are just about doing what it takes to live in our world! And I think most creative people must have ADD too.

honeydee- I'm so sorry you haven't found your keys! I'll refrain from asking any of the obvious questions!

On the autism spectrum/ADD thing, I want to say it was in a recent issue of Mothering mag! I am almost sure it was, because I shared it with a friend of mine who also has ADD when she mentioned being concerned because her daughter has a few Asperger's like traits.

I overheard one of the ladies talking at church, and saying their daughter is being tested for ADD. So of course, I pitch in! Oh, I have ADD! It's not a terrible thing, you know, lots of good comes with it. They're like, oh,what are you on? I said, B-vitamins! We had a good discussion about how it's not the end of the world and she's just wired slightly differently.
post #63 of 582
Hi ladies-

I found an interesting web site of patient-medicine reviews:

Ask A Patient

I looked up Strattera, Concerta, Adderall, Lamictal, Depakote and Wellbutrin. Very interesting to see what other people have to say about their first hand experience with them.
post #64 of 582
wow im so excited to find this thread! i was diagnosed with ADD after i almost failed out my first semester of college they put me on adderall and my life changed for ever... in a good way.

were any of you on medicine that worked well before you got pregnant that didnt work after? i am having such a hard time finding a medicine that works now. any suggestions?

also how do you do the who being a mom and add thing without letting your house get so disastrous its easier to move then clean up? my apt and school work has totally been left to the wayside lately.

esp since i think im lowering or going off my meds b/c im relactating and cant get clear info about adderall/ vyvance and bfing. anyone know anything or have done it? my LO pediatrician says i can if they 'watch him' (sounds a little ominous to me) others say no.. any thoughts??
post #65 of 582
Thread Starter 
Hello, 1littlebit! it looked like the PP before you had a good site for the BFing question. . . which I may have to look up myself!


Ummmm. . . . at this point in time it would definately be easier for me to move than clean!



And, I just had the standard lecture on time management and personal responsibility and self discipline from. . . .MY PASTOR!!!!!


Umm, discipline can only take me so far, here! :
post #66 of 582
Thread Starter 
Journeymom- I looked at that website, and all I can say is,


:


Holy Freakin' Cow
post #67 of 582
maybe i missed it or im looking at a differnt site but i didnt see to much on bfing but ive been on four the medications.. and either some people are taking waaayyyyy to much, are actually crazy, or someone well.. im glad i didnt have those kinds of side effect.. loss of appetite, dry mouth, constipation.. sure that i had some of... homicidal, insanity, depression? never had those.. thankgod. i have a hard enough time with medication (used to work great pre pregnancy now not so much ?!?!?!) for me being pregnant was a hellish expirience b/c everything was so much harder
post #68 of 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1littlebit View Post

also how do you do the who being a mom and add thing without letting your house get so disastrous its easier to move then clean up? my apt and school work has totally been left to the wayside lately.
Throw out everything you own. Seriously. Just get rid of your kids/baby for a day and use that hyperfocus while you clean.

I was having serious problems with anxiety and it all had to do with the fact that my house was more than I could handle and having clutter combined with no rhythm to the day was really making me feel unfocused. I couldn't take it anymore. So starting in December I started decluttering and compacting like crazy just to cut down on the stuff I had to tend to/clean in the home.

I managed to get the entire family down to 1 week's worth of clothing (because laundry was one of my biggest downfalls) and then I goodwilled the rest. A couple weeks ago my husband took the kids for one day and then my MIL had them for another and I got rid of a truckload of toys. It was absolutely nuts how many toys they had and I think I got it down to about 20-30% of what they had. That stuff also went to Goodwill. I am trying to force myself not to procrastinate and to JUST DO IT.

Decluttering has made such a difference in my life because now when I want to start one of my many projects I don't have to clean and clear a space just to get started, I can just get going. And that was something that used to truly discourage me from starting anything. I feel more relaxed in my home now and I don't feel overwhelmed and like I am going to have a panic attack every time I look around. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I am also trying to learn that things take TIME. The second I get an idea in my head I want it to happen NOW. And I will work myself into a frenzy to get results in a hurry and then become easily frustrated because I am not getting things done fast enough (for me). So I really have to force myself to stick with something so I can finally see a result in my efforts, which is how I have managed to declutter and become a somewhat sane person.
post #69 of 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
Journeymom- I looked at that website, and all I can say is,


:


Holy Freakin' Cow
No kidding! There is NO professional editing. It's just hundreds of people leaving reviews of medications. I pick and choose carefully what to pay attention to.

