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2008! Plus-sized and Pregnant Tribe! - Page 14

post #261 of 311
I asked when I first toured the BC if my weight/size alone would risk me out. They said, "No, we generally risk out only because of weight at 300, but you are prone to other risks..." They are concerned that in an emergency, they wouldn't be able to transport you on a stretcher.

I love the size comments on the chart, because it's like if they don't write it down, the next midwife I see might not notice that I am plus sized. Please.

Other than this the only problem I had was in finding a maternity swimsuit that didn't show the belly at all. What's with all these tankinis that are designed to ride up the belly. I finally found one I liked at Motherhood though, but their suits certainly aren't designed for anyone with over a C cup though.
post #262 of 311
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
You are welcome to post helpful links like that.
Thanks! I wasn't sure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
And since I like seeing everyone else's I'll post my belly shot as encouragement to do the same!
You look so cute! I'll put up some belly shots... once my baby belly surpasses my normal belly! I'm retaining water, but at almost 12 weeks don't look pregnant yet.
post #263 of 311
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nautical View Post
I asked when I first toured the BC if my weight/size alone would risk me out. They said, "No, we generally risk out only because of weight at 300, but you are prone to other risks..." They are concerned that in an emergency, they wouldn't be able to transport you on a stretcher.
The birth center here refused to accept me as a patient because of my BMI. They risk out first time moms with a BMI over 35. I don't know why there's such a strict dividing line between under 35 and over, and I admit I'm still struggling with this and trying to get used to the idea of delivering in the hospital. Luckily the hospital has a midwifery practice, and I'm now going there. I've just spent so much time in the fat acceptance crowd lately that it bothers me so much more to be treated like a sick patient simply because I have fat thighs. (Seriously - that's where most of my weight is. )
post #264 of 311
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeddyBee View Post
The birth center here refused to accept me as a patient because of my BMI. They risk out first time moms with a BMI over 35. I don't know why there's such a strict dividing line between under 35 and over, and I admit I'm still struggling with this and trying to get used to the idea of delivering in the hospital. Luckily the hospital has a midwifery practice, and I'm now going there. I've just spent so much time in the fat acceptance crowd lately that it bothers me so much more to be treated like a sick patient simply because I have fat thighs. (Seriously - that's where most of my weight is. )
Ridiculous. I've got a +35 BMI and I had a totally healthy pregnancy with my first. My blodd pressure, weight gain, and everything was right on the mark. There's no reason for weight to be indicitive of any maternal problems.
post #265 of 311
I'm so sorry you all are being treated this way. I was also told to keep my weight between the 15 and 25 lb mark. I am on WIC and they weigh me at every check pick up appointment. While they don't say anything mean to me they always write it down and chart it and show me on this graph. I"m supposed to keep my weight in the grey area. It actually makes me a nervous wreck. Last month I made myself so nervous I threw up.

I don't even think my doctor looks at my weight. He's never said a word. It took him forever to find the heartbeat at my 16 week appointment. I made some comment about extra fluff in the way and he laughed and said that had absolutely nothing to do with it, it's heartbeat was being masked by my good healthy strong one He did find it, btw, he didn't give up and I think he enjoyed the challenge.

My DH has banned the word "fat" or any synonyms from our home. He says I made the rule to ban the word "stupid" and all synonyms so now it's his turn to pick a word. And that's the word he chose. I love him.

I have a lot of body/weight issues, and I need this kind of support. Thank you all for listening.
post #266 of 311
Pookie Mom, just tell them you want to be weighed not facing the scale and you don't want to see the graph. Tell them that your Doctor is comfortable with your weight gain and isn't comfortable with the extra stress you are getting on it. Too often as plus size women we get used to the idea that everyone has a say in our weight and forget we have a right to stand up for ourselves. WIC probably does have a requirement about needing to weigh you, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with the lecture.
post #267 of 311
Quote:
Originally Posted by avivaelona View Post
Pookie Mom, just tell them you want to be weighed not facing the scale and you don't want to see the graph. Tell them that your Doctor is comfortable with your weight gain and isn't comfortable with the extra stress you are getting on it. Too often as plus size women we get used to the idea that everyone has a say in our weight and forget we have a right to stand up for ourselves. WIC probably does have a requirement about needing to weigh you, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with the lecture.
Good advice!
post #268 of 311
Hi,
I'm pregnant with my first child which is due in November. Being overweight and pregnant I've found talking to other women who are in the same position very helpful and reassuring that I'm not alone.
Just found this thread and was hoping some of you ladies could let me know of any other dedicated plus size forums/subforums that are out there.
post #269 of 311
Thread Starter 
Has anyone seen the newest Fat Rant? Its worth watching.

