AF is back after 14 months...sad about no more babies

[Phoebe]

That sentence doesn't make sense does it!? I have a 3.5yr old and a 14 month old. Just got AF back this morning. DH doesn't want any more kids. I can see his logic. But it is very sad for me to think that this is it. The next big step in my fertility is menapause. I was hoping that there might be an accidental pregnancy before my first AF came. I am a very good practicioner of FAM (much sucess avoiding and concieving) so there are no accidents once AF shows up and I can start charting again. DH knows I know what I'm doing and I could never contrive an accident...can you tell I've thought about it?! That is very dishonest and hurtful, would never consider it.
Nevertheless, I am here, feeling like I have reached my peak at 33 and I have the rest of my life for the downhill slide. Bearing, nursing and caring for children has been the top of the mountain for me. My last boy was born a VBAC at home. That was a high I won't ever experience again.
I need to express my feelings to my husband without trying to manipulate him into agreeing to another child. Is that a good idea or should I just keep it to myself knowing he doesn't want another one?
DH is 40 and I don't think he wants to be 60 and still have a kid in the house. But once the kids leave, what then? Isn't this the great part of life? Why not make it carry on a little while longer?

So sad, yall.

I know that most of you here are either TTC or TTA so this might not resonate with any of you. Just don't know where else to post this. Just had to get it out.

Thanks for hearing me.

[2crazykids]

I've BTDT, my DH has a vas a year ago and I still keep wishing and hoping for some sort of malfunction to occur and get pg! Never happens...

On the bright side, my kids are great, I'm sending them to a great school next year and I need to make cash to pay their tuition. So my career starts up again and I'm on to another challenging chapter in my life. Babies grow up no matter how many you have...I think raising teens may be even be a 100 times harder than having infants 11 months apart!

So I guess it's all about perspective. But sometimes I do wish I could just go get my repro organs taken out since I don't need my fertility anymore, it's just a nuisance!

[mama to 2 girls]

I really feel for you! I was in your boat until about 3 mos. ago (see siggy!). Dh was DONE but wouldn't go for a vas. and I had wanted to wait until my little one was 18 mos. before I went to go have my tubes tied because she was and still is an avid nurser....Anything can happen! I was charting my c/m and watching for other O signs and one night after our anniversary and one to many glasses of wine, here we are!

To answer your question about whether or not to be honest with dh, I have BTDT and while it felt good to get my feelings out in the open it usually always ended up in an argument. I felt like he wasn't even hearing me out or giving me a chance....we just couldn't meet in the middle, so to speak. It really is hard to deal with a situation like this and unfortunetly either one or the other can't have their way. I REALLY thought that was going to have to be me...but that one night that was AT LEAST 4-5 days BEFORE O it happened that the tables were turned.

I hope you can resolve your issues on this subject, without either of you being too hurt.

[Phoebe]

Originally Posted by mama to 2 girls

I really feel for you! I was in your boat until about 3 mos. ago (see siggy!). Dh was DONE but wouldn't go for a vas. and I had wanted to wait until my little one was 18 mos. before I went to go have my tubes tied because she was and still is an avid nurser....Anything can happen! I was charting my c/m and watching for other O signs and one night after our anniversary and one to many glasses of wine, here we are!

To answer your question about whether or not to be honest with dh, I have BTDT and while it felt good to get my feelings out in the open it usually always ended up in an argument. I felt like he wasn't even hearing me out or giving me a chance....we just couldn't meet in the middle, so to speak. It really is hard to deal with a situation like this and unfortunetly either one or the other can't have their way. I REALLY thought that was going to have to be me...but that one night that was AT LEAST 4-5 days BEFORE O it happened that the tables were turned.

I hope you can resolve your issues on this subject, without either of you being too hurt.

I let dh know over lunch today that AF was back. He said well at least we know you aren't pregnant and that's good. Ugh. Then he said that was a bummer since our opportunities for doin' it were less know due to AF. I said that we'll have to figure something out and that maybe he should go get snipped. He said we'll see. I threw in there that I wasn't ready for something so permanent and he didnt' argue.
I'm not sure that he is dead set against it. We'll see.
I so hope I can have an accident just like yours!
COngrats!

[violet]

I so feel your situation. We have 3 and are planning on a 4th and yet I am already starting to worry about being done. One more time means only one more time and then years of avoiding. Being pregnant/nursing/holding a babe is such a huge part of my identity right now, I don't want to think about the next stage. 2crazykids is right though, around the corner is another great stage of life and I want to be open to the possibilities there too. Good luck on your journey.