2008! Plus-sized and Pregnant Tribe! - Page 2

[Dov'sMom]

Last time, I wore two back-closing hospital gowns, one backwards and one forwards. I didn't bother closing either one. That way I was totally covered (which was important to me, not to everyone) but as soon as DS was born I could easily let the front one "drop" to give him skin-to-skin time and nursing.


Oh, and I plan to bring one of those "Bella Band" type things to the hospital this time. The straps they had for the monitors on the maternity floor were too short (though only days earlier they had had perfectly fine straps in the diagnostic center, when I went for a non-stress test and tying two together just didn't work. I ended up with an internal monitor because I couldn't stay still and there was nothing to keep the monitors on my belly, so this time I'm bringing a Band-thing to hold them just in case.

[mchalehm]

I liked the hospital gown last time--it was comfy and it did fit, and I didn't have to wash it after the birth. So I was all for it. I don't know about this time since I will be at a different hospital.

[clutterbug]

I had a Bella Band and tummy sleeve (the Motherhood version, less expensive but is showing wear faster) for in-between this time, too. Worked great. I am still using them on occasion because one pair of maternity jeans isn't staying up properly anymore (lost their elasticity? I dunno), I find the Bella Band helps hold them in place.

[~Megan~]

Did those that birhted in hospitals find that you were discriminated against because of your weight? Fatphobia as my midwife refers to it.

[DBZ]

I was discriminated against by the doctors, not the nurses. Well the nurse in L&D said that sometimes the EFM didn't pick up the ctx really well, but it wasn't an issue.

[mchalehm]

Originally Posted by ~Megan~

Did those that birhted in hospitals find that you were discriminated against because of your weight? Fatphobia as my midwife refers to it.

Last time, no. This time--I am getting a weird vibe from my OB's office and starting to worry about that. I am 15 weeks so I have time to consider my options if it seems to be a problem.

[khanni]

Hi, I would like to join, but don't know what PM means?

I'm Karin. I have a 2-year-old daughter, born at home, and am having a boy, due in March, also to be born at home. I also have a midwife who doesn't care about my weight. I gained 80 lbs with my last pregnancy, and didn't really lose any of it (other than the weight of the actual baby) before this pregnancy. I had been dieting before hand, and gained back all the weight I had lost.

This pregnancy, I have only gained about 10 lbs, and I'm 31 weeks. In fact, I had a long span between my last check-up and my latest (24 weeks to 30 weeks), and I had lost 3 lbs. (285 lbs @ 5'8")

I'm eating plenty, but am not gaining, which I have read can be normal for overweight women. However, I also read that you should be gaining 1/2 lb in your last trimester regardless of weight. Does anybody have any experience with this? My belly has definitely grown, and my midwife doesn't seem concerened so far...

Thanks!

[mchalehm]

Originally Posted by khanni

Hi, I would like to join, but don't know what PM means?

I'm Karin. I have a 2-year-old daughter, born at home, and am having a boy, due in March, also to be born at home. I also have a midwife who doesn't care about my weight. I gained 80 lbs with my last pregnancy, and didn't really lose any of it (other than the weight of the actual baby) before this pregnancy. I had been dieting before hand, and gained back all the weight I had lost.

This pregnancy, I have only gained about 10 lbs, and I'm 31 weeks. In fact, I had a long span between my last check-up and my latest (24 weeks to 30 weeks), and I had lost 3 lbs. (285 lbs @ 5'8")

I'm eating plenty, but am not gaining, which I have read can be normal for overweight women. However, I also read that you should be gaining 1/2 lb in your last trimester regardless of weight. Does anybody have any experience with this? My belly has definitely grown, and my midwife doesn't seem concerened so far...

Thanks!

"PM" is "private message"--to send a specific message to a specific member. Welcome to the thread!

I think weight gain varies a lot. I would not fret about it unless you're not eating well. For some women pregnancy really amps up the metabolism. If the baby's measuring normal, you're fine! Most women do start gaining in the final trimester but I don't think there's any hard and fast rule about it.

