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A breakthrough...

669 views 6 replies 7 participants last post by  courtenay_e 
#1 ·
I was so excited about this and felt so good about it, I wanted to share.


For the past few months of transitioning into a Step-Mama role one of the things I was working on coming to terms with was the fact that I will never be Alex's Mom. No, I never wanted to replace her Mother or anything like that... but it was hard to sort it in my head of being this parental figure, taking care of her, loving her, offering guidance, being someone she looks up to... basically being like a Mom, but knowing that I'm not and never will be... I think it makes it harder sometimes too since Alex is only three... I'm going to be a part of her life for a big majority of her life.

Anyway, a couple months ago she had started calling me HER Jen. Though recently she has been more adamant about it and has recently started introducing me this way to people.
Even though I have met her Mom on several occaisions, Alex likes to announce, "And this is my Jen!"

Yesterday was too cute, as when me and my DP picked her up from daycare, she was so excited to see both of us actually were there, she just kept telling her teacher, "That's my Daddy, and that's my Jen! My Daddy and my Jen came to get me!" It was just one of the most wonderful warm moments, and I was so happy and proud to be her Jen. It was sort of a breakthrough for me... I'm perfectly okay with being her Jen, and I know that my being HER Jen is special to her.


Another breakthrough happened yesterday too. Usually Alex's Mom is a pretty distant with me, and rarely acknowledges my prescence... last night not only did she acknowledge me but we chatted for a good 15 minutes or so about dance class and Alex.
She even made eye contact! It was really a relief to me and I felt really good about it and am hoping this is a good step in the direction of open communication and being able for all of us to talk to one another in a healthy manner.

And bless my DP! After we left I was talking to him about some of the dance conversation and how Alex's Mom is looking at new dance schools for next year... He asked MY opinion on it!! I told him I totally agreed. The class and school she is in now is very disorganized and I agreed fully with his ex on that. It was just really nice to be included on it.


But yeah I just had to share the warm fuzziness from my last night.
 
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#4 ·
Awww, that's so nice! It's great that the two of you are developing a good relationship now. You have many more years of being her Jen!

That's also good that you and Jen's mom are starting to warm up to each other. It is sometimes difficult to maintain a friendly relationship with the ex, but in the end, the child benefits greatly.
 
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