I was relieved to find that out of 85 reviews for one med that I take, five reviews mention night sweats like I am having. So it's NOT perimenopause, thankyouverymuch.
post #70 of 582
Thread Starter 
It really woke me up though, I didn't even know some of those were possible side effects!


AAM- (heaves a huge sigh) I actually had to explain to my Pastor that I have ADD. It's not something I broadcast, KWIM? I've only had to explain this one other time, and it was only because I KNEW what was affecting my performance, and it was completely out of my control. It didn't go well that time either.

They've given me a list of requirements for a ministry student, and they are FAIR. But one of them is that they expect 100% punctuality. Now, laying aside the fact that half the time I'm late it's because of DH, I cannot be 15 minutes early 100% of the time. Without laying down the whole conversation, I will just say, that my Senior Pastor at least, thought I was saying something like, 'well, I have ADD so I won't be on time'.

That is NOT what I was trying to communicate! : He actually said to me, not to expect any leeway from them because of this!!!! HELLOOOO!!!! Noone has EVER given me ANY leeway for this in my entire LIFE! Why on earth would I expect sympathy NOW?????

To make it worse, because I'm pregnant and tired and stressed, I started to cry. :
Could I have embarrased myself further, I wonder? I think not.

One of those days that just makes you want to throw in the towel. I think He may be one of those people who doesn't 'beleive' in ADD.
post #71 of 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1littlebit View Post
wow im so excited to find this thread! i was diagnosed with ADD after i almost failed out my first semester of college they put me on adderall and my life changed for ever... in a good way.
I'm so glad that you found something that worked! To me, it felt like a fog had lifted off my brain!

Quote:
were any of you on medicine that worked well before you got pregnant that didnt work after? i am having such a hard time finding a medicine that works now. any suggestions?
You could need a different dosage maybe. If you are heavier or lighter than you were pre-pregnancy, that could make the dosage less effective. Or it could be that you simply "grew out of" that med and need a different kind. The kids' doctor asks me that sometimes....if they've grown out of a dosage.

Quote:
also how do you do the who being a mom and add thing without letting your house get so disastrous its easier to move then clean up? my apt and school work has totally been left to the wayside lately.
I have ADHD so maybe that "H" is what saves my house...lol Ritalin allows me to focus more. I remember when I would try to clean the house without it and I would take something from one room, put it in another, see something wrong with that room, clean it for a while and then carry something from that room to another and it would continue like that for an hour. When I stopped and looked around, I had been all over the house and exhausted but nothing was really clean! To keep my house clean now, I get on the kids to keep their rooms clean: No toys! Toys belong in the playroom in the basement. No clothes on the floor! Those belong in the hamper provided to each kid. They also vacuum their rooms twice a week. There's no eating anywhere in the house except the kitchen/breakfast area. Of course, I take care of my room, the laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, etc. Hubby pitches in now and then.... Voila! a clean house!

Quote:
esp since i think im lowering or going off my meds b/c im relactating and cant get clear info about adderall/ vyvance and bfing. anyone know anything or have done it? my LO pediatrician says i can if they 'watch him' (sounds a little ominous to me) others say no.. any thoughts??
I'm not sure about breastfeeding and taking any kinds of meds. I've heard a lot of "stories" but nothing to confirm either way. I found this on a quick search:

Adderal is dextroamphetamine.
As for an alternative while breastfeeding, I'd suggest Ritalin (Methylphenidate). While we don't have any published data, we've studied milk levels in several women and they are modestly low. Doesn't seem to bother the infants.

