Elementary M School? would you share your experience?

[mightymoo]

We got the contracts for DD's next year of school today - this will be her 3rd year of children's house. I've made the decision to definitely send her for Kindergarten rather than to the PS for a variety of reasons. First, DS will be in M school this year and I'd love for them to be together; DD loves her school and is finally (after 2 years) warmed up to her teachers and I feel the continuity is extremely good for her social development, as she tends to be very shy and reserved in new situations; and the public K swaps mornings and afternoons halfway through the year and besides being a royal PIA (the K bus would arrive at my house at the same time DS should be dropped off at M school 5 miles away) and I'd have to spend half a year with no time to myself, which I really need for my own sanity.

But, the contracts made me realize that this time next year we'll have to
decide whether she goes to public elementary or continues on with her current school. The problem is this - her current school is only up to 3rd grade at the moment. I know the Director would love to add an upper el, and they did have one for I think 2 years 4-5 years ago, but they don't have enough kids to fill one. Right now they have only one lower elementary classroom. There is another M school the same distance from us that goes up to middle school, but that would be a transition (and for both kids since I couldn't keep DS in this one and her in the other), its two towns over and if we go that route I'm not sure where we go from there, send her through middle school then freshman year in high school go to PS where she knows no one?

In our town there is a charter middle / high school which looks very promising, its where a lot of the kids who attend lower el at our M school end up going, but it only goes 5-12, so 4th grade she'd be in regular public school.

I am rambling on! There are just so many things to think about - the cost, the transition when we drop off the end, etc. She is *just* like I was as a child and I didn't do well in school, despite being very bright, probably because I was bored and had low self-esteem, I don't want her to go through that.

I know I have a year to decide, but I know it will creep up on me so fast, so I need to start pondering it now, kwim? I'd love to hear other Montessori experiences beyond Children's house - either your own, or your child's, what did you do? How did the transition go? would you have done anything differently? etc. I'm especially curious about the social friends aspects as well.

[OnTheBrink]

I think I'd keep her where she's succeeding. It will help give her confidence, academic skills, and peace of mind that she can then use if a transition is necessary.

I know a family that will experience a "gap year" like you are mentioning for her 4th grade. (This will be for 7th grade for this boy until the 7th-8th school opens.) They are choosing to homeschool for that year. Is that an option for you?

[mightymoo]

Originally Posted by OnTheBrink

I think I'd keep her where she's succeeding. It will help give her confidence, academic skills, and peace of mind that she can then use if a transition is necessary.

I know a family that will experience a "gap year" like you are mentioning for her 4th grade. (This will be for 7th grade for this boy until the 7th-8th school opens.) They are choosing to homeschool for that year. Is that an option for you?

Not really. I do not have the patience in me to homeschool, really I do not. I am barely getting by on the patience I have to be a SAHM, I am looking forward to returning to work, but I want to wait until the kids are in regular full time school before going back. I am just a terrible teacher, not for lack of knowledge, but the ability to actually teach. I get way too frustrated!

[OnTheBrink]

Originally Posted by mightymoo

Not really. I do not have the patience in me to homeschool, really I do not. I am barely getting by on the patience I have to be a SAHM, I am looking forward to returning to work, but I want to wait until the kids are in regular full time school before going back. I am just a terrible teacher, not for lack of knowledge, but the ability to actually teach. I get way too frustrated!

I hear you LOUD AND CLEAR on that!

So what this other family is doing is setting up a homeschool co-op type thing with some other students in the same situation. Maybe you could do something like that? Maybe find 5 fourth graders and each parent takes one day a week? Or - find someone that you can pay to teach her for a year?

[Lingmom]

I'd keep her where you both are happy for now and worry about the future when it comes up. Things could change a lot between now and 4th grade...

Also...maybe your kids are more sensitive to transitions and changing schools than my kids are. But I don't see changing schools as a negative thing at all. I always loved changing schools as a kid... new people to meet, new teachers, new cafeteria, new playground... In fact, because of moving, my daughter has been at a new school (or daycare) each year since she was 2. We did it out of necessity, not choice... but she is a stable, emotionally healthy, independent girl and is always excited to meet new people and try new things. My point is that you might be underestimating the ability for your kids to adapt to new situations.

