or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Blended and Step Family Parenting › Help - Sensitive Issue
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Help - Sensitive Issue - Page 4

post #61 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by arismama! View Post
yeah, this in general is one of the sad realities i am discovering about parents who have legally divorced. i was never married to my sons dad so we just worked things out on our own. there was some fighting but basically we had the same goal in mind- to make life liveable and ok for everyone involved.

however with my husband who went through an actual divorce court is constantly a threat from his ex regarding any issue of the day its "or ill send you to court". which i find almost funny because like you said court is mighty pricey and traumatic to everone, like why would you want to go to court? its not some quick and easy answer to anything.
And I know many, many, many, custodial parents (mothers) who are constantly threatened by the absent, uninvolved, "fathers" of their children that they will take them to court if they ask for cs, or attempt to raise cs,or just because they feel like it, etc, etc. It goes both ways.
post #62 of 67
I'm the first to admit that DSD's mom irritates me just because. I don't always have a valid reason and I'm pretty biased so the stuff she does seems wayyy extreme to me. However, no parent is perfect and we all make mistakes. That being said, I've found that sometimes it is better to not argue a point with a child. DSD has always had an issue with being made to do something. When it comes to emotions and how she speaks, we give her free reign as long as she is respectful. She and I use to argue about clothes but it turns into a huge control issue. Even 3 year olds want to feel like they are in charge of something. While the mom could have brought the coat with her, I don't think this is one for the record books. If it becomes a repeated issue then obviously something needs to be said.

Also, It would be nice if we could all open up our minds some more. In this day and age there are several types of blended families and people within those families take on so many different roles. Just because a step parent has not given birth to a child does not mean they are lacking, just because a mother has her child only 30% percent of the time does not mean she is lacking. We have full custody and her mother has no rights. I'm here every day. She has only me. It's something you learn in time...I'm sure parenting comes easy to some but I think it's far more realistic to realize that everyone has hurdles no matter what their experience level is or what their relationship to the child is. So, I'm not really preaching because I know the original issue has been made clear about how people were speaking specifically to the OP situation.
post #63 of 67
I don't know anything about the laws in PA, but I know that in MN, 40% parenting time is no different than 12%. The adjustment points are somewhere around <10% and >45% - anything in between is counted as the same. And there is a big difference between 10% and 45%.

And, FWIW, we are at 50% parenting time, providing half of DSD's living expenses plus health insurance and her extracurricular activity *and* DF still pays CS. Don't know if this is how it will be once it goes through the court system, but according to the online calculator, he has to pay.
post #64 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by Earthly_Joys View Post
I'm the first to admit that DSD's mom irritates me just because. I don't always have a valid reason and I'm pretty biased so the stuff she does seems wayyy extreme to me. However, no parent is perfect and we all make mistakes. That being said, I've found that sometimes it is better to not argue a point with a child. DSD has always had an issue with being made to do something. When it comes to emotions and how she speaks, we give her free reign as long as she is respectful. She and I use to argue about clothes but it turns into a huge control issue. Even 3 year olds want to feel like they are in charge of something. While the mom could have brought the coat with her, I don't think this is one for the record books. If it becomes a repeated issue then obviously something needs to be said.

Also, It would be nice if we could all open up our minds some more. In this day and age there are several types of blended families and people within those families take on so many different roles. Just because a step parent has not given birth to a child does not mean they are lacking, just because a mother has her child only 30% percent of the time does not mean she is lacking. We have full custody and her mother has no rights. I'm here every day. She has only me. It's something you learn in time...I'm sure parenting comes easy to some but I think it's far more realistic to realize that everyone has hurdles no matter what their experience level is or what their relationship to the child is. So, I'm not really preaching because I know the original issue has been made clear about how people were speaking specifically to the OP situation.
:
post #65 of 67

Please don't misread my posts

Gosh, I never said call CPS over the coat! I said call them over the deplorable conditions in the house! It is called neglect and it is a form of abuse. No one has to know it is you that called. As far as the coat goes, keeping one at daycare sounds like the right approach. Also, long pants and a sweater may be a good idea too. I teach in daycares and you would be surprised how many kids come on freezing days with sandals, shorts and a sleeveless top. One little girl came on a very cold day wearing nothing but a swimsuit and a short skirt and flip flops.
post #66 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by angilyn View Post
Gosh, I never said call CPS over the coat! I said call them over the deplorable conditions in the house! It is called neglect and it is a form of abuse. No one has to know it is you that called. As far as the coat goes, keeping one at daycare sounds like the right approach. Also, long pants and a sweater may be a good idea too. I teach in daycares and you would be surprised how many kids come on freezing days with sandals, shorts and a sleeveless top. One little girl came on a very cold day wearing nothing but a swimsuit and a short skirt and flip flops.
Why would you automatically jump right to calling CPS? This is the mother of her DP's child, perhaps having a conversation before jumping to call CPS. Jumping right to calling CPS is just being vindictive.
post #67 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by cycle View Post
Why would you automatically jump right to calling CPS? This is the mother of her DP's child, perhaps having a conversation before jumping to call CPS. Jumping right to calling CPS is just being vindictive.
:

...fast food bags and a carpet that hasn't been vacuumed? Gosh. There are some days I'd hate for you to see my house.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Blended and Step Family Parenting › Help - Sensitive Issue