yeah, this in general is one of the sad realities i am discovering about parents who have legally divorced. i was never married to my sons dad so we just worked things out on our own. there was some fighting but basically we had the same goal in mind- to make life liveable and ok for everyone involved.
however with my husband who went through an actual divorce court is constantly a threat from his ex regarding any issue of the day its "or ill send you to court". which i find almost funny because like you said court is mighty pricey and traumatic to everone, like why would you want to go to court? its not some quick and easy answer to anything.