Article in the Washington Post about the "Meanest Mom in the World" - Page 4

[Fuamami]

Originally Posted by LilyGrace

The second is not a lesson I would want anyone to have to have.

You talk about getting a DUI - take that one step further and talk about killing another person because he was too drunk to drive. Is that a good lesson? Is it worth the next umpteen years of jail, heartache, and lost lives because of not having it stopped before it started? All because of being only 18 and not really thinking things all the way through. After all, at 18 a person is invincible. They know everything, nothing can hurt them.

I mean, if something as serious and life-changing as a DUI could be prevented, why, as a parent, wouldn't you do what you can to prevent it? In this case, it meant setting ground rules AND then when it didn't work, removing the temptation for such.


I have had two friends killed by drunk drivers and I married/divorced a recovering alcoholic. I cannot believe that there are people that think that someone getting a DUI is a good alternative to PREVENTIVE MEASURES.

Well, yeah, but you can't really remove the temptation, unless you're going to lock him in the basement or something. There's still a good chance that he could drive his friend's car or walk to a party and get drunk. I have had friends killed by drunk drivers, too, and I've had friends who were the drunk drivers killing people. I agree it's a horrible thing to happen. My point is that if you continue to baby a 19 year old by taking away his car or setting rules for his car or searching his car for liquor or whatever, your 19 year old will continue to act like a child. They will want to assert their independence and test their boundaries, and differentiate themselves from their parents and they might do stupid, stupid sh*t in the process. But a 19 year old who is responsible for themselves is hopefully less likely to do those things. Right? I don't know, I have to admit I did do some stupid things when I was 19, but I also dealt with the consequences all by myself, and I learned from them pretty quickly, luckily.

[LilyGrace]

Originally Posted by natensarah

Well, yeah, but you can't really remove the temptation, unless you're going to lock him in the basement or something. There's still a good chance that he could drive his friend's car or walk to a party and get drunk. I have had friends killed by drunk drivers, too, and I've had friends who were the drunk drivers killing people. I agree it's a horrible thing to happen. My point is that if you continue to baby a 19 year old by taking away his car or setting rules for his car or searching his car for liquor or whatever, your 19 year old will continue to act like a child. They will want to assert their independence and test their boundaries, and differentiate themselves from their parents and they might do stupid, stupid sh*t in the process. But a 19 year old who is responsible for themselves is hopefully less likely to do those things. Right? I don't know, I have to admit I did do some stupid things when I was 19, but I also dealt with the consequences all by myself, and I learned from them pretty quickly, luckily.

And how do you know this person wasn't just on an extended parenting plan? Not everyone gets things at the same time, therefore not all parents should treat their children the same. The boy was 18 when this happened, according to both he and his mother on the news program I watched, and a young 18 at that. I don't think a first car coming with strings is an unreasonable act, especially when the mother has to lay down rules like she did. It was a learning moment.

He's 19 now, and I'm sure he learned something from it without needing to kill someone in the process, as you seem to think would have been a viable option in "teaching him a lesson".

[Elvirnon]

Originally Posted by natensarah

My point is that if you continue to baby a 19 year old by taking away his car or setting rules for his car or searching his car for liquor or whatever, your 19 year old will continue to act like a child.

I would agree with you if it were actually his car, one that he bought and insured with his own money, for which he alone is legally responsible. But I think that in this case, where the "babying" includes giving him the use of a car that he doesn't own, it's reasonable to set and enforce rules. If this 19 year old is bent on asserting his independence, he can get himself a job that enables him to pay his own transportation expenses.

[BettyOkinoRulz]

I agree with her taking the car. I disagree with the ad. Had that been me, I would have sued her and the newspaper for violating my privacy. Since son is not a public figure they had no right to run that ad. Then I'd take the money, move out of my mom's house, and buy my own car.

[pigpokey]

Originally Posted by Jeanne D'Arc

I am interested that you mentioned the US. Why are kids in the
US so slow to mature?

I'm seeing a huge disparity between the maturity of modern teens
and teens of decades, and centuries past. It bothers me allot.

Because they are imprisoned in school, not allowed to do meaningful work, not allowed to play outside and have adventures, and told they are children.

I am not going to be "disciplining" my 19 year old son. I respect him more at 2 than most people seem to respect their kids at 10.

Of course, hindsight is 20/20; predictions, not so good.

[Dragonfly]

Originally Posted by pigpokey

Because they are imprisoned in school,

Wow. Okay.

[monkey's mom]

Eeeek.

I'm skeptical of the whole "it's just in good fun" and "this is a family who is fun-loving and teasing" argument. I think for that dynamic to really work (in a non-hurtful way), there must be a level of trust and respect in a family. It seems clear that the trust isn't there in this case. And the ad sounds very disrespectful to me.

I'm also annoyed by the "this is what the country needs" mentality. Sigh. Isn't this what "we" have been doing. Aren't punitive and spanking disciplines pretty much the norm now and for the past few generations? If that's worked so well, then how are we now at this hand-wringing "these kids today" stage?

I just think there are so many other respectful and productive ways that a parent could handle a situation where alcohol is found in a teen's car. To do what these folks did seems so out there to me. I certainly don't think it's doing positive things for the family's relationships and I doubt it's sending the message to this young man that they intend.