I live in an area where there are many HSers, BUT they are almost all christian HSers who have groups that make you profess your faith to JC. As a non-christian family, that leaves us with no local HS support, since there are no secular or inclusive HS groups in our area. I found out last yr that another woman from our UU church was HSing her oldest son, and we decided that it would be nice to start our own secular HSing group sometime this yr or next yr.
Well, I ran into her again at church a few wks ago, and gave her an extra oak meadow catalog that I had, thinking she would like it, since she expressed interest in it when I had chatted with her a few months earlier. She confessed to me that she ended up enrolling her oldest son to PS recently. She told me that so far the adjustment for him was going well, but with a preschooler at home and a 1 yr old baby, she was too overwhelmed. I can understand her being overwhelmed, but I guess it still caught me by surprise, b/c she seemed so committed to the idea of HSing.
She said that she's also had problems finding more mainstream secular HSers, and all the ones that she knows are all dropping like flies, which has made her feel a little bit nervous (and I think it also influenced her decision to enroll her oldest son into PS). She said the only secular HSers that are left that she knows are kind of the super crunchy types (please don't be offended if you are one), that wear prairie clothes and live off the grid types. Not that there is anything wrong with that, both of us fall more in the mid-crunchy level, but we aren't super crunch, kwim? She told me that the more mainstream secular HSers, such as myself and herself, just don't seem to last. She did not say this to discourage me, but she was voicing her own frustration with lack of local secular HSers. She told me she doesn't know if her son will be in PS forever or not, but I just have this feeling that it probably won't happen, esp since her DH has always leaned more toward sending their kids to PS. She also said that when her kids were all my age she felt that she could never send them to school, but now that they are getting older, the idea doesn't seem that bad anymore. She expressed disappointment that there was nothing local (like a HS group) where kids could go and do some activities for a few hrs, just so moms like her could get a break. This is something that has crossed my mind too, I am very afraid that with the lack of a local support group, that I am just going to burn out and will give up HSing. I felt so bad after I talked to her, I know she really wanted it to work, I can see that the lack of local support probably did play a big role in her decision to send her oldest son to PS, and worst of all I am afraid that I will end up following in her footsteps.
I am kind of bummed about this whole thing and haven't been able to stop thinking about it since my conversation with her. I always felt that even though we were oddballs in our area, at LEAST I had hopes of starting a secular HS group with my friend from church. Really, I have NO local support. We live in a semi-rural area, if we drove 1-2 hrs, yes I could find support, but I do not want to waste the time and gas to travel that far in order to participate in a group. I have a few friends from LLL with kids about a yr younger than mind (mine are 4 and 2.5 yrs old and we will probably ttc #3 later on this yr or next yr), who have indicated interest in HSing, but I feel that their interest is very fleeting and in the end they will most likely just go the route of PS.
I know I could start my own group, but EVERY SINGLE HSer we meet are christian. I am friends with a few of them, and as much as they would like me to be part of their HS group, they know that the religion part just won't sit well with me. ALL of their HS support is from their HS group, so they do not need another group. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I think that if I started my own group on my own, that there would be little to no interest. I have been invited to the same christian HS groups multiple times. The christian HSers have plenty of local support groups, I am just feeling disheartened, like I am totally alone right now and have noticed that I am starting to waver in my own decision to HS, leaning more toward doing an online charter, where field trips are at least set up. As much as I have told myself that it is not big deal, I worry about the social aspects of HSing totally on our own and I worry about not having some sort of local support network.
Anyone else going through this, or BTDT? How did you deal with this sort of situation?
Well, I ran into her again at church a few wks ago, and gave her an extra oak meadow catalog that I had, thinking she would like it, since she expressed interest in it when I had chatted with her a few months earlier. She confessed to me that she ended up enrolling her oldest son to PS recently. She told me that so far the adjustment for him was going well, but with a preschooler at home and a 1 yr old baby, she was too overwhelmed. I can understand her being overwhelmed, but I guess it still caught me by surprise, b/c she seemed so committed to the idea of HSing.
She said that she's also had problems finding more mainstream secular HSers, and all the ones that she knows are all dropping like flies, which has made her feel a little bit nervous (and I think it also influenced her decision to enroll her oldest son into PS). She said the only secular HSers that are left that she knows are kind of the super crunchy types (please don't be offended if you are one), that wear prairie clothes and live off the grid types. Not that there is anything wrong with that, both of us fall more in the mid-crunchy level, but we aren't super crunch, kwim? She told me that the more mainstream secular HSers, such as myself and herself, just don't seem to last. She did not say this to discourage me, but she was voicing her own frustration with lack of local secular HSers. She told me she doesn't know if her son will be in PS forever or not, but I just have this feeling that it probably won't happen, esp since her DH has always leaned more toward sending their kids to PS. She also said that when her kids were all my age she felt that she could never send them to school, but now that they are getting older, the idea doesn't seem that bad anymore. She expressed disappointment that there was nothing local (like a HS group) where kids could go and do some activities for a few hrs, just so moms like her could get a break. This is something that has crossed my mind too, I am very afraid that with the lack of a local support group, that I am just going to burn out and will give up HSing. I felt so bad after I talked to her, I know she really wanted it to work, I can see that the lack of local support probably did play a big role in her decision to send her oldest son to PS, and worst of all I am afraid that I will end up following in her footsteps.
I am kind of bummed about this whole thing and haven't been able to stop thinking about it since my conversation with her. I always felt that even though we were oddballs in our area, at LEAST I had hopes of starting a secular HS group with my friend from church. Really, I have NO local support. We live in a semi-rural area, if we drove 1-2 hrs, yes I could find support, but I do not want to waste the time and gas to travel that far in order to participate in a group. I have a few friends from LLL with kids about a yr younger than mind (mine are 4 and 2.5 yrs old and we will probably ttc #3 later on this yr or next yr), who have indicated interest in HSing, but I feel that their interest is very fleeting and in the end they will most likely just go the route of PS.
I know I could start my own group, but EVERY SINGLE HSer we meet are christian. I am friends with a few of them, and as much as they would like me to be part of their HS group, they know that the religion part just won't sit well with me. ALL of their HS support is from their HS group, so they do not need another group. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I think that if I started my own group on my own, that there would be little to no interest. I have been invited to the same christian HS groups multiple times. The christian HSers have plenty of local support groups, I am just feeling disheartened, like I am totally alone right now and have noticed that I am starting to waver in my own decision to HS, leaning more toward doing an online charter, where field trips are at least set up. As much as I have told myself that it is not big deal, I worry about the social aspects of HSing totally on our own and I worry about not having some sort of local support network.
Anyone else going through this, or BTDT? How did you deal with this sort of situation?
Lillian
Best of luck you to
