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PAL Thread-Pregnant After a Loss

post #1 of 148
Thread Starter 
Just wondering if anyone out there is in the same boat I'm in. I'm pregnant, and certainly feeling it, but not quite ready to jump on the "I'm pregnant" bandwagon, given my history. This is my third pregnancy in 10 months and all I can think is "I cannot have three miscarriages in a year, I just CAN'T."

My HCG is good, I'm on progesterone b/c it was a tad low, I'm doing daily Lovenox injections and I'm taking 4mg (not mics) of folic acid in addition to my prenatals. And I'm only 4w, 1d. Surely I have all of the bases covered, right??

And yet I'm still totally freaked out.
post #2 of 148
I hope everything works out for you.
I am to am pregnant after a MC that rocked both my partner and I. He didn't want to try again for a long time. But now we are pregnant! I am so excited.
post #3 of 148
I know how you feel. I am pregnant but don't want to get too excited just yet. Its almost like I am not really pregnant yet like I have to wait.
post #4 of 148
It's hard isn't it? I want to be so excited - but I'm so scared.

I get my first beta back tomorrow and hoping that will provide me with a bit of peace.

I'm glad you started this thread! Sometimes, it's hard to feel like you belong because you know the brutal truth, but you also don't want to rain on anyone's parade, kwim?
post #5 of 148
I have had an ectopic pregnancy, a live birth, a miscarriage, and now this pregnancy. I have good, calm feelings about this pregnancy. Although that doesn't stop me from checking the toilet papre everytime I go to the bathroom. Or from taking daily hpts. Or from silently worrying about every twinge on my left side. But other than that, I'm calm and good.
post #6 of 148
Originally Posted by dani76 View Post
But other than that, I'm calm and good.

post #7 of 148
Thread Starter 
Josh's Girl, you and I were due in March together. I'm so glad to see you back!

I guess I just have a harsh view of pregnancy. I've been pregnant...this makes...EIGHT times. I have two children. It's so hard to be happy, but so hard not to be happy!

I'm looking at names (you'd think after 2.5 years we'd have them, but we can't decide!), and I keep thinking of "last time." Last time this and last time that. I hate it.

I knew there'd be others out there who understand. I hate that you all understand, but I love the company in my "I'm not so sure how to handle this" state .
post #8 of 148
My first was stillborn full term and my second was miscarried at 10 weeks. Got my fingers crossed this time!
post #9 of 148
to all us Mama's in this boat.

This is my second pregnancy after a loss, and it's still as hard as the first time. Let's keep checking in with each other!
post #10 of 148
Hi. I just posted my intro on the main board, but I very much belong here.

Assuming this is real and I wasn't hallucinating this morning, this is my 4th pregnancy in 13 months. My previous losses were at 4w5d, 7w, and 5w. I'm not expecting to stick around long, and I certainly won't be announcing to the family until I see a heartbeat. But we'll see.

So I'm here, for now. Until proven otherwise.
post #11 of 148
Wow to all of you mamas! I have had one m/c (right before this pg) and one chemical pg in 7/07 so I am there with you - I also have low progestrone so I am on Prometrium this time for the 1st 12 weeks...I had a freak out scare this weekend - forgot my pill Saturday night and had one streak of yellowish-brownish mucous on Sunday and another on Monday - I even felt *less* nauseous and tired yesterday and was totally freaking out - but my round the clock toilet paper policing has turned up no further bleeding and I am back to gagging at everything I see so I think I am okay..

On another note, you know you can get pretty cheap pg tests on the internet - I know its stupid but it makes me feel better when I am getting anxious to take one and see that pg line turn up faster and darker than the control line....sorry for the ramble - wishing you all peaceful thoughts and healthy sticky pregnancies!
post #12 of 148
Christine - "toilet paper policing" - I LOVE IT!

