2008! Plus-sized and Pregnant Tribe! - Page 4

[Jennisee]

I love that picture, Sonja! It's so serene.

[LoobyLoo]

Originally Posted by Jennisee

Nearly every appointment, I've heard the words "big baby," even though my PCOS is mild

Eek! Does PCOS put you at risk of big babies?! I know there's some issue or other as I have chronic PCOS (reason for 9 years infertility I mentioned earlier) and my mws are insisting on 3 u/s because of my PCOS plus a referral to a consultant in 3rd tri, but nobody seemed terribly worried so I didn't think to educate myself further of what it might actually mean. I might have to go googling...

[butterfly_mommy]

Originally Posted by LoobyLoo

Eek! Does PCOS put you at risk of big babies?! I know there's some issue or other as I have chronic PCOS (reason for 9 years infertility I mentioned earlier) and my mws are insisting on 3 u/s because of my PCOS plus a referral to a consultant in 3rd tri, but nobody seemed terribly worried so I didn't think to educate myself further of what it might actually mean. I might have to go googling...

Well PCOS puts you at risk for developing GD which in turn puts you at risk for having a big baby. However I think with diet and exercise both or these risks are kept to a minimum.

[Jennisee]

Originally Posted by butterfly_mommy

Well PCOS puts you at risk for developing GD which in turn puts you at risk for having a big baby.

: The underlying issue with PCOS is insulin resistance, which is essentially a pre-diabetic state. Pregnancy also can induce some insulin resistance in a normal pregnancy, but in someone who already had insulin resistance before, the combination can cause enough resistance to get bumped up into actual diabetes.

But, as butterfly mommy said, it only increases the risk of GD, it doesn't guarantee it. And even if you do end up with GD, it only increases the risk of a big baby, it doesn't guarantee it. And even if you do have a "big baby," it only increases the risk of shoulder dystocia, it doesn't guarantee it. For me, that's a whole lot of "maybes" to get worked up about when the woman has mild insulin resistance, has no history of blood sugar problems, watches what she eats, exercises, and, in my case, already has a completely uneventful pregnancy and birth under her belt.

LoobyLoo, I would ask your midwives what their reasons are for all the ultrasounds and the consultation referral. It's likely that they're paranoid about GD and a "big baby." While it's something those of us with PCOS need to be mindful of, paranoia about it on the part of our caregivers can lead to pressure for all kinds of interventions that are bad for both us and the baby.

I also wanted to ask, LL, are you on metformin? If so, talk to your providers about staying on it the entire pregnancy. In Europe, women with PCOS stay on it the entire pregnancy because it reduces the risk of GD, but in the US, the FDA has only approved first trimester use so far. I fought and fought with my hospital MW's to stay on the metformin, but ultimately they refused to renew my prescription, and since I can't renew my own prescription, I was SOL. However, I have known some women who were able to get their RE or perinatologist to renew the prescription because they're more up on the current research.

[LoobyLoo]

Jennisee and butterfly_mommy, thanks for the info, I'm already aware of the GD issue and IR so if that's all I've got to worry about, panic over! The main thing was that I'd be having a late u/s in 3rd trimester which'd be after my GD test, so I guess they're just keeping an eye on things. Will dig a little deeper at my next mw visit.

Jennisee, I've been through 8 (count 'em! 8!!) different and unsuccessful treatments for my PCOS, starting with metformin, which gave me the most godawful side effects I've ever had in my life - I could barely make it out of bed to work on some days. I might ask about trying a verrrry small dose but seriously, I had such terrible muscle spasms and bone aches that I felt like an 80 year old most days. Worst drug I've ever been on but I've seen it do great things for so many women so I can't criticise too much!!

[DBZ]

Whenever I give out my birth history, OBs and MWs ask if I had GD. I never have had it, but I'm big and I have big babies (9.2, 9.3, 10.2). I wish people wouldn't stress so much about big babies. They act like our amazing vaginas don't have the ability to push out anything more then 8lbs.

Many OBs and MWs expect us fluffly gals to have big babies cuz a fat mama must equal a fat baby. It's all part of the fat phobia. The truth is our babies will vary in size just like the smaller mamas. And anyone can have a big baby and they get birthed just as well as a 7 lber. Although they are more likely to come naturally without artificial means of induction.

