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Do you give your kids an allowance?  

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
the title says it

I am just wondering, as we have just started one with my DD and she is eating it up. I thought it would be a good tool for learning money management. As she is very young, she only has 4 chores...make her bed, brush teeth, pick up her dirty clothes and drop them down the laundry chute, and clean up her toys. We give her a penny for each chore done each day. She is also learning how many pennys make a nickle or dime and so forth as we cash in the pennies at the end of the week.

What does your family do?
post #2 of 29
My two younger children do not receive an allowance yet. When my son, in the summer of last year, had interest in saving up for a toy, I started giving him half his age in dollars per week. So he gets three dollars a week.

It HAS taught him a lot. The toy he wanted was 79 dollars (it was this Ultimate Bumblebee he wanted at the time). He got his three dollars and put it in a ziplock in his dresser. He saved it for MONTHS. He got some xmas money which really boosted the amount and a couple weeks ago he had 60 dollars. We went to see if Bumblebee was on sale.

Who knew this was a hot christmas toy? : I must live on another planet or something. But not only did having to save money teach him counting and patience, it also taught him compromise when what he wanted just wasn't available anymore (it was listed everywhere at 150 at least). He ended up getting himself a Sonic Nintendo DS game, which was half the price Bumblebee would have been and he still had lots of money left to save more. He's been amazingly dedicated to saving and he weighs the pros and cons of spending it everytime we go out. Many times he decides he doesn't want something enough to spend his money. Today he bought an 8 dollar 3D pokemon puzzle and spent a couple hours putting it together. It also helps him when we refuse to buy something because of the price- he can internalize it better since he has his own money saved up.

I am glad I started giving him an allowance. I don't tie it to chores, but i do hope he helps out around the house with a generally positive attitude. I wouldn't pay him to put his clothes away and being the trash can in any more than I would take money away if he didn't do it. I personally don't like the idea of him expecting money for helping me, but that's just me.
post #3 of 29
ds isnt old enough yet, but i plan to eventually
post #4 of 29
When my daughter was a bit younger I used to give her money for chores. But this ultimately backfired because after a while she didn't want to help out with anything unless I paid her. I would ask, "Could you please put these towels in the laundry basket for me?" And she would answer, "How much will you pay me?" And sometimes if she was feeling lazy she would say "I don't want to do it, I don't need the money." As you can see the way I was handling allowance was leading to some unappealing attitudes. I wanted her to see that everyone in our house should work together to get things done, but paying her was sabotaging my efforts to have her see this.

Now, I give her a set amount of money every week, regardless of what chores she does. She knows how much she gets every week and she likes being able to plan how many weeks it will take to save up for something she wants. Now that her allowance is unconnected to chores I find she is a lot more helpful around the house, because she is thinking of chores as contributing to the family now, not as a way to make money for herself.
post #5 of 29
Thread Starter 
Hmmm...I had not thought of this connection before.....as I said DD is very young, and so far it seems to motivate her a little with toy pick up. I had not thought about the negative part of that where she expects it if I ask her to do anything else. Food for thought....
post #6 of 29
we've talked a lot about allowances but have never gone ahead with it. Mostly because I'm a debit card person and never have cash. And, the boy (5.5) hasn't asked yet so were waiting until he does. It will NOT be linked to chores or responsibilities or behavior. He'll get it for being a part of the family and he helps because he is part of the family.
post #7 of 29
I don't do them.
post #8 of 29
My girls get $1 per year of their age(e.g., my 10 yr old gets $10/wk). We break it down into save, donate, spend. For instance, my 10 yr puts $3 into savings, $5 in her wallet to spend, and $3 into our charity fund. Our pooled donation money goes to a different charity each month.

It may seem like a lot of money each week w/ 3 kids, but it has actually saved me money. It has REALLY cut down on the "I wants." They say "I want," and I say, "Do you have the money?" They seem to "get it" a little easier that way, and I don't feel bad for saying no.

I don't tie money to chores b/c chores are a part of family life. If you are part of a household, you should help keep it up.
post #9 of 29
nope. My kids can earn extra money by taking on extras around here, but otherwise they get everything they want/need now without it. Perhaps when they are at that tween stage, too young for a job, too old to get by with just what mom buys I will implement an allowance but until then nope.
post #10 of 29
We've just started giving DS an allowance. He gets a dollar each week, which he is expected to put into his piggy bank. The piggy bank has three compartments (save, spend, donate) and he chooses how he breaks it down. I give him different types of loose change.

We don't tie the allowance into any chores. He gets money for the learning experience and so he can have some choices. He's expected to help around the house because he lives here, not because he gets paid to do it.
post #11 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dillpicklechip View Post
When my daughter was a bit younger I used to give her money for chores. But this ultimately backfired because after a while she didn't want to help out with anything unless I paid her. I would ask, "Could you please put these towels in the laundry basket for me?" And she would answer, "How much will you pay me?" And sometimes if she was feeling lazy she would say "I don't want to do it, I don't need the money." As you can see the way I was handling allowance was leading to some unappealing attitudes. I wanted her to see that everyone in our house should work together to get things done, but paying her was sabotaging my efforts to have her see this.