[~Megan~]

With dc1 I lost weight in the first trimester and then ended up about 20lbs heavier at birth, lost it all in the first few weeks too (but still ended up looking bigger, stretched out skin and all that!)
With dc2 I didn't loose any weight but still ended up around 20lbs heavier, same loss.

This time I've stayed the same but I'm still first trimester so....

I think it you are not restricting and eating as well as you can then you are fine.

[khanni]

Thanks. I feel a little better now.

[Dov'sMom]

Originally Posted by ~Megan~

Did those that birhted in hospitals find that you were discriminated against because of your weight? Fatphobia as my midwife refers to it.

Well, other than the nurses' inability to go down one flight of stairs and get a proper fitting strap for the monitors, not at the hospital.

But my midwives! When I first met with them, I was very clear that I wanted to birth at the in-hospital birthing center, and I asked whether my weight alone would risk me out. I was assured that weight alone wouldn't be a problem, but warned that many other risk factors are more likely to occur because of my weight. At my 36 week visit I met one of the midwives for the first time, and she seemed...skeptical about my birth plan altogether. I told her I planned to birth at the B.C. and that I was going the next day for the required 1/2 day class. The next morning, as I was walking into the hospital, I got a call from another one of the midwives informing me that they had decided I was too risky to birth at the B.C. -- even though my blood pressure had been below 110/75 at every visit, my urine was completely normal every time, I wasn't showing the least signs of swellling -- basically a perfect pregnancy. I mean, I hadn't even had a backache! I went to the class anyway, because I wanted to talk to the head of the practice before accepting that, and they gave out a list of factors that would necessitate consultation with a doctor or being risked out -- weight in my range was in the category of "if there's more than one, then we need to consult with a doctor" and it was the only risk factor at all. The head of the practice just said "sorry, we're not comfortable." It's not like I gained that much weight -- they knew absolutely everything they needed to know to make that decision when I first came to them (at 28 weeks; I moved while pregnant). Their problem was that it would take longer to transfer me if there was an issue during labor -- understand, "transfer" meant through a special elevator up one flight to the normal L&D. It was in a hospital, for heaven's sake -- not like there wouldn't be enough personnel available to help carry me if needed! I was furious that they made the decision too late for me to find someone else. My mother insists that they probably decided at the beginning but didn't tell me till 37 weeks so that I couldn't switch on them; personally, I just think it was that one midwife who was uncomfortable with it who hadn't seen me before. Then again, if it was even a question, they should have had a meeting to discuss me and my weight before 37 weeks!

[butterfly_mommy]

Wow Dov'sMom that really sucks. It is so maddening when everything they check is healhty but because of your weight you are considered a risk Are you sure you can't find another care provider? I know it is late but I have heard of women changing care providers at 38 weeks and later even one women who fired her OB during labour! I hope you can figure out away to get the birth you want and deserve.

[khanni]

Does anybody else feel like their pregnancy is invisible?

I'm almost 32 weeks now, and to me and those who know I'm pregnant, clearly showing. Yet, I wonder if other people notice. Noone EVER gets up and offers me a seat on crowded buses (I know people also don't have any manners). And sometimes, to like people in stores or whatever, I say I'm pregnant for whatever reason, and they say "Oh, congratulations!" like they didn't notice before, though some see me quite often.

I realize that they could just think they're being polite, but I also know that it can sometimes be hard to tell on larger women whether or not they're pregnant. I find it frustrating. Yet, at the same time, I guess it would be weird if people just exclaimed "oh, you're pregnant" out of the blue without me saying anything, so I don't really know what I expect...

[Dov'sMom]

Originally Posted by butterfly_mommy

Wow Dov'sMom that really sucks. It is so maddening when everything they check is healhty but because of your weight you are considered a risk Are you sure you can't find another care provider? I know it is late but I have heard of women changing care providers at 38 weeks and later even one women who fired her OB during labour! I hope you can figure out away to get the birth you want and deserve.

Whoops, I should have mentioned that this was LAST pregnancy!