I think its terrible how you all are being treated. Have you looked for other providers? My homebirth midwife has never asked how much I weigh. We've talked about it and she knows that it doesn't have a barring on how healthy your pregnancy can be.

What you weigh matters so much less than what you are putting in your body and how you move it. Why don't the providers ask that?

These blanket statements of so many pounds or a certain BMI are ridiculous. A 300lb woman that is 6' tall is dramatically different than 5' 300lb woman. A muscular 300lb woman is different too.
A very busty woman can many times never fall into "normal" BMI range.

These measurements mean almost nothing but they are such loaded information for us full of guilt and for medical providers its like the numbers mean more than the person.

I think we need to start demanding fair and equal treatment to "normal" sized women. I nearly typed "average" but we all know that the average size for a woman in American is now considered overweight, as that is a size 12.

If they tell you that you can't gain more than a certain amount demand medical literature to support their claim that only gaining a certain amount actually makes you healthier (not that is lowers your chance of c-section because that is because providers are biased and make up reasons why fat women need surgery).

If they tell you that your BMI or weight is too high as for proof. Make a diet diary and show it to them. Show them how well you are eating. Tell them how you are active.

And if you still aren't getting the treatment you deserve please move on to a better provider!
post #270 of 311
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
Has anyone seen the newest Fat Rant? Its worth watching.
I have seen it! I love her videos.

I agree with your post, Megan. I *wanted* to challenge the birth center on their decision, but in the moment I wasn't feeling confident enough to do so, even though I am active in the fat acceptance and "health at every size" communities. I talked with a friend who has delivered 700 babies or so (she's a retired midwife) and she was appalled...she said she's attended lots of happy births of women much larger than myself.

I think the psychological pressures from OB and other medical personnel have an impact on pregnant women of size. It's harder to focus on being calm, relaxed, and grounded when you sense (or they tell you) that they're expecting problems. There's no reason to expect problems, though, if we do whatever we can to care for our pregnant bodies - at least that's how it seems to me.

cheers,
heather
post #271 of 311
I LOVE reading this thread! I just pm'd my info to be added to the tribe. I'm 37yo, expecting my first (and only!) on Nov. 2. I'm having a girl!
post #272 of 311
Congrats, txgirl963!
post #273 of 311
thanks! I'm gonna have to plead ignorance here, but I didn't know that the first US is the most accurate for due dating- my due date is Oct 29. the doc kept moving it into November, but at my last US it got bumped back to Oct 29. I doubt it matters, the girl will make her appearance when she's ready!
post #274 of 311
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by txgirl963 View Post
thanks! I'm gonna have to plead ignorance here, but I didn't know that the first US is the most accurate for due dating- my due date is Oct 29. the doc kept moving it into November, but at my last US it got bumped back to Oct 29. I doubt it matters, the girl will make her appearance when she's ready!

The only reason it really matters is in the case of prematurity or induction.

Its best to go by your cycle dates if you know when you ovulated.
post #275 of 311
I have no clue. The bf had a vasectomy (a FAILED vasectomy!) so I wasn't keeping track- my LMP began Dec 27, which would put my due date at Oct 2, but the first US shows a later date. I don't think I ovulate every month- my periods have been odd since my thyroidectomy in 2004. I didn't even know I was preggo til I was 13 weeks along. Thought I had the flu.... sigh.
post #276 of 311
My first midwife appt is tomorrow. I just need to feel them out. I've heard good things and bad things about them. I guess we'll see. :
post #277 of 311
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhisperV View Post
My first midwife appt is tomorrow. I just need to feel them out. I've heard good things and bad things about them. I guess we'll see. :
good luck!
post #278 of 311
Thought I would jump in here.

