Guilt

[ann_of_loxley]

If there is one thing I hate...its guilt!...I hate having it!!!

At the moment I am feeling guilty for wanting another child. I feel guilty because I learned alot with and from my son. The 'mistakes' I made with him will not be made with my second child. I am sure I will make some new mistakes...but thats a different topic! hehe
But they are big things to me. I dont feel I held my son enough for example. I had a carrier and discoverd slings later in his life - but now I know about slings I know I can carry my second child from birth continuously (as I wanted with my son but not knowing about slings and carriers making me feel like my back was going to snap..well...lol). And it just makes me feel guilty. I feel that I wont necessarily love any of my children more than the other - but that I may show more love towards my son now because of the things I didnt do with him or didnt give him at the time.

Has anyone else felt guilt with having more children or the thought of having more children?

[nausicaamom]

I have at times, but I've worked very hard to let it go and repeat the mantra, "When you know better, you do better." For me it was very important to let those feelings go for the most part before having my second since I did not want the main force of the pregnancy to be my second chance at doing everything "right" - that's a terrible burden for a child to bear.

[LolaK]

Maybe you can think about what a gift a sibling is. My husband is always going on and on about that (I am an only so I wouldn't know). Anyway, he feels like his younger brother is the greatest gift in the world despite the fact that they are nothing, and I mean nothing, alike. They get along great and I love my BIL too.

Guilt over doing things "better" the second time around? Do you feel like your son has suffered? What I mean to say is that kids are really resiliant so if you work on being the best mom you can be on any given day your son is going to be fine. Plus the first will have had things the second never ever will, like being an only child for a couple years.