Theirs was the only midwifery practice at the birthing center that was available those dates -- both of the other midwives who worked there were on vacation over my EDD-month. And I had an uncomplicated hospital delivery (except for the fact that we need an internal monitor because their straps were too short) (and the fact that my midwife pressured me into agreed to an epidural because she didn't think I'd be able to push -- in her favor, though, I'd been up for more than 60 hours and could keep my eyes open between contractions) (the epidural never happened, BTW -- I started pushing too fast) so all's well that end's well, right?

ETA: Oh, and I forgot -- when my water broke, it was meconium-stained, which would have risked me out of the BC anyway! But I wouldn't have been upset about it those intervening 3 weeks...

[DBZ]

When I was pregnant with my first too, I wasn't near the size I am now. All the comments I got were actually quite annoying. I'm glad I don't get them like I did back then. However, it would be nice if one stranger would ask when I was due or something, but hey it's winter and I am covered in layers. With my last baby, I had to go to court about a week before I was due to fight a speeding ticket and some guy did give up his seat for me. The judge also noticed. I just wish he was sypathetic enough to drop the whole thing. Oh well.

[LeviathAnn]

this thread is great!

can i join yr tribe?

i'm annah, 33 wk preg with #1, due 29feb08.
i'm 6 feet tall, in the 270's as far as weight goes and thankfully, my dr. couldn't care less. just yesterday i went for a checkup and his little nurse freaked out when she weighed me. haha. up until 2 wks ago, i had only gained 21 lb. the whole time (shocking to me). yesterday i had gained 12 in two weeks to total 33 lbs. so the nurse said something like "omg you're almost 300 lbs. you don't need to gain over 40 lbs the whole time..." and suggested that i be induced at 38 weeks...

and i said NO.

should i worry about this? i live in alabama where there are no birthing centers, midwives and i regretfully went to a regular ob.

the ob himself said he was not worried at all about the weight stuff and didn't say he would induce.

sorry this post is so long!

[DBZ]

I'd tell the doctor about what the nurse said. She shouldn't be commenting on your weight at all, how much you should gain, or when you should deliver. It's not her place.

[khanni]

I wouldn't listen to her. I gained 80 lbs in my last pregnancy (from 200 to 280) and gave birth naturally, at home, at 42 weeks to an 8 lb 10 oz girl.

[Kidzaplenty]

:

[Snookler]

Hi Annah! Looks like we're due on the same day.
I wouldn't worry too much as long as your doctor doesn't make an issue of it. Just be prepared that this nurse may not be the only one to make uneducated and unsubstantiated comments and advice. As long as you feel healthy, and the baby is healthy and active, you can hold your ground to avoid any interventions you don't want.

I got the "Big Baby" talk from my ob at my last visit (I've gained 30-ish lbs and topped the 300 mark gasp!), which kind of floored me cause I'm measuring right on schedule. I even let them do an ultrasound and baby is measuring in the 75% percentile - which seems perfectly normal to me since I come from large people. However, my tiny bodied ob (who recently had a c-section herself because her baby got "too big" -over 9 lbs) wanted to prepare me for her reccommendations. I stated that unless there was substantial evidence that my baby was over 11 lbs, I would not consider any interventions due to size and that I would not consider being induced before 40wks, even if that was the case. It was so hard for me to be so straightforward as I tend to get nervous when I'm in the office, but it allieviated a lot of tension I was feeling to lay it on the table and not worry about what could be said to me at the next appt.

One fabulous mama on here posted a link to this information http://www.guideline.gov/summary/sum...px?doc_id=3972
Which clearly states that induction is not the answer for suspicion of a big baby, and doesn;t even define a macrosomic (big) baby until they reach the 11lb mark. I found it very impowering to read this info, and have it in my pocket when faced with this discussion. It sounds like your doc may already be up on it, but I've found they can turn at the drop of a hat when they feel liability may be involved, so it may not hurt to take a peek at the guidelines anyway.

What upset me the most was that I just KNEW that if I was a smaller person under the same circumstances, measuring right, all excellent test results, passed the GD, I wouldn't have heard a thing about my baby being large. That's why Im so glad to have these mamas to listen to, as it really has helped me stay strong. Glad you found this thread!