I am still convinced that I had a vanishing twin my last pregnancy. I didn't begin prenatal care until 14 weeks, but I palpated my own fundal height and found that I measured 3 to 5 weeks ahead through my first trimester. (I am a vet tech and have experience palpating for a cat's bladder and such, so I'm sure I felt and measured right.) I also felt quickening at 9 weeks on both sides of my uterus. I had a 15 week ultrasound that showed just one baby, and I asked the U/S tech look for a twin, and she was thorough, but found no twin. At this point my fundal height was up to my belly button, and the U/S tech at first kept putting the transducer too low and I had to remind her that the baby was up higher. So after the U/S proved that it was just one baby, I accepted that, (and felt silly about posting about my suspicions in the multiples forum, and sheepishly informed everyone there of my U/S results).
But a couple nights ago I was laying in bed and something clicked. After I gave birth, I had this violent gush of blood spew 12 feet across the room. My CNM said it was not a hemorrhage, but a separation gush of blood pooled behind the placenta. Now I wonder if that was a small empty sac breaking from the vanished twin. It would have looked like blood since the fluid would have mixed with the real separation gush. The rupture would have caused the forceful spray. Does my theory sound plausible?
I wanted to ask my CNM to check the placenta for evidence of a vanished twin, but I felt stupid to ask. She never said anything about it, but do you think maybe she did find the extra placenta and didn't tell me because she thought it would upset me?
I also had a strange and disturbing dream when I was 40 weeks pregnant, that also just clicked when I thought about it more. It was evening, and I was lying in bed talking to DH. He went downstairs for something. It was hot, the windows were open, and there was a thunderstorm. And I think I was standing next to the bed. A ball of light came in through the window. It was a clearish sphere about two feet in diameter with a softball sized brilliant light in the center. I knew it wanted my baby. Part of me knew my baby would be safe and OK being taken by the light, and part of me knew that it would take my baby away from me forever. I screamed at it, "GET OUT!!! HE'S MINE!!!" And the light went back out the window into the storm. I woke up violently, confused, panicked, and with difficulty. In the dream I was standing next to the bed and it was like physically difficult to figure out that I was lying down and facing the other direction. I gasped, my heart racing, and sat up and flung my arms out. I was startled to see that my DH was sound asleep right next to me. It was only then (and my world spun a little) that I realized I must have been dreaming. If he really had been downstairs, I would have run to find him. And in real life, it really was hot, and the windows were open, and there was a thunderstorm outside.
That's OK if you believe that dreams are just dreams, but I think sometimes you can receive messages through dreams. And I wonder if the light was the soul of the lost baby, grieving her (from the beginning, I thought of the twin as a girl) loss, as her brother would be born, she was going to lose connection with him (in the in-between world of the womb, they were still together).
Which reminds me, my son's birth was complicated and freaked out the midwife a little. When all was said and done, she said, almost with a tear in her eye, "Someone is looking out for this guy." I don't want to bore anyone with details, but some really bad things almost happened.
But a couple nights ago I was laying in bed and something clicked. After I gave birth, I had this violent gush of blood spew 12 feet across the room. My CNM said it was not a hemorrhage, but a separation gush of blood pooled behind the placenta. Now I wonder if that was a small empty sac breaking from the vanished twin. It would have looked like blood since the fluid would have mixed with the real separation gush. The rupture would have caused the forceful spray. Does my theory sound plausible?
I wanted to ask my CNM to check the placenta for evidence of a vanished twin, but I felt stupid to ask. She never said anything about it, but do you think maybe she did find the extra placenta and didn't tell me because she thought it would upset me?
I also had a strange and disturbing dream when I was 40 weeks pregnant, that also just clicked when I thought about it more. It was evening, and I was lying in bed talking to DH. He went downstairs for something. It was hot, the windows were open, and there was a thunderstorm. And I think I was standing next to the bed. A ball of light came in through the window. It was a clearish sphere about two feet in diameter with a softball sized brilliant light in the center. I knew it wanted my baby. Part of me knew my baby would be safe and OK being taken by the light, and part of me knew that it would take my baby away from me forever. I screamed at it, "GET OUT!!! HE'S MINE!!!" And the light went back out the window into the storm. I woke up violently, confused, panicked, and with difficulty. In the dream I was standing next to the bed and it was like physically difficult to figure out that I was lying down and facing the other direction. I gasped, my heart racing, and sat up and flung my arms out. I was startled to see that my DH was sound asleep right next to me. It was only then (and my world spun a little) that I realized I must have been dreaming. If he really had been downstairs, I would have run to find him. And in real life, it really was hot, and the windows were open, and there was a thunderstorm outside.
That's OK if you believe that dreams are just dreams, but I think sometimes you can receive messages through dreams. And I wonder if the light was the soul of the lost baby, grieving her (from the beginning, I thought of the twin as a girl) loss, as her brother would be born, she was going to lose connection with him (in the in-between world of the womb, they were still together).
Which reminds me, my son's birth was complicated and freaked out the midwife a little. When all was said and done, she said, almost with a tear in her eye, "Someone is looking out for this guy." I don't want to bore anyone with details, but some really bad things almost happened.
