Is my 11 mos normal?

[maighdhlin]

DD is 11 mos. For the past few months she's been progessively getting more and more difficult, clingy and whiney. She has complete melt downs in the car seat - to the point she bucks, flails and screams as I try to get her in it. You should see the looks I get from passer-bys. BY the time I get her home, she's usually in such hysterics that she can't nurse - she's so upset and her nose is so stuffed up from crying. She does the same thing with her highchair, so I usually feed her from my lap. Although even then, often times she starts bucking and screaming then too. I can't ever put her down, even to shower or brush my teeth. She tries to crawl in the shower with me, so we both end up soaked, and me only half rinsed. She hates to be dressed or have her diaper changed just as much. I'm really patient with her, and I do my best to get her calmed down when this occurs, but since I work, I feel like the only time I do get to spend with her involves hysterics - whether it's getting her dressed in the morning or undressed at night, or whether it's getting her in the car to take her to DC. Have I somehow done something wrong to cause her to act this way? Or do all kids go through this phase?

[mamarosa]

Could definately be normal
Babies often get really clingy and easily upset when they are teething, going through a developmental transition, etc. It is possible that a food or other alergy could be agrivating her more than 'normal'. That might be something to look into.
The best thing I can advise is to have patience with her (not always easy, I know). Just be there for her when she is ready to calm down. Try not to force her to do anything unless it is totally necessary. Plan your day around her 'best' times, if they are predictable. Maybe even leave her at home to go shoping, if you can.
You could try 'rescue remedy', a flower remedy that helps one deal with stress and anxiety - for you I mean, not her. Chances are time will help her grow to a new (and differently challenging) stage.

GoodLuck!

[padomi]

I feel your pain! I just posted a very similar msg under toddlers. What you posted sounds EXACLY like my dd. I usually get to shower about every third day - and only when my dh goes into work late so I can shower. She SCREAMS the entire time I'm using the bathroom. I can't do ANYTHING all day but hold her, walk her around the house. Naps have gone out the window. Bedtime is a nightmare. I'M SO EXHAUSTED!!!!! I feel your pain!!! You're not alone!!!

[TieDyeMom]

My 11 mo dd hasn't gone to the extreme, but she has definately gotten more clingy when we are out and about and she also hates having her diaper changed (it took me half an hour to calm her this morning after changing it). I contribute it to the fact that she has started cruising. It really seemed to start when we bought her a walker. She loves it but I believe the newfound freedom makes her also want the safety of mama that much more. I believe it's a phase. Good luck and hang in there.

[maighdhlin]

Thanks for all your replies. I was actually surfing another set of boards yesterday on babycenter.com and came across a discussion group entitled High Needs. I snooped around for awhile and found dozens of women who had posted stories exactly like mine. In fact one posting had a link to Dr. Sears' website and Dr. Jay Gordon's websites each with descriptions of "high needs" children that fit my DD exactly.

I feel much better knowing that this isn't just us and I haven't done anything to cause this. AP is a little foreign to my friends and family so I know a lot of them are just waiting for something to "go wrong" so they can say, "see, you've spoiled her" or "see, you shouldn't do this co-sleeping / breastfeeding / whatever thing".

I'm also going to check out Dr. Sears' book the Fussy Baby (or something like that) to see how to best handle this. Although I do my best to completely design our days around her needs and desires, maybe I'm still doing things that aggravate her temperment.

So anyway, thanks for your comforting words. It's nice to know we're not alone!

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