My-oh-my...
I have always been fairly open with my kids, on a theoretical level at least, about my bi-ness. We go together to Gay Pride parade each year, and I talk comfortably about gay friends etc. But I have been celibate (and a virtual recluse) since they were old enough to tell if my friendships are romantic or platonic. Because of my kids' special needs, and that my life is just FULL these days, I really had planned to not have a romantic life till the Dumplings are grown, my Mom dies (she lives with me), and I retire.
But the most wonderful woman is courting me. I could easily change my plans, as it were! But I really know that the Dumplings, YoungSon, 11, and BigGirl, 12, would be nasty to any new person in our lives.
YoungSon has Aspergers, and is somewhat lacking in the social graces. He would have a problem with any new person in our lives, and already has his hackles up regarding this woman; I know he senses there is something different - I don't know if it is her or my response that is bothering him. Or maybe it is just that I don't have any other childless friends, and he feels left out. He wouldn't have any problem with the queer part; anyone would get the same response. I think with him, the best choice would be to ignore the romantic aspects as long as possible, and just have her be a "friend". Even if this didn't work forever, he does best with very gradual changes to his life.
BigGirl, on the other hand, is extremely perceptive. She guessed (correctly), that my friend is transsexual, even though she did not know the word for that. She recognizes flirting/courting when she sees it, and is the type of person who would be highly offended at any attempt at subterfuge. She is already at that lovely teenish stage of feeling alienated from me, and a lover would further distance us.
On a rather heavy note, my biggest regret in life is getting married when ElderSon was about this age of the Dumplings now. After many years of having me to himself, sharing was not on his agenda. Long story, but neither he nor I handled it well.
If I were interested in seeing a man, I could give it a try without any major impact on our lives, at least not until it got serious. But if I want to date a woman, even if this doesn't become serious or permanent, it would be necessary to to be more directly out with the Dumplings. This isn't a bad thing, but we have dealt with a lot of changes recently, and a few more are still to come. So it is sort of a rough time. As a side note, I have never dated, but that I moved in (catch the old joke in that?). It is entirely probable that this will become serious, and 3/4 of me wants that to happen. 8 years is long enough to be single.
I have always been fairly open with my kids, on a theoretical level at least, about my bi-ness. We go together to Gay Pride parade each year, and I talk comfortably about gay friends etc. But I have been celibate (and a virtual recluse) since they were old enough to tell if my friendships are romantic or platonic. Because of my kids' special needs, and that my life is just FULL these days, I really had planned to not have a romantic life till the Dumplings are grown, my Mom dies (she lives with me), and I retire.
But the most wonderful woman is courting me. I could easily change my plans, as it were! But I really know that the Dumplings, YoungSon, 11, and BigGirl, 12, would be nasty to any new person in our lives.
YoungSon has Aspergers, and is somewhat lacking in the social graces. He would have a problem with any new person in our lives, and already has his hackles up regarding this woman; I know he senses there is something different - I don't know if it is her or my response that is bothering him. Or maybe it is just that I don't have any other childless friends, and he feels left out. He wouldn't have any problem with the queer part; anyone would get the same response. I think with him, the best choice would be to ignore the romantic aspects as long as possible, and just have her be a "friend". Even if this didn't work forever, he does best with very gradual changes to his life.
BigGirl, on the other hand, is extremely perceptive. She guessed (correctly), that my friend is transsexual, even though she did not know the word for that. She recognizes flirting/courting when she sees it, and is the type of person who would be highly offended at any attempt at subterfuge. She is already at that lovely teenish stage of feeling alienated from me, and a lover would further distance us.
On a rather heavy note, my biggest regret in life is getting married when ElderSon was about this age of the Dumplings now. After many years of having me to himself, sharing was not on his agenda. Long story, but neither he nor I handled it well.
If I were interested in seeing a man, I could give it a try without any major impact on our lives, at least not until it got serious. But if I want to date a woman, even if this doesn't become serious or permanent, it would be necessary to to be more directly out with the Dumplings. This isn't a bad thing, but we have dealt with a lot of changes recently, and a few more are still to come. So it is sort of a rough time. As a side note, I have never dated, but that I moved in (catch the old joke in that?). It is entirely probable that this will become serious, and 3/4 of me wants that to happen. 8 years is long enough to be single.