Now, I give her a set amount of money every week, regardless of what chores she does. She knows how much she gets every week and she likes being able to plan how many weeks it will take to save up for something she wants. Now that her allowance is unconnected to chores I find she is a lot more helpful around the house, because she is thinking of chores as contributing to the family now, not as a way to make money for herself.
I intend to give an allowance, but like this poster, I won't be tying it to chores for the reasons that she found it backfired.

The allowance will be regardless.

We prefer chores to just be viewed as everyone in the family pitching in and why we do that rather than being rewarded for it with money.
post #12 of 29
We give ds #1 an allowance both for the learning to manage money part, and for the mad money aspect of it. Dh and I also give ourselves mad money. I think it's important that everyone in a family have a little bit of money with which they can do whatever they want without discussing it with anyone else. I also think it's important that everyone pitch in to help around the house without keeping score of who's done more or less. Unless one person is seriously slacking, I find that it all evens out over time.

To me, it's a dual lesson of learning responsible autonomy and being a responsible part of a group/community.
post #13 of 29
We give our kids allowance. My four year old gets a dollar a week. My five year old gets $1.50. My 13 year old gets $15 a month. Allowance is not tied to chores. In our home, chores are done because every member of the family is responsible for the family and home's wellbeing, not because they are a money-making opportunity.

Do I read you correctly in that your daughter can earn 28 cents a week? I'm not sure that would teach much in the way of money management, since basically all she can buy with it is a gumball.

dm
post #14 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mongoose View Post
so far it seems to motivate her a little with toy pick up.
I'm going to guess it's the novelty of it. If you gave her a piece of gum or a pretty rock, she'd probably be excited about that for a while, too.

Someday she'll realize that she's getting shafted at a penny per chore.

Seriously, I don't know how young your daughter is, but if you can get away with giving her a penny a chore, she probably has no concept about the value of money anyway.

dm
post #15 of 29
No, we don't give an allowance. We do give them money when we have it to give though. We don't have chores, either.
post #16 of 29
We are about to start giving our 5-year-olds allowance - I think that it is very important for a couple of reasons. It teaches them to save up for something that they want, and it also gives them some measure of control (e.g., they enjoy being able to buy their own gum at the grocery store). Also, because they like to count their money, it helps with math. I think we will give them $3 each per week and have them save $1 for something that they want in the medium term, give $1 to charity, and keep $1 for "fun money".

I also think that chores should not be tied to allowance, but I might have a list of special projects that they could earn money for above their allowance. As they get older, I will also encourage them to continue to think of creative ways to earn money. (I say "continue" because this fall they picked all of the gourds from a volunteer vine in our garden, and sold them in front of our house. They made $12 at 25 cents each - thanks to my benevolent neighbors!)
post #17 of 29
My kids have been getting allowances for a few years. We consider an allowance to be a tool for learning financial skills. They're given half their age per week. They can spend it on whatever they want, though I have occasionally required a 24-hour cooling off period before a major purchase. If they're going to make stupid purchases, I'd far rather they make them at age 9 with $100, and learn from the experience, than at age 29 with $10,000. In that sense $100 blown on a stupid toy is money very well spent.

For a while we did the piggy bank thing, encouraging them to divide their coins between "spend", "save" and "give" banks. It didn't work very well. First, they played with their coins, and they all got mixed up, not only between "spend," "save" and "give", but between children. I'm not sure if there was ever any deliberate theft, but I could see that underhanded redistribution of funds was going to be very tempting. As would theft from the "laundry findings," the "change pot" and mom and dad's wallets. Secondly, we would forget to distribute the allowance, and would lose track of how much they were owed. They would go weeks and months without thinking about allowance, and so would we. I loved that they were not waiting with bated breath for a weekly bequest and collecting and hoarding it with single-minded focus, but it was very difficult to keep track of what was owed. Thirdly, they would never have their money with them when they wanted to purchase something, or they'd want to make an internet purchase, so I'd end up using my plastic and if I remembered to pay myself back later from their piggy banks, I would end up with hundreds of coins. And I'm pretty bad about getting to the bank.

Our allowance is not contingent on chores or behaviour. Partly because I don't believe in behavioural manipulators anyway, and partly because to me, contributing collaboratively to family work is just part of what it is to be a family. I cook vacuum and do laundry (I do, really ... just not always as often as I should) not so that dh will give me money for an occasional latté, but just because. And I want the kids to contribute "just because" too.

Besides, when my eldest was 7 she busked (played her violin outdoors with the case open) at the Garlic Festival for 20 minutes and made $75, and I realized right then and there that a smart kid (and I have a few of those ) would figure out that busking at a market every few months was going to be far easier and more lucrative than putting away dishes, washing bathroom floors and folding laundry day after day and week after week. If I turned chores into an economy, my kids would find better ways to earn money -- and I would have no recourse.

