Bipolar IIwhy do they just jump to that? couldnt it be just ppd? hypothyroidism? Those are excellent questions, and you need to ask the psychologist that. You can certainly have ppd concurrent with pbII, in fact bp moms have a much higher rate of ppd than the rest of the population. The bp simply magnifies the ppd. Did you have a thyroid blood test done? Negative for hypothyroidism? Check it off your list. The pdoc should clearly explain the criteria for ppd, bpII and hypothyroidism and explain why you belong on the bp spectrum. Yes, bipolar is the ailment du jour. It's imperative you understand what the doctor said about you.
I feel like this dx is messing with my mind...like just thinking about being bipolar makes me feel on the verge of insanity!!! I am very anxious today, i feel like i can barely contain myself....very irritable.
Some people feel a sense of relief when they're diagnosed, some feel shame, confusion, anger. They go through stages of morning, for the loss of their old identity. Either way, it simply take time to get used to the idea of having this disorder. Again, talk to your pdoc about this next time you meet.
who am i? i mean- if reading 6 books at once or spending 2 days straight tackling some intriguing project is the bipolar-not me, then who am i???
Oh my word, I so understand your dilemma. Who am I?? is the question at the center of philosophy and existentialism. This is THE rub for people with bipolar. Some of the world's most brilliant and creative people had bipolar. I certainly haven't answered that question for myself.
But the problem is when, during the 2 day marathon project session you become horrible to live with. Or afterwards. There is ALWAYS the crash. Hyper irritability is frequently how pbII mania manifests. How do you treat your family, including your baby? In the end, philosophical questions don't matter if you are horrible to live with and are suffocating under an ocean of depression.
Medication and nursing: well, you know how it goes. Only you can decide what's best for you. Get yourself to a psychiatrist (an MD) and ask if there are any mood stabilizers that are appropriate for nursing mothers to use. One thing you can do that makes a huge difference is to get a good night's sleep. That's very hard to do when you are night nursing. If you still are, consider stopping it. It is so important for you to get 6 -7 hours of uninterrupted sleep at a time, day after day. And your sleep is not uninterrupted when your has to reattach throughout the night, wiggling, turning over, grabbing, what not. Do NOT compare yourself to other moms. Everyone has different sleep needs.
Bipolar is one of those diagnoses you just don't mess with. It has a higher rate of suicide than just plain depression. Sometimes manic episodes happen together with depressed episodes ('mixed state', common in bpII). Think about how you feel when your mania is manifesting as irritability. Add to that crushing depression It's a recipe for disaster. This happened to me a few times. I didn't want to live anymore and I wanted to crawl out of my skin. We didn't have a gun in the house. That's the only reason I'm alive today.
I urge you to find a good psychiatrist. Medication and therapy together can be miraculous.
: I didn't 'feel' as much of anything. It was a relief for a long time, but I'm ready to get my emotions back. I think I'll handle it better than when the kids were little. It is a trade. I'm willing to take back my nuttiness in order to get my emotional energy back.
