Article in the Washington Post about the "Meanest Mom in the World"

[verde]

Thought I'd share this with you mamas. Someday we may all face a similar situation.


By Monica Hesse
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, January 11, 2008; Page C01

Yesterday she was the meanest mom on the planet. Today: the coolest.

Jane Hambleton, 48, gained a worshipful parental following when news of a classified ad she'd placed in the Des Moines Register was picked up by the Associated Press. The text of the ad:

"OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet."

Sold! Hambleton, a radio DJ in Fort Dodge, Iowa, received some 70 calls from buyers. And other parents. And emergency room workers. And school counselors. And scores of others wanting to congratulate her for being so Dirty Harry awesome.

"I don't think you can print" what Steven, 19, said to his mom, she told the Register. But then they became instantly famous, and by yesterday morning they were appearing on "Good Morning America," which got the television booking wars started, as ABC producer Chad Parks recounted it. "Today" wanted them.

The Hambletons were about to book that when folks from "Oprah Winfrey" called, demanding exclusivity, so the family leaned toward that, mom being a huge Oprah fan. But then Ellen DeGeneres called.

And while Mom likes Oprah, Steven loves Ellen, and Mom was inclined to give this one to her son, considering she had taken away his car and all.

They were going back to Iowa to sort it all out, and were unreachable yesterday.

All of which proved one thing: America needed this. Oh boy, did we need this kind of tough love, the kind that says, "I am not your friend. I am your mother. Eat your peas. Now."

The kind that says, "I don't care what the other mothers are doing. I am not buying a pony keg for your party, even if I take away the keys to make sure your friends don't drive home plastered."

For the record, Steven, a student at Briar Cliff University in Sioux City, told his mother that the alcohol in the car did not belong to him, but to a friend. For the record, Hambleton believed him. Nonetheless, it violated one of the two rules she'd set forth when she bought him the car at Thanksgiving: No Booze, and Keep It Locked.

Steven was originally "very, very unhappy," the Register reported, but he and mom seem to have patched things up. It's amazing what a free trip to New York can do.

As for the car, it was purchased by another couple in Iowa who planned to give it to their 19-year-old son. Hambleton told the Register: "I told the kid when they were leaving, 'Do not have any booze in that car. And if you do, don't hide it under the front seat.' "

[Fuamami]

I saw this on CNN. I sure hope that by the time my kids are 19, I won't be in charge of whether or not they have alcohol in their car! Am I wrong to hope for that?

[allgirls]

he's 19? He's old enough to die for his country, vote, get married and his mom did this....wow!

Now taking the car back if not having alcohol in it was a condition of her giving it to him, absolutely..the ad though...way over the top.

He's 19...wow..I am thinking of my dd's boyfriend who turned 19 in December..I can't imagine his parents taking an ad out like that. But he seems so grown up at 19, works full time etc.

Seriously...at 19...he should be self-regulating don't you think?

and alcohol and driving are really serious things in my mind..yet I still think it was a bit much..oh well, who knows what the history is there. But if she's been tough-lovin' him all along and he's 19 and he's still hiding booze in the car..I am not so sure that's proof it's working. LOL

Something about this doesn't sit right with me. I guess the kids will be ok with it when he gets to meet Ellen. I think if she meant it as a punishment..it's actually kind of backfired. LOL..bet he's having the time of his life!

[Fuamami]

Originally Posted by allgirls

Seriously...at 19...he should be self-regulating don't you think?

Yep! Glad to have someone with older kids agree with me!

[northwoods1995]

My kids are still young but I have 12 nieces and nephews (11 are teenagers or into their early 20's).

I don't have any problem with the mother selling the car but I think the ad was obnoxious and attention-seeking and I don't support that part of what she did at all.

However, the subject of drinking and driving is especially emotional for me as I've lost a loved one, a family friend, and a close friend of mine b/c of drunken driving.

[guestmama9944]

Originally Posted by verde

Oh boy, did we need this kind of tough love, the kind that says, "I am not your friend. I am your mother. Eat your peas. Now."

I'm still learning about GD but this doesn't give me the warm-fuzzies.

[philomom]

I disagree, she bought him the car to begin with and laid down the rules. He broke the rules, he does not deserve the free car.

[LilyGrace]

Originally Posted by philomom

I disagree, she bought him the car to begin with and laid down the rules. He broke the rules, he does not deserve the free car.

My 8yo and I watched the clip together, and first words out of his mouth were "she's not mean! That was a serious rule he broke!"

