co-sleeping concerns

[YummyYumYumMama]

1st... wonderig if anyones used the snuggle nest and how long it is. m was 21" at her dr appt 1/4.

ok, so. we have a sidecarred crib and i knew m might not use it. she does sometimes but doesnt sleep well in it - thrashes around a lot and moans and groans. we both sleep better when she's on me (tummy to tummy, her head resting on my chest) or next to me (on her side cuddled in my arm). but sometimes i wake up to find her on the bed, on her tummy. when on her tum she tends to put her face into the bed. we have a memory foam mattress and since its so soft i dunno how safe it is...

i dunno, wwyd? i have been cuddling her in my arm while practically in the sidecar but she still wound up in the bed. i'm not sure how concerned i should be about this or what i should do. but i wonder if the snuggle nest might help? also looks like it'd be useful for trips to my folks' house...

[wife&mommy]

DD is 22.5 inches and she fits fine in the snuggle nest with a few inches to spare. But it's made so even if the feet hung off a bit it would be OK. Not sure we will use the snuggle nest too much but hopefully that answers your sizing question.

Does she sleep well on her tummy?

[bluesymama]

Sorry- no advice- but wow- we're in the same boat! I have a memory foam topper on our mattress- and Toren likes to snuggle up super tight with me- but almost always ends up on his tummy- head in my armpit- face smushed into the mattress! That can't be good, right? But every time I turn him over- I wake up to him in the same position! He also won't sleep in the co-sleeper...I bought a snuggle nest and tried that, but he HATES it! Screams anytime I put him in it! : So, now I have an un-used co-sleeper, AND an un-used snuggle nest...*SIGH* Oh- and I could measure it if you want, but my impression is that it is NOT long enough- Toren hangs out the bottom of it when I lay him in it- and I don't think it would work at all for a squirmy baby! (which Toren is- but he's never stayed in the Nest long enough for me to see if he could squirm out of it.) It seems like a very limited use item- awfully small and something babies would grow out of QUICKLY- if they ever use them at all. I don't know if that helps at all- but I'll be lurking to see if you get any answers!

[mama2rey]

Instead of a snuggle nest, we use a Boppy. DS sleeps really well in there-so far.

[YummyYumYumMama]

Originally Posted by wife&mommy

Does she sleep well on her tummy?

yup, fantastically. i'm wondering if i should start laying her on her tummy in her crib? i don't want to be anxious about it but i have had a lot of deaths in my family lately. and while i don't obsess about it, i do get anxious if i'm doing anything that society at large is like "OMG DO THIS AND YOUR BABY WILL DIE," like tummy-sleeping, no matter how much i tell myself that my bro and i slept on our tummies and look at us now.

Originally Posted by bluesymama

Sorry- no advice- but wow- we're in the same boat! I have a memory foam topper on our mattress- and Toren likes to snuggle up super tight with me- but almost always ends up on his tummy- head in my armpit- face smushed into the mattress! That can't be good, right? But every time I turn him over- I wake up to him in the same position! He also won't sleep in the co-sleeper...I bought a snuggle nest and tried that, but he HATES it! Screams anytime I put him in it! : So, now I have an un-used co-sleeper, AND an un-used snuggle nest...*SIGH* Oh- and I could measure it if you want, but my impression is that it is NOT long enough- Toren hangs out the bottom of it when I lay him in it- and I don't think it would work at all for a squirmy baby! (which Toren is- but he's never stayed in the Nest long enough for me to see if he could squirm out of it.) It seems like a very limited use item- awfully small and something babies would grow out of QUICKLY- if they ever use them at all. I don't know if that helps at all- but I'll be lurking to see if you get any answers!

man... i dunno if i should get it or not. maybe i can try it and return it if it doesn't work? but yeah, face down in the mattress seems like it CAN'T be good!

Originally Posted by expectantmami

Instead of a snuggle nest, we use a Boppy. DS sleeps really well in there-so far.

omg, maya sleeps GREAT in her boppy, but i haven't used it in the crib since the tag says not to use it for sleep. why IS that anyway? she's asleep in the boppy right now, the only place she is sleeping lately besides on someone.