I know the whole big baby birthing issue wasn't being discussed, but I always get worried that moms will let their care providers scare the daylights out of them. Last pregnancy when I was hanging out in the plus size in preggo forum at a mainstream website, I saw sooooooo many mamas buy into their OBs BS about big babies, GD, etc. It was really heart breaking.

[Jennisee]

Originally Posted by LoobyLoo

Jennisee, I've been through 8 (count 'em! 8!!) different and unsuccessful treatments for my PCOS, starting with metformin, which gave me the most godawful side effects I've ever had in my life - I could barely make it out of bed to work on some days. I might ask about trying a verrrry small dose but seriously, I had such terrible muscle spasms and bone aches that I felt like an 80 year old most days. Worst drug I've ever been on but I've seen it do great things for so many women so I can't criticise too much!!

Oh no, if you had such bad side effects, I wouldn't go on it. I just hate it when women who are already on metformin and are doing great on it are forced to go off of it. I had a good friend who hated metformin like you do, but for some reason, my body loves being on it. My energy goes up, my blood pressure goes down, weight melts off, I ovulate regularly, and my progesterone levels are great. I was really ticked about being forced to go off it, LOL.

[Jennisee]

I totally agree, DBZ. I think I lucked out with my OB during my first pregnancy. She asked how big DH and I were as babies, factored in how I had been measuring and then she estimated an 8 1/2 lb baby like it was no big deal. DD was 8 lb 10 oz.

A friend of mine who is plus-sized (about a 16 or 18), but still much smaller than me got so much grief from her OB. He freaked any time she gained a pound, lectured her on "not eating fried chicken" like that's what all big women must be eating, mentioned pre-e every appointment, and induced her because he didn't want her baby to be over 8 lb. My friend was constantly so stressed out and scared, but I couldn't convince her to question her OB or consider switching to mine.

[Kidzaplenty]

After giving my current OB my birth history, she asked the standard, did you have GD and such questions. Then she went on to question if I was sure I had no problem with shoulder dis(whatever you call it) because he was 9lbs 8oz. Of course I told her no, what I did not tell her was that I had a UC. So she assumed that the OB delievering may not have told me. Right!

[clutterbug]

Originally Posted by Red Sonja

I was a bit lighter with DD and this pic isn't a close-up, but here I am at 29 weeks with DD.
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y173/srbug/belly3.jpg

Beautiful picture!

[mchalehm]

I agree about the Metformin thing--I would have liked to stay on it through this pregnancy. I had terrible problems with milk supply last time and I know that Met can sometimes help. I'm planning to ask to resume as soon as the baby's born (Dr. Hale considers it quite safe for breastfeeding).

[broodymama]

Originally Posted by DBZ

Whenever I give out my birth history, OBs and MWs ask if I had GD. I never have had it, but I'm big and I have big babies (9.2, 9.3, 10.2). I wish people wouldn't stress so much about big babies. They act like our amazing vaginas don't have the ability to push out anything more then 8lbs.

I was 9.5 lbs, my brother was almost 10, my dad was 10 lbs, DH and his brothers were over 10 lbs, both of our families just seem to make big babies. Nobody was surprised when DD was 10 lbs, my family was shocked when DS was only 8 lbs. Luckily, my midwife knows our family history and doesn't freak out over the fact that my family grows them big. Yes, I definitely have child-bearing hips (or "definitely an adequate pelvis" as I overheard a doc say 2 weeks ago) and I love them.

[Mamatolea]

Originally Posted by seren

Does anyone else lose weight when pregnant. I have already lost about 12-15 lbs.

YES!

Hi, I am Kara. Mama to Lea(just turned one on the 20th) and preggo with Baby E due 8/08. I was 280 when I got pregnant with Lea, over the course of the pregnancy, I got to 230 and then went to 250. I apparently didn't gain much over the last year because when I went for my first midwife appt, I was 265 and then this appt a month later I was 255...on par to lose a bunch more I assume since I throw up every day but the midwife doesn't have a problem with it, she sayd the baby will get what it needs. She was never concerned about my weight to begin with, which was great. I actually had one doctor tell me I would NEVER get pregnant because I was so fat!!! Funny, it was about a month after that I got pregnant..guess he was so smart..lol..