But if that's not the case for your kids... could you do a fourth year at the lower elementary montessori and then start her in 5th grade at the middle school? What do other families do?

[mightymoo]

I do agree with what you are saying, its a good point. When I was a kid, I remembered always loving the beginning of school because it was a new year, new teachers a chance to completely start over again.

Its hard to tell how she will do in 3 years of course, but right now she has a very hard time with new environments. Honestly, the fact that she's adjusted to this school and is happy there thrills me. We do no other activities because every time I try she refuses to join or participate. We've tried dance, tennis, swimming lessons, etc. and generally with those activities there isn't enough time for her to 'warm up' before the whole session is over (and I don't mean the hour, I mean the 8 week session). It took all last year for her to finally start really talking to her teachers at school. She's stubborn and shy, which means she doesn't just stand there feeling shy, she refuses to enter the room and cannot be persuaded. In all the situations I mentioned, I've been the only mom with a child who would not participate. When she was 2, I'd often see other children not ready to join in, but at almost 5, I never see this behavior from other children. My son is looking to be the same way.

But actually I wanted to hear more about the lower elementary, because we have to decide whether its worth spending the money to send her for 3 years rather than going with the free education of the public school. It's not something we can really afford on our current income. It's twice as much as what we pay now (for half days) AND my son would also be going half days CH. We would have to pay for it from savings until I go back to work. Though answering your questions is really reinforcing my feelings that this is where she will thrive, I should keep her here. I need to go observe the elementary a few times I think.

ETA - I'm really not sure what other families do as I don't know any of the ones in that situation. I only know two families who were in the lower el because their younger children were in DD's CH class. One switched their older DD to the private catholic school after one year in lower elementary and then put the younger DD there for Kindergarten. THe other is very committed to Montessori, and I asked her once what they were going to do they wlil probably switch to another montessori further away, (there are two in the vicinity that go through middle school) because she told me vaguely that the other one 'wasn't for them', which I didn't get an elaboration on. They live much closer to that other one, it wouldn't really make sense for us to drive that far.

[MovingGirl]

Fast forward a year, and we are in your situation. DD is now in her third year of Children's House and DS is in his 1st year. We moved from another state last year but had decided she would complete the 3 year cycle of Children's House, even though the public ES was practically in our backyard at our old place.

What hit home for us was that we recently received our first property tax bill for this house. It's about the same as one year of Montessori tuition.

Our neighborhood has a lot of children - most attend public and a few attend parochial - so DD does have peer playmates outside of school.

We're on the fence but leaning towards continuing with M next year. Our school will have an open house soon, so we will be attending that to get a better sense of the elementary level.

Gotta go, someone's crying.

[MovingGirl]

When we enrolled DD in Montessori, we knew we liked what we saw (the work the children were doing, classroom dynamics, etc.), even though we didn't quite understand how it worked.

If/when we enroll her in M elementary, I think it will be the same sort of thing. I'll keep ya posted on our decision, which we'll have to make in a few months. Just as enrolling DD in the first year of Children's House, I do feel that we need to make a 3 year commitment (educationally and financially) to continue her through the 1-3 grade cycle.

This elementary issue was the entire reason why I searched for a Montessori message board.

[zicki]

My philosophy on this kind of thing (where you can't stay in a certain school past a certain grade) is to take what you can get as long as you can get it for, and worry about the future later on.

My DD1 is similar to what you're describing.. very reluctant to warm up to new situations/environments/people. Socially out-of-place. The M environment is terrific for her. She's 6.5 yrs now, and in Gr 1 at our local public M school. It's an amazing school and we literally won the lottery to get her in it -- 150 applicants and 5 spaces (they gender-balance, so after all the siblings of existing students were enrolled for K, there was 1 boy spot and 4 girl spots remaining). Our DD was the last girl name drawn. I think we would be HL'ing if we hadn't gotten that spot!

While we're not in your situation in terms of having to leave the school at gr4 (our school goes up to gr7 in M), there's alot of growing, maturing, changing happening in those years from gr1 to gr4, and you may find that by having your DD in the nurturing environment that is signature for M schools, that if/when the change of school has to happen at gr4, she'll be better able to handle it. My DD's *really* changed in the last year or so.

Again, I say, take what you can get for as long as you can get it!