I'm 27 and expecting my first child, due Feb. 10th. Weight has always been a struggle for me, but over the past 3 years I've managed to lose some pounds through Weight Watchers and exercise. Two years ago my blood pressure suddenly spiked up, and this was after I lost 35 pounds. Total mystery, likely just genetics. Anyway, I'm pretty active -- I run, and had just ran my first 10km race right before I got pregnant, and was training for a triathlon when I found out I was pregnant.

I was so freaking scared of finding a doctor or midwife because I was afraid they would give me the fat lecture and be general assholes, as so many doctors have in the past. But I lucked out! I'm seeing a family doctor with an exclusive maternity practice and she's awesome. I was on BP meds when I first saw her and she took me off them, and my BP has been totally awesome ever since. Yay!!

I asked if it was okay to lose weight because that's been in the news recently, and she looked at me like I was crazy. She said that a more generous baseline can mean you gain less weight, but not always. I said that I thought I'd be limited to 10-15 pounds of weight gain and then she REALLY thought I was crazy. She said 35 pounds is the normal weight gain that's recommended for most women, but that at some point it's out of your control -- some women gain 20, some gain 70. She totally put me at ease.

I had an ECG at the same time as heart problems run in my family and she doesn't think I should have high BP at all given my age and activity level (no mention of weight! FOR ONCE!!) and she said it was "excellent" and I was in tip-top shape. I had cried in the office at my first visit because of nerves and I'd told her a bit about past asshole doctors, and she's been grand about emphasizing that I am a strong, healthy woman. She even said that pregnancy really agrees with me, which made me feel amazing. :

Anyway, here's a little picture of me hamming it up in my first piece of maternity clothing. I was 8 weeks along here; I'm 10 weeks now and still look the same (lost a few pounds due to nausea but it's not noticeable, especially since my boobs keep getting bigger).

http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/phot...61523_9353.jpg
post #279 of 311
Megan- I agree with the busty women never measuring right on the BMI charts. Being a busty woman myself, that wasn't hard to figure out!

I for get what my BMI is, because I think it's crap.

Can I just tell you girls how much I love my MW's? I switched to a birth center, and I saw the same MW this month as I had last month! Be still my heart! NO comment made on my six lb weight gain- none! :
Comment on my BP was, Oh, 132 on top...but 74 on the bottom so you're great! And when she pressed on my legs to see if I'm swollen, she said, You're normally a bit puffy, right? Us pale skinned freckled people seem to have that problem. Then she said, try to get your feet up twice a day, remember.


No 'what have you been eating', no 'well that leaves you x lbs you can still gain', no 'watch your salt!', no 'are you drinking water?'. Just, 'this is normal for you right?'

I love being trusted.
post #280 of 311
Just saw this thread and I'd love to join

I just turned 28 and I'm pregnant w/ my 5th babe, in 7 years. I struggled w/ my weight all my life, but oddly enough looked great when I got pregnant with my first. It may have had to do w/ being 20 and backpacking in Hawaii and living in a tent...eating out of coconuts

Either way...I put on about 40lbs w/ my first and lost at least 30 of it. I got pregnant 12 months PP and put on another 40 Then...got pregnant at 3 months PP and worked my butt off to keep the weight down. I was walking w/ the two kiddos at least 2-3 miles a day, 5 times a week...down to about 1 mile a day, 4-5 times a week in the last two months. I gained 17 pounds! Did great...ob was happy, I was happy and birthed a 10.3 pound baby! (doc even said after the labor I must have lost 20 pounds instantly...good, I said..cuz I only gained 17 ) Those were good days!

I got pregnant again 9 month PP after that and found it much harder to workout and walk, what not w/ a 9 month old, 21 month old, and 3 yr old. Way hard. So I kinda gave up. Not sure how much I gained.

After that I just got caught up in all things mama and homeschooling, going to co op preschool, etc. I stopped trying and I have gained a lot as of late.

We are pregnant again (for the last time ) and I am SO tired, no energy after taking care of my babes...and it's hard.

Well...that's me and I hope to workout more w/ this pregnancy, like walk more and do some yoga, etc. I really appreciate this thread and look forward to learning and getting to know you all
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