With my first, I went to my ob because DH and I were TTC and because I had been on Depo-Provera(+100lb weight gain with no periods for the entire 8 yrs I was on it) and it had been 2 yrs and I still didn't have a period. I had been having cramping pains in my abdomen and throwing up uncontrollably and they told me it was a stomach thing and gave me a prescription to induce a period and then they would begin me on Clomid. Amazingly enough, I didn't fill the script, I just didn't feel right. I went to bed and woke up knowing I had to take a test. POSITIVE! So I decided I was SO not going to that ob anymore, they didn't even test me!!! So I started searching for other options and being a needle-phobe, I looked into home birth.

I found an INCREDIBLE midwife at the Birth Cottage and she delivered my daughter on Jan 20, 2007. DH and I knew we wanted the babies to be close in age, so we didn't prevent at all(we were having sex one WEEK to the day after Lea was born! LOL) and thought for sure it was going to take a while after no results for months...then we talked and said we didn't want to be big pregnant thru the summer, so we weren't really trying, but not using any preventative measures either and VOILA! Baby E on the way!

I am very excited to be having another baby, but I am SCARED out of my mind...I have no idea why...I had a pretty easy labor considering, so why am I freaked out by the mere THOUGHT of labor this time??

Anyways, DH and I have been together for 11 yrs, married since 05(High school sweethearts ), we are not religious, slightly crunchy fun loving people with our gorgeous little girl who is SO excited to be a big sister(she kisses my belly every night and every day in the tub when I tell her to kiss Baby E, she is so dang smart! LOL)

We are happy to be completing our family and can't wait to be able to go to all the fun family activities from Disney to camping!

[LoobyLoo]

re: big babies -
I was talking to my mother about the big baby issue and she pointed something out to me: her mother was a tiny wee thing, 4'10" and fine boned, who managed to push out my 12lb+ auntie with no problems at all. Whereas I decided to arrive 4 weeks early at 6lbs and took almost 2 days crawling out of my ample-hipped mother (and pretty much managed to tear her in half, which I hear about every mother's day). So I guess I'll keep trying to keep my blood sugar level and not stress it about it too much either way!

I've popped enough now that I'll look very definitely pregnant if I'm in something that cinches under my boobs, so I might have to start wearing that look into work - I'm not sure how many more meetings I can bear with people obviously trying to figure out in their heads if I'm pregnant or just fatter than usual. It's sweet that people around me have nice enough manners that they don't want to congratulate me without being sure... maybe I need a shirt with "YES I'M PREGNANT" or something written on it?

Mamatolea - sorry you're scared, hope that settles down. This is my first and so far, ignorance is BLISS

[Jennisee]

Originally Posted by mchalehm

I agree about the Metformin thing--I would have liked to stay on it through this pregnancy. I had terrible problems with milk supply last time and I know that Met can sometimes help. I'm planning to ask to resume as soon as the baby's born (Dr. Hale considers it quite safe for breastfeeding).

Oh, that reminds me that I need to talk to my CNM's and RE about having a metformin prescription ready to go when the baby is born. If they don't approve it, I'll have to go grovel to our family doctor. I had a mediocre milk supply with DD, and I'm sure it was related to the PCOS.

[butterfly_mommy]

Originally Posted by LoobyLoo

re: big babies -

I've popped enough now that I'll look very definitely pregnant if I'm in something that cinches under my boobs, so I might have to start wearing that look into work - I'm not sure how many more meetings I can bear with people obviously trying to figure out in their heads if I'm pregnant or just fatter than usual. It's sweet that people around me have nice enough manners that they don't want to congratulate me without being sure... maybe I need a shirt with "YES I'M PREGNANT" or something written on it?

Mamatolea - sorry you're scared, hope that settles down. This is my first and so far, ignorance is BLISS

I wanted to get a t-shirt that said "yes I'm pregnant and Fat"

[Mamatolea]

Originally Posted by LoobyLoo

re: big babies -
I was talking to my mother about the big baby issue and she pointed something out to me: her mother was a tiny wee thing, 4'10" and fine boned, who managed to push out my 12lb+ auntie with no problems at all. Whereas I decided to arrive 4 weeks early at 6lbs and took almost 2 days crawling out of my ample-hipped mother (and pretty much managed to tear her in half, which I hear about every mother's day). So I guess I'll keep trying to keep my blood sugar level and not stress it about it too much either way!

