OMG I slapped the baby!

[JoyNChrist]

I feel so bad right now, I just need to talk to someone.

DS is 10 months old, and we're still nursing. He has 6 teeth, and he went through a pretty heavy biting phase a couple months ago. But I would just unlatch him when he bit, tell him "no" very sternly, and sit him on the floor to end the nursing session. It seemed to work pretty quickly.

Tonight he was tired and fussy, and I tried to nurse him to put him to sleep (our normal routine...he night-weaned last month and sleeps all night in his crib now, but we still nurse & rock to sleep). He was trying to get down to play on the floor, but I knew he was tired and needed to go to sleep, so I kept offering the breast. All of a sudden, he opened his mouth like he was going to latch, and then bit down on my nipple as hard as he could! It hurt SO bad. But what's worse...

I slapped him. Right on the leg. Not terribly hard, but it made a decent "pop!". I didn't even think about it. It was just a knee-jerk reaction.

Of course his little bottom lip stuck out and started trembling and then he started wailing. He reached for DH, who had to give him a bottle to get him to go to sleep.

I cannot believe I slapped my 10 month old baby. I feel so terrible. So not only is my nipple hurting (it hurt so bad y'all - I looked after DS went to sleep, and it was bleeding ). I'm horribly upset that I tramautized my baby.

:

[nathansmum]

Awww poor mumma and bubba!

I'm guessing him biting you was his way of disagreeing with you - I learnt too not to over-offer a baby the breast when they were clearly letting me know it was not wanted. Ouch!

I'd have a think about how you might deal with the situation next time if it were (and likely will) happen so you have some strategies to work with. I'd probably let him have a little more crawl around (5 minutes is not likely to make a difference to his tiredness) and then try again when he's out of the mindset to do something else.

[moondiapers]

Isn't it awful how ingrained in us this response is? I've done it too, not when they were babies, but as they got older. If I was preoccupied or super busy with something else and multitasking.....I wasn't fully present KWIM? Luckily it only happened a couple of times before I figured out what worked for me to avoid it, and it wasn't hard enough to cause physical pain.

[ruhbehka]

I nearly did the same when my toddler bit my breast! I was really struggling not to, it was just that strong an impulse of "Get him off me!!!"

[Super Pickle]

I did that once in the middle of the night...I was asleep, DS bit my breast, and automatically I swatted out. Yeah, I felt bad, but DS was okay, and the important thing to realize is that you did not do this on purpose as a way to "teach your child a lesson" or whatever....you had a reflex response to sharp pain, like swatting at a bee that has just stung you. So don't beat yourself up. It was an accident, it wasn't a calculated attempt to beat your child into submission.

[prettypixels]

Give yourself a break mama! It was just a reaction to being bitten like that. I know there are times when my baby bites me and I feel like I'm going to throw her across the room! It is just awful being bitten there. Your little guy is fine, don't feel so badly!

[sapientia]

*raises hand reluctantly* I did the automatic swat thing with my oldest, too-completely knee-jerk and without thinking. I felt horrible. She was a toddler then. She was mortified and so was I. She really bit me hard, I can tell you that-I thought she drew blood!

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

Originally Posted by Super Pickle

I did that once in the middle of the night...I was asleep, DS bit my breast, and automatically I swatted out. Yeah, I felt bad, but DS was okay, and the important thing to realize is that you did not do this on purpose as a way to "teach your child a lesson" or whatever....you had a reflex response to sharp pain, like swatting at a bee that has just stung you. So don't beat yourself up. It was an accident, it wasn't a calculated attempt to beat your child into submission.

I totally agree! I did the same thing the first time DD bit me-- and she was only 6 mos old. I felt really bad about it, and that experience is what made me start questioning spanking generally. It upset me that my immediate response was to slap her, and I did not want that to become a habit.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one!
Bethany

[debbieh]

First of all, I sympathize with you about your pain. My ds (who is now gonna be 30 this year!) bit me when he was 7 mo. old...hard! It bled, I hurt and it got infected. So I had to take an antibiotic. I agree with pps, don't beat yourself up. You didn't slap him in anger, to "teach a lesson" or dicipline him...but as a reaction to pain. I'm betting the next time he bites, you'll remember how bad you feel and won't do it again.