So we do the allowance thing. But because the piggy bank approach was chaotic, we turned to a ledger system. Each child has a ledger into which we enter their credits and debits. At first I worried that because they weren't seeing their money in concrete coinage, it would all be too abstract to them. But it has proved an excellent tool. All money is abstract anyway. Coins and bills are tokens, not things with inherent value. And so much of today's society (especially where we live, far from corner stores and malls) is cashless. Unlike a good portion of the last couple of generations, maybe my kids won't grow up feeling that credit card spending "doesn't quite count". When I forget to enter their allowance, the last date is listed in the ledger, and we can easily play catch-up. When someone is wondering why they never seem to have very much money, they can look back and review their spending patterns and realize that a large bag of chips every two weeks and a Runescape membership fee a month almost equals their monthly income. They can see at a glance that they did have rather a lot of money until they spent a fair bit on two purchases that right now don't seem like they were the most sensible investments. They can review their saving and spending habits and learn from the choices they made in the past. And when they're in the city or purchasing on-line they never have trouble accessing "their" money, since it resides in the Bank of Mom, and mom and mom's wallet and credit cards are always close at hand.

The other thing we've recently instituted is a separate page in the ledger for money earmarked for charitable giving. Every time I enter the kids' allowance I ask them if they want to earmark some of it for charity. They almost always do ... and I enter that portion on a separate page until they have enough and/or find a suitable cause that they want to give some.

It works really well for us.

Miranda
post #18 of 29
Nope. The kids help out around the house because that's what you do when you are part of a family.

They get money from birthday's and holidays to use for money management and they can get extra money by doing things *above and beyond*. DD (14) does get a certain amount of money monthly that is for her *extras* (lip gloss, funky socks, candy bars etc), but it is more of a homeschool project then an allowance.
post #19 of 29
Miranda, I am always happy to see that we do things similarly, because you sound like an excellent mom who really has things together. Maybe some of it will rub off on me!

We do a ledger, too, because my kids love to play with coins. Efram would lose his, and Ramona's would get all mixed up with whatever loose change was around the house. They, too, never had their cash with them when they wanted something.

My five year old LOVES to spend actual money, so I try to make sure she can make her purchases with cash, but the other two don't care at all, so it's often debit card spending.

Good idea to ask the kids if they want to earmark anything for charity!

dm
post #20 of 29
I do give my kids an allowance but it is not tied to chores or work. It's spending money just for being in our family, just as I get spending money and dh gets spending money. Our family has income and we all get a little bit of it to spend. Anything that I expect them to do (clean up, etc) is not related to money. They are expected to do it because they are part of our family and our family needs to work as a team to meet familial needs. I wasn't ready to give them allowance yet, but my 6 year old tearfully declared at supper one night that everyone in our family had money except for him.

So both my kids get a dollar a week. And it has been FABULOUS for math skills and financial management skills. All of a sudden, they became very interested in how much things cost (even the 4 year old!). We talk about how to read price tags and even how the .99 is a sneaky way of making the item appear cheaper than it is. They want certain little toys so they save for them. They count their money, they learn about fractions and coin value. They add and subtract. It's been AWESOME. Normally, they want to buy Star Wars figures, which are about 7 bucks each, so they mentally keep track of how much they currently have and how much more they need to buy the action figure.

I want to share a great learning experience we had related to this. The kids broke a birthday toy and they wanted a new one. It cost more money than they had. We figured out that if they pooled their allowance money, they could almost buy it. Since it was a birthday toy and since it was shoddily made, I agreed to subsidize this purchase by giving them $2. When we got to the store, my 4 year old, who is apparently super conservative with his spending money, changed his mind. He no longer wanted to pool his money, which left my 6 year old high and dry. They wanted smaller toys in the same general toy theme (with over 15 minutes of careful deliberation by my 4 year old). Still, they wouldn't have enough money.

I struck a deal with them. Since I was going to subsidize the original purchase, I would split that subsidy with them. I don't remember the exact numbers now; I'd have to check my blog entry. For the additional amount, I would LOAN it to them, with the provision that I would be taking all their allowance money every week until they paid the debt off (two weeks). They were happy. Well, when allowance time came and I took their money, they were no longer happy. They regretted taking the loan and they wanted to return their toys to the store so that they would no longer be responsible for the loan. This gave a great segue into a talk about financial choices.

They did pay off the loan and they are now wary about borrowing money. We talked about how it was an interest-free loan and what that meant. We talked about how banks work. It was a fantastic learning opportunity, not only wrt math and financial institutions but also about the value of conserving money and spending wisely.

I'm thinking about giving them a 50 cent raise but 25 cents would be marked for their savings account and 25 cents would be marked for charity, no exceptions.
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