[Code Name Mama]

Kieran slept on his tummy on my chest for awhile, now we both sleep on our sides facing each other tum-to-tum. I asked an RN (she runs the birth center we used) and she said not to worry about it, because cosleeping moms are generally so in tune w/their babies. And I believe it - Kieran never even has to cry at night, as soon as he starts doing the "wet dipey squirm", I'm awake and ready to change him.
Now if he was face planting in the bed . . . I might change my tune. Can you try starting her out on her side? We end up like that b/c he always nurses to sleep.
That probably wasn't much help

[YummyYumYumMama]

Originally Posted by dionnakay

Kieran slept on his tummy on my chest for awhile, now we both sleep on our sides facing each other tum-to-tum. I asked an RN (she runs the birth center we used) and she said not to worry about it, because cosleeping moms are generally so in tune w/their babies. And I believe it - Kieran never even has to cry at night, as soon as he starts doing the "wet dipey squirm", I'm awake and ready to change him.
Now if he was face planting in the bed . . . I might change my tune. Can you try starting her out on her side? We end up like that b/c he always nurses to sleep.
That probably wasn't much help

my doc said the same thing! but the face planting in the bed does make me worry. when she starts out on her side she ends up on her tummy. i think it's because of how soft the bed is? she squishes into it more and more until she's on her belly.

i might try the boppy thing tonight.

[YummyYumYumMama]

ok, i can't figure it out... why AREN'T babies supposed to sleep against boppies? is it anything to do with their position? or is it a SIDS/suffocation risk? or something else?

Originally Posted by dionnakay

And I believe it - Kieran never even has to cry at night, as soon as he starts doing the "wet dipey squirm", I'm awake and ready to change him.

also, totally feel you on this. only there's no wet dipey squirm for us - maya usually saves her pee for as soon as the diaper comes off. (i'd go to change her and she's DRY and i'm like OMG and then she soaks her diaper, her outfit, and the table. now we know how to save the outfit and table, go us.) but as soon as she starts rooting around for boob, in her sleep, i'm up and whipping out a boob and she's nursing before she even realizes she was waking up from hunger.

[wife&mommy]

Originally Posted by MmeMuffin

ok, i can't figure it out... why AREN'T babies supposed to sleep against boppies? is it anything to do with their position? or is it a SIDS/suffocation risk? or something else?

It's probably a CYA type of thing. BUT I have had my girl in it and she has slid down into the hole of it with the back of her head still smashed agains the boppy and making her neck all funny. I could see where that would cut off the air supply or if they were all the way in the hole they could smash their face against it. That's all I could think of.

But you know what? (esp about the tummy thing) My DH and I were talking about it and we basically don't do anything they way "they" say we are supposed to... don't know why sleeping freaks me out so much. I mean we do our own thing with feeding, sleeping (like co-sleeping), vax, circ, discipline, babywearing, homebirth, etc. that are all against what most of society does and none of it bothers me a bit because we know it is right for us. I think tummy sleeping is right for *my* baby but even thinking that I still get freaked out by the SIDS scare, don't know why that is. Maybe because I haven't researched it enough and just hear the stories? No clue.

[Frenchie2]

My first DS would not sleep anyway except on his tummy when he was in his crib. Simon sleeps with me at night - on my arm, but most of the time in the morning he is on his side facing me (what a glorious way to wake up). Anyway, when I put him in the bassinet or cosleeper during the day he sleeps for a little while on his back, but sleeps much better on his tummy with his butt up in the air. After my first was born, I started asking people about how their babies slept and I was amazed at how many babies slept on their tummies. I think it must be hard to be so little and have the startle reflex and try to sleep on ones back, plus Simon is such a gas ball that laying on his tummy must feel great.