HTH!



post #72 of 582
Thread Starter 
"I remember when I would try to clean the house without it and I would take something from one room, put it in another, see something wrong with that room, clean it for a while and then carry something from that room to another and it would continue like that for an hour. When I stopped and looked around, I had been all over the house and exhausted but nothing was really clean! " by 636Jen


:


BTDT!
post #73 of 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1littlebit View Post
esp since i think im lowering or going off my meds b/c im relactating and cant get clear info about adderall/ vyvance and bfing. anyone know anything or have done it? my LO pediatrician says i can if they 'watch him' (sounds a little ominous to me) others say no.. any thoughts??
I'd post in the BFing form and ask if someone with Thomas Hale's Medications and Mother's Milk would look it up for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
It really woke me up though, I didn't even know some of those were possible side effects!

AAM- (heaves a huge sigh) I actually had to explain to my Pastor that I have ADD. It's not something I broadcast, KWIM? I've only had to explain this one other time, and it was only because I KNEW what was affecting my performance, and it was completely out of my control. It didn't go well that time either.

To make it worse, because I'm pregnant and tired and stressed, I started to cry. :
Could I have embarrased myself further, I wonder? I think not.

One of those days that just makes you want to throw in the towel. I think He may be one of those people who doesn't 'beleive' in ADD.
I'm sorry. I wish I could hug you! You didn't embarrass yourself, he showed how legalistic and uncompassionate he could be. Man, people like that really make me understand why people avoid churches and God. Argh.

Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
"I remember when I would try to clean the house without it and I would take something from one room, put it in another, see something wrong with that room, clean it for a while and then carry something from that room to another and it would continue like that for an hour. When I stopped and looked around, I had been all over the house and exhausted but nothing was really clean! " by 636Jen
This is sooo me too!
post #74 of 582
Yes, this is me. I am unmedicated. Research now shows that ADD, and Tourette's are on the autism spectrum. Who knows exactly what I am, other than I have annoying sensory issues, and ADHD -- including being a former adrenaline junkie.

Things that help: A huge wall calendar. No clutter. Low volume television,Magnesium. Gluten free Diet
Doing laundry every day. Exercise. Clean house. And for some reason, drinking tons of water helps with anxiety. If I have important things to remember, I email myself, then put it on my big wall calendar -- no joke it is a large thing with dry erase. I color code kids' activities.

I also keep a simple, small purse, and have a hook to hang my keys on.
I make meals ahead and write them all out, including what snacks I have in the house, and post them on the fridge. Then I just follow the lists.

Things that don't help: being nagged for forgetting things, and a planner to write things in ( I lose the planner). It kinda sucks hating the way clothes feel, not being able to hear if I am looking, not being able to process what I see when I am listening, forgetting constantly, but I am always trying to improve my organization.
post #75 of 582
Welcome, SiouxSweet!

Thanks for that medication page, even if it isn't professionally moderated, it is very informative.

My DH and I were prescribed Flagyl for a suspected STD, which I didn't realize at the dr.'s office, or I would have asked a lot more questions, since we are each other's only partners(married as virgins). Don't these drs. know to ask questions? :
So 30 days later, DH gets a horrible, totally horrible rash, he would lay in bed and just shudder convulsively. They said it couldn't possibly be related to the antibiotic since it had been (2-3 days) over 30 days since he'd had the antibiotics, so it couldn't possibly be those. But 8 or 9 other people on that review page had had rashes also. My DD was a newborn (just that week!) and he kept me up more than she did. It was really frustrating.
post #76 of 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post

honeydee- I'm so sorry you haven't found your keys! I'll refrain from asking any of the obvious questions!
Oh yeah, those things are GONE! They still haven't turned up. Oh well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lissacamille View Post
But you know what, no one ever talks about the BENEFITS of having ADD. It isn't all bad! We are able to concentrate really well on the things we want to concentrate on. We have lots of energy at times. WE're able to give 100% concentration when it needs be, unlike "normal" people. So don't knock ADD too much! Many great brains have had ADD and have done just fine.
Just my two cents...
Lissa

I tell you what, some days it seems like a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing for my job because I waitress and let me tell you hyperfocus is a beautiful thing on a busy Saturday night.

I really think that I wouldn't be as creative as I am without it, and I am an idea person through and through. I have so many dreams but I fail in the follow-through aspect. So I am learning how to ask for help and delegate so I can make things happen.
post #77 of 582
Thread Starter 
Hi all, and welcome, SiouxSweet!

Bear with me, ladies, as I respond to several people. I haven't figured out the partial/multiple quote thing yet!