I just took my eight pregnancy test since Friday.....still pg

Stupid doctor hasn't called yet with my betas though
post #13 of 148
Another mama PAL here. I had two miscarriages before my DD, then had my DD, then had another miscarriage in September. My first beta looked good and my progesterone looked great (9dpo beta = 22, p4 = 27.4 - yes, 9dpo ). I'm on 200mg of progesterone/day and I should get my second beta results back tomorrow. Prayers and sticky baby vibes for all of us!
post #14 of 148
Oh my goodness HHH - those are some great numbers!
post #15 of 148
Could you ladies help me with what progesterone and beta levels mean? And why is left-side twitches bad?
or direct me to a place where I can research these things.
post #16 of 148
Betas are the amount of hcg in your system. HCPs want to see it double every 48 to 72 hours to indicate that the pregnancy is in the proper place and is progressing accordingly.

You need a certain level of progesterone to support your pregnancy until the placenta takes over in the second trimester. If your progesterone level drops, that signals to your body to start shedding the endometrium, essentially resulting in a miscarriage.

I'm not sure why left side twitches are bad - unless you've had a history of ectopics or have another sign indicating it could be an ectopic pregnancy.
post #17 of 148
PAL mamas - I need help :

My doctor's office didn't call me back with my results today - in spite of the messages I left. I'm an absolute freaking mess to say the least.

I go back tomorrow morning for another draw - and please send me strong will vibes - I'm not confrontational at all but tomorrow, I have to be my own advocate and demand that they tell me why they didn't call me today. HCPs tend to intimidate me and I just need to stand up for myself and tell them what they did (promising me they would call and not calling) is not acceptable.

This anxiety .... it can't be good for me or the baby.

post #18 of 148
I had a m/c last spring. It was awful-- the worst part was that I had hyperemesis even after the heartbeat stopped and we knew it was over. I ended up with a D&E.

So now, even though people say morning sickness is a good sign, I just can't believe it and I really need to see a heartbeat- just for my sanity. I go to the doctor on Thursday (the practice that did my D&E- not planning to stay with them) and I am praying that we see that heartbeat!!
post #19 of 148
Josh's girl - hugs to you! And you know what? Stop worrying about what that office thinks of you. You leave messages once an hour or more if you need to - you are absolutely right you MUST be your own advocate. I am sure they have heard far more freakish hormonal women yell at them than you.

I was planning on a no-intervention pg this time (besides the 1st trimester prometrium) - I already met with my homebirth midwife who advised me against doing any sonograms - but after I got another nickel-sized glob of brownish mucous yesterday and essentially was a total freak out mess last night I called my OB's office and asked to scchedule a sonogram for today - they said yeah sure then called me back and said my OB wanted to do a beta and a progesterone before doing a sonogram because there is some confusion over my dates : - They just can't get it through their thick heads that I am a freak of nature and ovulate on day 34 of my cycle - EGADS! - and are completely confused by the fact that my last period was in September, followed by a m/c in November, followed by this pg in December - I know when I ovulated thanks to charting my temps, cervical mucous and changes, AND taking Ovulation predictor kits AND a fertility monitor - so I am on the phone SOBBING begging them to do a sonogram today to ease my anxiety over this baby's health and well being - they were trying to get me to do a sonogram two weeks ago and I refused it so what's the big deal at 7 weeks 2 days doing a sonogram?! ARRGH - I know the extra intervention is probably not helpful if my baby is in fact threatened but I think my stress and anxiety is worse for the baby than a sonogram at this point....

So I am going in this afternoon and doing the blood work (beta and progesterone) and the sonogram - and you know what? I don't care if they think I am a hormonal freak - at least tonight I will have some sense of peace over what is going on with my body - so speak up mamas...don't suffer in silence!

And hopefully I can learn to trust my body before this pg is over - I know that is so important for a homebirth - the whole m/c thing is just messing with my sense of self-confidence....

Sorry for the ramble - just needed to vent...
post #20 of 148
Christine - I hope you get your answers today!

and i have my numbers!!

my 16DPO beta was 610 and my progesterone was 21.9 (I think - I forgot to write it down.)

This time the nurse said to call for her for my results tomorrow.

The progesterone was low for what they wanted to see, so I'm on supplements for it until I'm out of the first tri.

Think good doubling thoughts for me!

(The doctor's office was another clusterfvck but at least I got my answers this time.)
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