[Blu Razzberri]

Most of us have a story like this. Whether it's hitting or swearing or yelling. Making a consious effort not to react harshly does not mean we're perfect. We are human, we make mistakes. Next time, you'll try just that much harder not to react that way; and hopefully, you'll succeed. But if you don't; it doesn't make you a bad mother; just as your DS biting doesn't make him a bad child. DS might be young, but sit him down and talk to him. Say "I shouldn't have hit you, that was wrong and hitting hurts. I'm sorry. Equally, you shouldn't bite, biting hurts too. Lets try not to hurt eachother anymore, ok." He might not fully understand, but he'll understand your sorry emotion; and he'll associate that he should feel sorry for biting (he'll understand biting too). Trust me mama, you didn't traumatize him, he'll be fine.

[kissum]

I did that to my dd when she was about that age, for the same reason. She hurt me, so my automatic reaction was to hurt her back. It's so normal, and you just have to work to not give in to those urges.
We're not perfect. I felt really awful when I slapped my DD, but I'm sure she doesn't remember it. Hugs mama! Don't feel too guilty!

[mamalisa]

I did the same thing when ds was about 6 months old. Dh looked at me like I was a monster. But I think it's just a normal reaction the first time it happens because you just don't see it coming. You hardly expect that sweet little baby to gnaw on you with those razor sharp teeth. But when they do, it's so shocking and it hurts so so bad you instinctivly do the first thing you know will make it stop.

Now that you've been there, you'll be better prepared for next time.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

Make sure you apologize and explain that biting hurts. I know he's young but I do believe they understand a lot. Don't hate yourself too much. He's not going to be traumatized-it's not great, but it's just a gut reaction sometimes I think, and now you know to be on guard for it.

[LynnS6]

The first (and only) time ds bit me, I screamed so loudly that he went on a 5 day nursing strike. (OK, that should have been my 2nd clue that his ability to process sounds is a bit off.... but that's another story.)

I agree with the others -- apologize to your ds, forgive yourself and move on. It was a defensive action, one that you did before you could think because you were in pain. It wasn't a deliberate attempt to teach him not to bite.

[Muminmamman]

BTDT. Ds was really constipated and I think had a belly ache. I offered him the breast and he bit down (I bled...those baby teeth are sharp!) and it seemed like my hand was moving of its own accord. I still beat myself up over that. Like a pp, my son also went on a nursing strike (about 20 hours) afterwards. I think I spent those entire 20 hours apologising to him. It's amazing how much internal work it can be to transcend that instinct.

[cfiddlinmama]

[Kessed]

I smacked DDs hand once. We were lying in bed - and she reached up and twisted my other nipple really hard. It really hurt. Before I knew what I was doing I'd smacked her hand.

Now I remember to be proactive about it and occupy her other hand when she's nursing in bed - so that neither of us will have that opportunity again.

[mack]

My ds didn't wait 'till he had teeth, he bit me so hard he left a blood blister on my boob before he was 48 hours old. He has now bitten me so many times I have lost count, and twice bitten so hard I slapped in pain (I manage to keep it to hollering cusswords most of the time- he thinks it's funny). We tried telling him "no" and putting him down every time he bit, and so far all that has taught him is that a bite is how he says "I'm done nursing now, thanks Mama". He will even, if he has already started to crawl off my lap, turn around and give me a quick nip if he forgot to do so while still nursing. My mother says this is proof that the curse "I hope you have a child just like you" really works. I now make sure I offer him some foods he can really gnaw on a couple times a day, and this has helped.

[dallaschildren]

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[ambersrose]

I think swatting at something that bit us is a natural reaction. We do it when a bug bites us and it is done without thought. Being a mindful mother takes practice for most of us and like said in many of the previous posts, it was a mistake and we learn from mistakes so dont beat yourself up momma.