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Originally Posted by mlec  Wow. I dont' know your story, but it sounds like ppl think your advice is worthless b/c your ideas are to blame for your daughter's death? Wow. I can see why you are really upset by that. I'm really sorry you have that hurt on top of the grief you already have to bear. And I'm very sorry for your loss. I clicked on Naiya's link...she looks so beautful.
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I lived on a military base in Japan when I was pg. I had a homebirth (on base--totally not done normally, DH almost lost his job because of this even though there were no written rules about this) with a Japanese certified midwife. Base mentality is to have a hospital birth, lots of drugs, maybe even a c-sec for no reason, no bfing, circing, vaccinating, cio, spanking, etc. . . I do not fit this mold. Naiya passed mec and it was too much. She was taken to the hospital where she was diagnosed with severe mec aspiration syndrome, brain damage, muscular damage, etc. . .she died 22 hours after birth. The only people who knew what happened to her were the ambulance crew and one of the base doctors; however the next day the entire base "knew" that I had a homebirth with no attendee and because of this homebirth my baby died. Now, like I said, I have no credibility when it comes to birth, raising children, etc. . . Also, whenever I go to the base docs, they have to chat about me for a while before they will see me (last time I went, I heard one doc tell the front desk person my "story" while I was sitting in the waiting room)--UGH!! We have now moved off base, we avoid the clinic choosing to see Japanese docs instead, and avoid base as much as we can (well, except DH works on the base everyday).
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All my love to you and your family. 