Given, this is the child of a man who has had a DUI and got to see all the lovely things that came about. An 18yo, which this boy was when it happened, doesn't always look farther than the end of his nose. Mom bought the car, mom's name was probably still on the car, and if this kept her son out of a lot more serious trouble, well, I can't fault her for it. I don't know if I would have reacted the same way or bit my lip and said nothing, but having the money and my child's life invested in such a weighty decision, I probably would not have said nothing. There were two rules of use, both very reasonable, and the son neglected BOTH rules.

If it were my child, he could earn the money for his own car so he could appreciate it better and be more responsible. I don't believe in handing everything to kids just because that lack of investment often means lack of care.

[BiscuitBaby]

If the car is in her name and he was in an accident because of a DUI, could she be financially responsible? Nobody would come after the kid, but I am sure they would sue the parents.

I see it as protecting themselves financially and also protecting others from her child's irresponsible behaivor. If he wants to drink and drive, not follow house rules, then he should be living on his own.

Do you know how many times cops find drugs, alcohol or weapons in a car and people say it isn't theirs? Probably the same in this stuation. If it wasn't his alcohol, he should have told his friend to get rid of it so his parents would not think it was his.

I know people under 21 drink, but drinking and driving can kill someone, if not whole families on the road. I think more parents should be strict with their children in a situation like this, but without the silly ad and media circus. You broke the rules, you can't be trusted, the car is gone. Pretty simple. She is not withholding basic necessities like food, water, shelter. A car is a privelidge and can be taken away.

[allgirls]

Originally Posted by philomom

I disagree, she bought him the car to begin with and laid down the rules. He broke the rules, he does not deserve the free car.

I agree with this. I disagree with the ad.

[shllywlly]

My first thought was the son put the ad out. Maybe that was also part of the punishment; he had to sell the car.

I totally agree with what she did. My kids are gonna have to work to at least pay for part of their car. Our plan is to match what they earn. However, drinking and driving is not an option. My DH's grandmother was killed by a drunk driver and a very close family of mine was killed by a drunk driver. That is an absolute unacceptable decision. There is to be no alcohol in any car regardless of who is driving and who paid for it.

I don't think that disregards GD at all. The rules were established when he got the car, (a privilege), when he broke the rules, then he loses the car. It's not unnecessary punishment. I think it fit the crime so to speak.

[thismama]

Originally Posted by philomom

I disagree, she bought him the car to begin with and laid down the rules. He broke the rules, he does not deserve the free car.

ITA. Love the ad, love the parenting style.

[Dragonfly]

Originally Posted by philomom

I disagree, she bought him the car to begin with and laid down the rules. He broke the rules, he does not deserve the free car.

: He was free to reject the car if he didn't like the guidelines, right? Part of being a responsible adult is deciding what you can live with in a deal and accepting or not accordingly.

I don't like the ad because it kind of stinks of shaming. It's apparently good marketing, though.

[MrsBear]

For what it's worth, I would have done the same. While I don't agree with our nation's stance on drinking ages, I am 100% opposed to drinking while driving. I did rescue work in college and saw the consequences of drunken driving too often to let my child take such a stupid risk. It's bad enough others are driving drunk! But, I think the intent to shame and humiliate behind the ad was damaging to that relationship.

[Susan Kunkel]

Selling the car was a good idea. I would not do the talk shows
Susan

[lovesdaffodils]

I'm fine with her selling the car if that was the agreement when she bought the car for her son. The ad and the publicity seem like purposely shaming him though, and I'm not cool with that.

[thismama]

Originally Posted by Susan Kunkel

Selling the car was a good idea. I would not do the talk shows
Susan

It sounds like the kiddo is into it. He is angling for Ellen.

[ananas]

Originally Posted by philomom

I disagree, she bought him the car to begin with and laid down the rules. He broke the rules, he does not deserve the free car.

Yup, exactly.

Originally Posted by thismama

ITA. Love the ad, love the parenting style.

Yup to this, too.

[rainbringer]

I can understand why the mom would sell the car. The ad seems insulting, but it's hard to know, maybe the son thought it was funny too.

I didn't like the Washington Post article and the idea that what the mom did was wonderful, and all parents should be more like that.

[sunnmama]

I think it is impossible to judge this ad from the outside. To me, it looks like public humiliation; I would have wanted to DIE if my parents ran an ad like that! But this son seems to be handling it well (although he was understandably upset about losing his car). I imagine they have a pretty solid relationship, and this kind of humor is common and appreciated in their home.