Honeydee- you never did find them?! Watch now, they'll turn up tomorrow.

What you said about asking for help does sometimes backfire on you, though, like it did with my pastor!

Maggirayne- Thank you for your kind words! It seems the other pastor (my female associate pastor whose grandson has Asperger's) does understand and has extended a sort of unspoken support to me.

I'm so sorry about your DH! IME noone ever beleives you were a virgin when you got married. At least doctors don't, anyway!

SiouxSweet-I thought it was interesting, too that ADD and ADHD now appear on the Autism Spectrum. It does explain some things though!

I also have some sensory issues, and I can distinctly remember sitting in school (tenth grade English) and being entirely absorbed by the fact that one of my socks had fallen down. I plotted how I was going to fix it until the bell rang.

I liked your list of things that do and don't help. I have a basket by the door that my keys go in the minute I step into the house. I am a listmaker too, a compulsive listmaker. We went to Chincoteague a few weeks ago, and if anyone besides DH had seen the twelve or so lists it took to get us packed and out the door, they'd have locked me away! I'm quite proud though, because the only thing we forgot was DS's stuffed animal, and that was because I told DH to grab it, and HE got distracted!

Nagging doesn't help me either, but a gentle reminder can help.



AAM- unfortunately, I am faced with preparingthe house for FIL on Saturday. . . We'll see what I can accomplish before 9:00pm on Friday!
Did I mention I'm a procrastinator?
post #78 of 582
Heidi, you are so welcome. I know how frustrating it is and the gap between ppl's understanding. My mom see ADD as an excuse to not do stuff I was supposed to. Huh, it was so relieving to know 'what was wrong with me'. I would desperately want to do stuff and felt like I was sabotaging myself. I hated college.

To multi-quote, click the button between the Quote and the Quick-reply buttons. It took me awhile to figure it out.

I need to stay home tomorrow and clean, I'm hosting a women's(MOPS offshoot) book club next Wednesday, and DH would be thrilled if the house were clean when he came home tomorrow, and we didn't have to do it all weekend. Sooo, I'll PM you and encourage you and tell you what I've gotten done by lunch tomorrow, what do you say? Otherwise I can spend all morning(and afternoon) online. :

I am such a last minute cleaner, make that hider and stuffer.

the sock
I used to spend hours watching the squirrel in the oak trees out my window. My mom just didn't get why I didn't get my schoolwork done. :
And then I'd read and would slide the book under the desk and hold with my leg. Heh, I could hyperfocus when reading what I wanted to.

Yay for you and your lists! I love it when I don't forget stuff(or have to make [multiple] trips back into the house).
post #79 of 582
Thread Starter 
Maggirayne- I totally relate with the reading under the desk thing, I thought I was the only one who did that! I could prop the book up in the pencil tray under the desk, and then I could just slide it in quick if the teacher came. Of course, I got so involved in my book, I never did see the teacher comeing anyway!

I have the last minute stuffing down pat. The only problem is, my attic is full, and my house doesn't have any closets! I seriously want to just rent a dumpster and fill it to the brim. I am SO sick of STUFF.
I told DH yesterday that I was about to just start pitching stuff if I didn't get is help soon (like tomorrow!) and he said, "I believe you." Good, now HELP ME!!!!!!! :

Thanks for the multi quote tip. I'll try that when I have more time.


We're waiting for it to be time to go to our play date, so all I'll get done this morning is laundry, but that's a good thing, since the hallway to our one bathroom is essentially the laundry area, and right now you can hardly walk through it! ARGH!


Right now I have a totally naked toddler bouncing up and down on his baby potty watching a BOZ video. Now he has one foot IN the potty, oh well . . . .
post #80 of 582
Thread Starter 
Hey everyone,
It seems we all have our own little set of 'tricks' we learned. Let's share a few of our best/funniest ones.

Here are a few of mine. . .

I often 'see' things being written on the inside of my head. I have trouble tracking when I'm listening, so if I can 'see' it, even if it's brief, I can recall it later.

I also 'see' scripts of past conversations when remembering one. Literally scripted like a play.

When I forget something, like where was I going with this book anyway?, I go back and repeat exactly what I was doing before I forgot it, and it will often pop back into my head!



Anyone see a visual theme here?
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