On that note, my midwife says the bigger the baby, the better. She has delivered over 3000 babies now and she says the bigger ones come right out, nowhere to go! The smaller ones have room to wiggle and get stuck and such, so she says give her a bigger baby anyday! LOL

And thanks for the reassurances. It ISN'T terrible, in fact, I spent the first 6 months telling everyone how easy and serene it was, so what is in my head? LOL

[Sheekara]

I actually had one doctor tell me I would NEVER get pregnant because I was so fat!!!

IMO that is horribly cruel!!!
Four years ago we found out on Father's day that we were pregnant. It would be our first and we were both so excited! The next day I had the blood test done at our clinic to confirm it. That Sat. I had what appeared to be a normal period. I was devastated. We had told my parents but no one else. I was sullen and had a hard time talking about it. My inlaws were out of town when it happened. When they returned my husband told them. My MIL's response was, 'Oh, I thought you looked a little peeked'. That was it. A couple of days later my FIL caught DH alone and questioned him. Are we *really* ready for children? (Note: I was 31, DH was 33, and we had been married for 4 years) Then he asked DH about my weight. As far as my FIL knew overweight livestock; hogs, cattle, and sheep, just don't get pregnant. If they do their body absorbs the fetus. And he made it very clear that he didn't think I should or could get pregnant. His comments upset DH but they pretty much destroyed me.

A month later, figuring that we wouldn't be able to get pregnant so quickly we didn't bother with protection. And I again found myself pregnant. I can not tell you how my FIL's comments haunted me. I stressed, and worried, and cried a lot! I questioned myself, was I ready for kids? Could my body really handle a pregnancy or am I so horribly overweight that I will never be able to have children. I was probably just over 300 when this happened. I was about 6 or 7 weeks along when I miscarried in the bathroom of a gas station. We didn't tell ANYONE about the second pregnancy. DH drove me directly to the clinic where our Dr and a student in training diagnosed that it was 'an invalid fetus'. When I asked if I could have a Dr.'s note to excuse me from work that day he treated the request as though it were stupid and unnecessary. I got it anyway, and DH took the day off to be with me. I am convinced that the reason I miscarried was because I was so insanely stressed and worried. I have never been like that before.

People who are so horribly cruel should be taken out and throughly pummeled with an empty Shasta bottle. But that's just me. :P

I gained a lot of weight over the course of the next four years and I struggled with depression and low self esteem. And finally I figured that we were never to have children of our own. Well... Surprise!! We found out on our 8th wedding anniversary that we are expecting again. We waited 3 months to tell anyone. We are planning a home birth with a wonderful midwife who doesn't care one iota what I weigh. As a matter of fact I haven't seen a scale once my entire pregnancy.

As for my inlaws? Well... this pregnancy is pretty much taboo. I have tried to involve them by telling them some of the wonderful things, like when DH first felt the baby move. But they just get this strained smile, sort of nod, and after an appropriate amount of silence they politely change the subject. Don't get me wrong, I love my inlaws and they are good people. They just aren't comfortable having a DIL that is so terribly overweight (amongst some of my other flaws but those are beside the point.) I am working on not caring what they think. DH hasn't cared what they think for years! I hope that by the time I have this baby it will be less of an issue with me. Because I -know- they are not going to like some of our plans on raising this child.... starting with the HB.

Anyway, that was more than I had expected to write.
Congratulations on your pregnancy AND finding a fantastic midwife!!! Oh, and btw, I did loose some weight in the beginning. I could tell just by how my clothes fit and DH said he could see it in my face. How much, I don't know. That has since changed though once I quit throwing up all the time.

-Sheekara (starting my 29th week today! )

[Snookler]

Originally Posted by butterfly_mommy

I wanted to get a t-shirt that said "yes I'm pregnant and Fat"

This is so great. I want one for each day of the week....

[Mamatolea]

Originally Posted by Sheekara

IMO that is horribly cruel!!!
People who are so horribly cruel should be taken out and throughly pummeled with an empty Shasta bottle. But that's just me. :P

I could think of some more appropriate whipping tools than a Shasta bottle, but

And I am SO sorry to hear your inlaws are not supportive. Mine are awesome! My MOTHER on the other hand, could first of all care less that I am pregnant again, when I told her I was throwing up again, she said, "Well, you ASKED for it...and besides, you are so big, you should be happy to lose the weight!"

Talk about motherly love...: But that is for another day..or not..lol

Congrats on your 29th week!! I hope you have a easy, beautiful birth and your GORGEOUS little one awes them all into complete silence for the rest of their lives!