[YummyYumYumMama]

Originally Posted by wife&mommy

But you know what? (esp about the tummy thing) My DH and I were talking about it and we basically don't do anything they way "they" say we are supposed to... don't know why sleeping freaks me out so much. I mean we do our own thing with feeding, sleeping (like co-sleeping), vax, circ, discipline, babywearing, homebirth, etc. that are all against what most of society does and none of it bothers me a bit because we know it is right for us. I think tummy sleeping is right for *my* baby but even thinking that I still get freaked out by the SIDS scare, don't know why that is. Maybe because I haven't researched it enough and just hear the stories? No clue.

i feel the same. maybe i should look into it more. i wonder about other cultures that co-sleep AND have their babies tummy-sleep... what are their SIDS rates?

Originally Posted by Frenchie2

My first DS would not sleep anyway except on his tummy when he was in his crib. Simon sleeps with me at night - on my arm, but most of the time in the morning he is on his side facing me (what a glorious way to wake up). Anyway, when I put him in the bassinet or cosleeper during the day he sleeps for a little while on his back, but sleeps much better on his tummy with his butt up in the air. After my first was born, I started asking people about how their babies slept and I was amazed at how many babies slept on their tummies. I think it must be hard to be so little and have the startle reflex and try to sleep on ones back, plus Simon is such a gas ball that laying on his tummy must feel great.

maya startles so bad on her back, AND she's a gas bag as well. i might go take a nap w/her now and try her on her tummy in her crib. this whole thing wouldn't be an issue if we had a different mattress in our bed, but whatever.

[SheBear]

Just a thought...do you have anything sorta firm that you could slide under your bed sheet/on top of the memory foam to give her a sort of platform to sleep on?

I'm thinking about this thin, firm foam pad that came with my changing table. It's about a half inch thick so it wouldn't make a huge bump in your bed. And wouldn't get in the way of you being able to easily nurse/snuggle. It's about 24"x32", so it'd be big enough for quite awhile.

I dunno, just maybe something like that under your bedding but on the mattress topper would firm it up enough to give you peace of mind about her sleeping on her tummy?

Also, I've been meaning to ask...how's your back doing? Esp wrt night nursing--is that giving you any pain/stiffness?

Mine is giving me fits...I wake up soooooo stiff and sore, it takes a couple hours (and often, a couple advil!) to get things worked out! I'm afraid to add more pillows with dd sleeping there!

[Belleweather]

Originally Posted by MmeMuffin

omg, maya sleeps GREAT in her boppy, but i haven't used it in the crib since the tag says not to use it for sleep. why IS that anyway? she's asleep in the boppy right now, the only place she is sleeping lately besides on someone.

I'm pretty sure it's a liability thing -- if they don't tell you that you shouldn't have your baby sleep in the boppy and then they had SIDS or died in their sleep or something, then the company that makes the boppy would possibly be liable for damages for wrongful death. And there's nothing that scares companies like lawsuits about dead babies!

Originally Posted by SheBear

Just a thought...do you have anything sorta firm that you could slide under your bed sheet/on top of the memory foam to give her a sort of platform to sleep on?

I'm thinking about this thin, firm foam pad that came with my changing table. It's about a half inch thick so it wouldn't make a huge bump in your bed. And wouldn't get in the way of you being able to easily nurse/snuggle. It's about 24"x32", so it'd be big enough for quite awhile.

I was thinking that too... I've let both of my boys sleep on their bellies, but we have a firm mattress with no topper. I don't think I'd be okay with it with a memory foam mattress, though. So adding something to stiffen the area where the baby sleeps might be the way to go.

[SheBear]

bump--how's it going, Muffin?

And a question...my back is killing me. the constant tensing and guarding (and not changing positions enough) throughout the night is exacerbating my pre-existing back problems. When ds2 was born, it got so bad (right at a month, and dd is 4 weeks today, so I'm understandably paranoid!) that I had to completely stop co-sleeping! Which was hell for both of us. because....the only thing worse than not nearly enough sleep for mommy? NO sleep for ANYONE!!

It's not to that point yet, thank God, but I'm really stressing about how to protect my back, AND meet dd's nighttime needs, AND keep co-sleeping (for as long as we are able!) safely.

