Okay, sorry ladies I know I do this way too often but I need to just vent a few minutes...
Friggen Im at the end of my rope... sooo stressed! Seriously, Im 38 weeks today.... we are moving in 2 days (on Saturday)... DH has been living in Jacksonville almost a MONTH!!!.... We are BROKE and trying to dig ourselves out of this stupid hole... Thank God my cell gets turned back on tomorrow when DH gets paid since thats going to be our house phone after the move LOL and at this point in the pregnancy, Im gonna need it lol... I've packed almost everything on my own in this house and I still have about 10 boxes to pack before I can start on the garage (mom is gonna help me pack the garage tomorrow.. but I think its mainly so that she can make sure Im not taking her stuff lol)... DH was working on his grandfathers work cube truck thing that we have used before as a moving truck and were going to use this time around too, but the work is too much and dh couldnt get it finished in time... SOooooooo, we must rent a truck because we cant use a trailer since its supposed to rain all weekend long. I got a price quote for a rental and mom OFFERED to pay it and we pay her back at income tax return (we usually get a hefty return) and I thanked her big time. I went to reserve it this morning so we can pick it up tomorrow afternoon and now shes wanting me to ask Grandma to borrow the money from her instead.. WTH? I mean, why offer to help out if you dont really want to? Normally mom is great about helping us out and has helped us out A LOT, A LOT A LOT LOL.. And I totally understand her not wanting to help out this time since she has done so much for us and all and its not her place to pay our way BUT DONT FRIGGEN OFFER!!! So I call DH to ask him to call Grandma and ask her because Grandma LOVES him and will do ANYTHING for him, where she would complain to me lol. Hes busy at work and I just broke down!! Seriously! I was crying soooo hard that I couldnt breathe and dh said he almost hung up and called 911 to come to the house lol. I just couldnt catch my breath.. Ive reached the end of my rope.. Im maxed out and I cannot handle any more stress.
These poor kids have been dealing with a B*TCH of a mom the past 2 weeks or so and I feel so bad for them. Ive lost my temper way too many times and I hate to admit it. We normally try not to yell or anything and Ive been yelling at the kids nonstop and I even spanked them a few times.. AGHHHHH.. I hate myself for that.. I am totally against spankings but OMG I just cannot take it anymore.. I know they are feeling my stress and all too and thats part of why they are acting out some.. and some of it is just them being themselves and me just being stressed and cant handle the squealing and screaming and running and chaos that I normally can handle and its got me going nuts. I hope they forgive me lol.
On top of all of this, the door we ordered for the house in Jax to be fixed (the tenant broke the backdoor glass) is the wrong size, even though we ordered the right size, so that has to be special ordered again and it will be at least a week or 2 before that is fixed.. which kinda freaks me out with the kids so we are going to section off that side of the house.. which sucks because thats where Nathans room is and the guest bath (the bathroom the kids will be using downstairs) AND the closet with the cloth diapers lol.. Sooo for 2 weeks or so, Ill be climbing over a damn gate anytime I change a diaper or anything.. Thankfully there is our bathroom downstairs that Raymond can go to until that door is fixed.
SOo AGHHHHH its crazy!
Friggen Im at the end of my rope... sooo stressed! Seriously, Im 38 weeks today.... we are moving in 2 days (on Saturday)... DH has been living in Jacksonville almost a MONTH!!!.... We are BROKE and trying to dig ourselves out of this stupid hole... Thank God my cell gets turned back on tomorrow when DH gets paid since thats going to be our house phone after the move LOL and at this point in the pregnancy, Im gonna need it lol... I've packed almost everything on my own in this house and I still have about 10 boxes to pack before I can start on the garage (mom is gonna help me pack the garage tomorrow.. but I think its mainly so that she can make sure Im not taking her stuff lol)... DH was working on his grandfathers work cube truck thing that we have used before as a moving truck and were going to use this time around too, but the work is too much and dh couldnt get it finished in time... SOooooooo, we must rent a truck because we cant use a trailer since its supposed to rain all weekend long. I got a price quote for a rental and mom OFFERED to pay it and we pay her back at income tax return (we usually get a hefty return) and I thanked her big time. I went to reserve it this morning so we can pick it up tomorrow afternoon and now shes wanting me to ask Grandma to borrow the money from her instead.. WTH? I mean, why offer to help out if you dont really want to? Normally mom is great about helping us out and has helped us out A LOT, A LOT A LOT LOL.. And I totally understand her not wanting to help out this time since she has done so much for us and all and its not her place to pay our way BUT DONT FRIGGEN OFFER!!! So I call DH to ask him to call Grandma and ask her because Grandma LOVES him and will do ANYTHING for him, where she would complain to me lol. Hes busy at work and I just broke down!! Seriously! I was crying soooo hard that I couldnt breathe and dh said he almost hung up and called 911 to come to the house lol. I just couldnt catch my breath.. Ive reached the end of my rope.. Im maxed out and I cannot handle any more stress.
These poor kids have been dealing with a B*TCH of a mom the past 2 weeks or so and I feel so bad for them. Ive lost my temper way too many times and I hate to admit it. We normally try not to yell or anything and Ive been yelling at the kids nonstop and I even spanked them a few times.. AGHHHHH.. I hate myself for that.. I am totally against spankings but OMG I just cannot take it anymore.. I know they are feeling my stress and all too and thats part of why they are acting out some.. and some of it is just them being themselves and me just being stressed and cant handle the squealing and screaming and running and chaos that I normally can handle and its got me going nuts. I hope they forgive me lol.
On top of all of this, the door we ordered for the house in Jax to be fixed (the tenant broke the backdoor glass) is the wrong size, even though we ordered the right size, so that has to be special ordered again and it will be at least a week or 2 before that is fixed.. which kinda freaks me out with the kids so we are going to section off that side of the house.. which sucks because thats where Nathans room is and the guest bath (the bathroom the kids will be using downstairs) AND the closet with the cloth diapers lol.. Sooo for 2 weeks or so, Ill be climbing over a damn gate anytime I change a diaper or anything.. Thankfully there is our bathroom downstairs that Raymond can go to until that door is fixed.
SOo AGHHHHH its crazy!
Hang in there.....take it a breath at a time. Keep explaining to your kids that this is such a hard time and that you love them. Can you take a bath? And tell yourself a little time spent on yourself will only make life a little bit easier. I am with you on the being broke part and I know the stress that brings! We just took our house off the market a month ago and boy am I happy about that! So I really feel for you- I cannot even imagine moving being as far along as you are and having to pack everything yourelf and feeling like no one is there to help......Take care of yourself and know we are all hear to listen.
