best pacifier or other options

[SpiralWoman]

Hi all~ I'm hoping some more experienced mamas can help me with this~
I wasn't planning to use any pacifiers at all, by I wasn't planning on being a pacifier, either! DS nurses himself to sleep in our bed, which is great, & sleeps very well with us thru the night, nursing whenever he wants to, no problem. The only trouble is that he keeps attached to my nipple long after he falls asleep (like 2 hours!), & if I try to take my nipple out, it wakes him up. So most of the time, it doesn't bother me, but occasionally I do have to get up to go pee, get a glass of water, etc. It is too bad I'm not a marsupial with a pouch like a Kangaroo. But I'm not & I'm thinking- hey maybe this is what you need a pacifier for!

SO, what is the best kind to use? It is really important that I don't mess up his latch or anything, bcz we have had supply problems on my side. I absolutely won't be using the paci during the day bcz I really have to nurse him quite often to keep my supply up. The only other time I was thinking a paci would be useful would be in the car when I can't take him out of his car seat (we are taking a 4 hr trip in October)

Any other ideas how to deal with this?

thanks! Maria

[doctorjen]

At your baby's age, you may find that he just won't take a pacifier. You might have to just experiment with a couple of different kinds and see what he likes. My second child is the only one who willingly took a paci, and she preferred a Mini Mam type when she was very small, and then an orthodontic shaped one (like NUK) when she was a little bigger. She used it when she was with dad at night when I was on call, since she was used to long, leisurely nursing sessions and could suck down her bottle too quickly to satisfy her sucking needs.
My first child spit out any paci I tried. My third sucked his thumb from birth so never tried one. My fourth, whose a few days younger than your little guy, won't use a paci at all. I waited to offer it until I went back to work, thinking she might like it to help with her sucking needs when I'm gone, but she just won't use it. If dcp or dh try it, she makes a face and spits it out.
You won't know til you try, though!
Oops, forgot to add my "other ways to deal" suggestion. Does ds wake no matter what when you take the breast out of his mouth? I found that if I left baby lying on my chest they often didn't mind being detached. This worked well with my older 3 (although I guess it wouldn't help you get up to the bathroom!) I have found the opposite with my current little one. If her face is near me or touching me, she roots. If I turn her away from me after detaching her she sleeps. If I manage to be awake when she's fallen asleep, I take her off and turn her back to me and then she usually stays asleep.

[merpk]

Can't begin to count how many times I took a nursing baby in to the bathroom with me in the dark of night ... sometimes ya' gotta do whatcha gotta do ... :LOL

And maybe you could try taking the breast out of the latch a different way, or slower ... ???

Is your baby teething? Is this a situation that recently started, or has this been from the beginning?

[SpiralWoman]

hey there~
thanks for the replies (I just snuck out of bed again ) Well, he has always fallen asleep at the end of his nursing sessions with my boob in his mouth. During the day I let him sleep on my lap to nap bcz if I get up to put him down, he just wakes up in his bassinet within about 5 min. As far as teething, he does drool sometimes & chew his fist.

To get him delatched, I usually just pull lightly on my boob 1st to see if the suction if broken & if my nipple just slips out, that's good, then I can roll away without disturbing him. But if he still has suction, he'll start suckling again in his sleep. I try to break the suction real gently by just pressing down on my boob & sometimes I can get away like that. Not often tho. Tonite this went on for about 2 hrs & he would just root back in & grab ahold! I think it is just bothering me more right now bcz we are trying to go to bed earlier lately to avoid his cranky times that start about 9pm, & I'm not quite sleepy yet, so instead of falling asleep with him, I'm wanting to get up. Sigh.

Any other suggestins appreciated!
thanks, maria

[Island Mommy]

Well, we used the Gerber gentle flex pacifier. I like those because they do not curve toward the face, like the NUK ones. Babes who fall asleep with the NUK ones in their mouths or suck on them quite hard can get nasty red rings and rashes around their mouths.
DD used her pacifier from about 3 weeks old until just recently. In the last few weeks she has just decided she doesn't want it anymore and uses it only occasionally. (She's 7 months old). We did find it really helpful, particularly in the car, although I have been known to nurse her in the car seat when all else fails.
For delatching, I put my finger in the side of DD's mouth once her sucking has really slowed down. Sometimes she will root, but if she doesn't find anything sometimes she just goes to sleep. I try to move away quite quickly afer I delatch.
Keep trying with the delatching. Eventually your babe will realize that once delatched, mom's going to move away, and hopefully he will soon be OK with that.

[mamamarieke]

Not a paci recommendation, but when my son is the same way. It doesn't help when I have to get up, but if I'm content to lie there awake, I will usually read a book. I keep the light on enough as he's nursing to sleep. Oftentimes if I read for a little while I realize he's asleep enough to get my nipple out and roll away. It just takes patience!

[TranscendentalMom]

I had the same dilemma. Also, my son has reflux so if I nursed him too much he would wake up from stomach acids in his throat and/or he'd throw up everywhere. We started using a binky around the time he was 6 weeks. (I used my pinky before that) We only used it when trying to get him to sleep, in the car, or if he was really cranky and I'd nursed him as much as I could without him vomiting. I never had any supply problems...he nursed PLENTY despite the binky. I don't think you would have a problem as long as you don't overuse it. The kind my son likes best are MAMs and Nuks. He hates the Avent ones. NOTE: make sure you buy the silicone ones...clear plastic not brown... I've heard not to use the brown ones because toxins from the plastic can get into their system. Supposedly silicone is safe, though I'm still not crazy about him having a piece of plastic in his mouth. These days, I use it as little as possible. However, I have found it to be helpful. There are a lot of people who are VERY anti-paci, but I think its a personal choice and that they can be very helpful as long as not overused. In situations like the car, I would much rather my son suck on a binky than produce high amounts cortisol from crying. And sometimes when my son is nursing and close to sleep, he will actually pull off and put the binky in his mouth (or root around for it). I think that when he's tired he likes to suck but doesn't want the milk coming out, kwim? ANYWAY, best of luck whatever you decide.

[lexbeach]

Well, I think a paci might help you out, but a more likely solution would just be getting your ds used to not being latched on while asleep. I have twins, and I often have to de-latch one after he falls asleep so that I can care for his brother. What I do is I slide my finger alongside my nipple into the corner of ds' mouth. This breaks the suction, and then I pull the nipple out. Ds will normally root around a little and then either fall asleep or start to whimper. If he whimpers, I stick the nipple back in and try again in 20-30 seconds. It pretty much always works after at most 3 minutes. One of my babies has much more need to suck than the other. I never planned on giving any of my babies a paci, but when Jasper was a few weeks old, I thought "this is a baby who needs a bink." Nursing twins on demand was about as much sucking as I could take, and so I bought Jasper a pacifier. He didn't like it. We got thrush, so I threw all the binks away and gave up on trying to give them. I hoped that he would start to suck his thumb. He didn't. When he was four months old, and the thrush was pretty much gone, I bought another pacifier just to try, and Jasper loved it! He still does, especially now that he is teething. Some bad teething days he just needs his pacifier all day long. He still nurses at least once every two hours, but uses a pacifier ocassionally as well. I do sometimes stick a bink in his mouth when I de-latch him after he's fallen asleep. So, it is worth a try. I think it's great that you are able to let your baby suck as much as he wants to during the day!

We use the nuk pacifiers. I like the colors

Lex