A good friend of mine just sent me an e-mail. I believe both her kids are up to date on their vaccines at this point, but because she has been learning more about the risks associated with the vaccines, she was not planning on giving either of her dd's the flu shot this year and has become more hesitant in general of blindly accepting whatever the all-wise dr says. She was HIGHLY pressured into allowing both kids to be given the flu vaccine.
I'm wondering what your thoughts are of her experience. Does she have any recourse? The way the doctor strong-armed her into giving both kids the vaccines seems kind of unethical.
Here's what happened:
K took her girl's, C and A to the doctor for C's 4 year check up. K had called them previously and told them she did not want the flu shot. In person, when the nurse came in, she again said she did not want the flu shot. The nurse gave her a smile and said something like, "Oh, you haven't talked to the doctor yet... you'll get one!" The pediatrician came in and said something like "Oh no way, you can't do that to your kids. You have no idea how sick they can get; I do!" K still was saying no, quite seriously.
The doctor then, checked C out, got her vision and hearing check up to date, and then said, "I'll be right back." She came back with a flu mist, uncapped it, and just walked up to A, and K said, "Whoa . . . I don't want that." She glared at K, and said, "And I don't want you bringing your flu-sick kids in here while you pull your hair out." K said, "I don't think it is necessary; the season is almost over, and I don't like the components of the vaccine." She said, "This is perfectly fine, and the season has barely begun. You are risking your children's health." She went to administer it, and K said, "_Can't_ I say "no!" She said, "Trust me, you don't want to. Really. It's a bad decision." And in the pressure, worry, doubt, exhaustion, and lack of facts before my friend at the moment, she said, "Oh, whatever." And her kids were vaccinated. She broke into tears as soon as she got to the car.
My friend is pretty mad at them, and so mad at herself for giving into the (completely inappropriate, but nonetheless strong) pressure at the moment when her "hot button" was being hit, i.e. "You'd be a bad mom not to do this." And now she feel like a bad mom anyway .
K says for obvious reasons, that is her last visit to the office. She's ticked at herself for being pushed around, and at them for not respecting her several "no's". She is mad because she totally did not want the vaccine, but just gave in a moment of great pressure and panic. And also she's mad because my greatest temptation to get the flu shot was before the holidays, and they are over.
I'm wondering what your thoughts are of her experience. Does she have any recourse? The way the doctor strong-armed her into giving both kids the vaccines seems kind of unethical.
Here's what happened:
K took her girl's, C and A to the doctor for C's 4 year check up. K had called them previously and told them she did not want the flu shot. In person, when the nurse came in, she again said she did not want the flu shot. The nurse gave her a smile and said something like, "Oh, you haven't talked to the doctor yet... you'll get one!" The pediatrician came in and said something like "Oh no way, you can't do that to your kids. You have no idea how sick they can get; I do!" K still was saying no, quite seriously.
The doctor then, checked C out, got her vision and hearing check up to date, and then said, "I'll be right back." She came back with a flu mist, uncapped it, and just walked up to A, and K said, "Whoa . . . I don't want that." She glared at K, and said, "And I don't want you bringing your flu-sick kids in here while you pull your hair out." K said, "I don't think it is necessary; the season is almost over, and I don't like the components of the vaccine." She said, "This is perfectly fine, and the season has barely begun. You are risking your children's health." She went to administer it, and K said, "_Can't_ I say "no!" She said, "Trust me, you don't want to. Really. It's a bad decision." And in the pressure, worry, doubt, exhaustion, and lack of facts before my friend at the moment, she said, "Oh, whatever." And her kids were vaccinated. She broke into tears as soon as she got to the car.
My friend is pretty mad at them, and so mad at herself for giving into the (completely inappropriate, but nonetheless strong) pressure at the moment when her "hot button" was being hit, i.e. "You'd be a bad mom not to do this." And now she feel like a bad mom anyway .
K says for obvious reasons, that is her last visit to the office. She's ticked at herself for being pushed around, and at them for not respecting her several "no's". She is mad because she totally did not want the vaccine, but just gave in a moment of great pressure and panic. And also she's mad because my greatest temptation to get the flu shot was before the holidays, and they are over.
back before I knew I had a choice.
:
: Similarly, there's really no recourse for her, b/c she did ultimately accept the vax for both kids. Also, she has no concrete proof that she ever refused--or tried to. It'd be her word against the nurse's and/or doc's. It's unfortunate, but that seems to be how it is. Your friend needs to work on her confidence and not worrying/caring so much about what others--esp. those in authority, even if it's just perceived authority--think of her parenting choices. Easier said than done, but that will be her best weapon. 
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