Currently, I am using a small pillos under my head/neck, a firm pillow between/under my knees, and a pillow behind my back. But the one behind my back is not offering enough support, or maybe the support isn't where I need it or something...dunno. But I really relax back against it, because it keeps falling off the bed, or scoots away from me enough that dd loses her latch, and then all hell breaks loose, lol!

Any suggestions for some way to support my back? Something that I can easily/quickly move when I turn over to switch sides?

I really really miss my huge nest of pillows, but I can't figure out a way to duplicate it that feels safe for dd, KWIM?

[YummyYumYumMama]

hbak. and she's grumpy b/c she wants to jump, jump, jump, and i'm too full and will throw up if i watch her jump one more time.

ok so, i got one of those sleep positioner things that keeps babies on their backs/sides, and she sleeps great! she's on our bed, sidecar is used to store cushions and boppy and reading material, and all's well. she dosent even need to be held for most of the night!

Originally Posted by SheBear

Any suggestions for some way to support my back? Something that I can easily/quickly move when I turn over to switch sides?

how abt something like this? you can sleep like this facing baby, and then when you wanna turn over you don't have to move it and woul instead be like this w/your back to her. i have it and loved it till i got to 3rd tri, havent tried it since. i also lay on my backl w/it sometimes and used the bottom part as support under y knees.

Originally Posted by SheBear

Also, I've been meaning to ask...how's your back doing? Esp wrt night nursing--is that giving you any pain/stiffness?

oh god yes. woud tell u more but OMG BABYRAGE!!!

[SheBear]

hey, that's not a bad idea! It looks firmer and less bulky than your average body pillow, so it just might work for co-sleeping. And I can totally see it working as in that first image....not so much the second one, because I've never felt comfortable turning my back to the baby in the bed, not even when they are older. Dunno why, but I can't do it. So when I turn over, we both have to, lol! but it generally works out that I'm turning over the same time she wants to switch sides anyway, so no big deal.

I'm sorry you are having problems too! What's going on? I hope you find something to relieve it! And I hope your new taskmaster (mistress?) will settle down soon so you can chat with us more, LOL!

[YummyYumYumMama]

Originally Posted by SheBear

hey, that's not a bad idea! It looks firmer and less bulky than your average body pillow, so it just might work for co-sleeping. And I can totally see it working as in that first image....not so much the second one, because I've never felt comfortable turning my back to the baby in the bed, not even when they are older. Dunno why, but I can't do it. So when I turn over, we both have to, lol! but it generally works out that I'm turning over the same time she wants to switch sides anyway, so no big deal.

I'm sorry you are having problems too! What's going on? I hope you find something to relieve it! And I hope your new taskmaster (mistress?) will settle down soon so you can chat with us more, LOL!

warning - it is not as firm as you'd think. and my preggo belly helped ot deflate a bit, but i found it super comfy. i get what you mean now about turning over w/her; i was confused. but yeah, this way you just move her and not everything.

AHHHH, my husband just took the baby, I CAN TYPE! WOOT!!! so, my main problem is sleeping in odd positions and straining my back when i'm nursing her. meh. also my left shoulder and arm are KILLING me. for some reason i can't hold her as easily to nurse on the left side so i usually football her there; otherwise we have a difficult time keeping the latch. and my arm would love a change of position. rawr!

little miss is doing pretty well, though. i probably make her sound like this total grumpy demanding baby, but she's actually rather mellow. she doesn't cry very much, but she gets pretty pissy when i'm paying attention to the computer instead of her - she doesn't like the way i hold her to type, because it makes her want to push off with her feet. (she likes to jump. if i had one of those jumperoo things, she would never want to leave it.)

wow, i just heard a HUGELY loud fart from the bed and assumed it was alex, and actually it was MAYA. wow. go baby. i guess she takes after her mom. wait, what was this post supposed to be about? probably not baby farts and jumperoos. oh well. i'm gonna go have some toast and soup. MMMMM FOOD.