How to help 2yo understand when you're not playing??

[apriljoy]

I need to figure out how to gently cue my 2yo in when I'm being serious about something. I'm not sure why this has become a problem, but no matter how I approach a situation, he thinks it's a game. I try to make a clear distinction between my normal, happy tone and my serious, "listen to me" tone (very matter-of-fact, direct eye contact, get down on his level and hold his hands...). But it has no effect. He doesn't seem to distinguish between the two at all. I know my own parents would have used physical pain (spanking) to get me to understand that they weren't joking around. Of course, I'm looking for a gentle alternative. Has anyone else run into this problem? What did you do?

[Limabean1975]

Is it possible you use the "serious" posture & tone too often? I try to really limit it to safety issues. I pull it out when he's just grabbed a knife off the counter, or has darted away from me on the sidewalk and there's a car coming - the really serious stuff.

[apriljoy]

No, I generally only use it for times when he's either doing something that will cause him to hurt himself or someone else. It really seems that it would catch his attention--and I guess it does, but it has the opposite effect to the one I'm going for.

[Vancouver Mommy]

Yeah, we've noticed this too. My dd is now 2.5 and is starting to catch on to Mommy's "stern" tone. Prior to that she would always laugh when I put on a serious face, which was soooo annoying. Two is still pretty little to understand the cause and effect relationship of discipline, so be patient. It will come.

[LynnS6]

Can you give a specific example of when you're trying to use the 'stern mommy tone'? It might help people get what you're struggling with.

Remember, that kids, like adults smile/laugh to release tension as well as when they find things funny. So, it could be that he's catching your emotional meaning just fine, but hasn't developed the social skills to suppress the laughter. It could also be that he finds the change in tone genuinely funny!

I think it's important to remember that 2 year olds aren't very good verbal learners yet. So, keep it short and simple. Reinforce with physical actions (e.g., taking his hand and demonstrating 'gentle' when he's too rough with the cat).