Same sex couples and childbirth classes - Page 2

[mamabadger]

Originally Posted by fairydoula

I know it's a little off the topic, but that is the primary reason I didn't pursue bradley method for becoming a CBE. I am looking at birthing from within, it is a TOTALLY better fit for me and doesn't say "Father" and "Husband" to the exclusion of all else. It's a bummer, cause bradley can be a good method... but it has always seemed just a little too ridgid to me.

The Bradley materials I have seen always seemed very male-oriented. The "husband" is always central, the OB second, and the pregnant woman on the periphery. Just my impression. Childbirth classes should focus on the pregnant woman.

[Veritaserum]

I generally use terms like "birthing moms" and "birth partners" when I teach.

[EviesMom]

I like "birthing moms" and "partner" best, personally. When I was pregnant with dd, we did a class that did include a lesbian couple, and also included me, dh, and my poly girlfriend (who were both labor support for me). I recall not feeling weird about the terminology in any way, but I really can't remember beyond knowing she used "partner."

On the other hand, please do NOT use "co-parent." Just because someone is going to act as labor support for a woman does not mean they'll be a co-parent! I had 3 people as support at ds' birth as well--dh and 2 of my best female friends. Neither of the women is a co-parent to ds. They were there to support 1-me and 2-dd, as I had a homebirth and wanted someone to reassure and be with her.

[Rockies5]

Originally Posted by mamabadger

The Bradley materials I have seen always seemed very male-oriented. The "husband" is always central, the OB second, and the pregnant woman on the periphery. Just my impression. Childbirth classes should focus on the pregnant woman.

I hear this a lot and tend to agree.

[ldsapmom]

Originally Posted by Rockies5

I hear this a lot and tend to agree.

No surprise there, it is termed, "Husband-coached childbirth." Even the coach-word is something you know stemmed from a man's head, imo.

[AmieV]

Not really sure what else would be expected from something that is based on a concept called "Husband-coached childbirth..." but Bradley has rubbed me the wrong way for a long time, so.

I really like support person, completely simple, all encompassing, and inoffensive (I think!) Thanks!

[conniebonnie]

pregnant partners and supporting partners.
just my two cents.

[Doula Dani]

I know someone that teaches only lesbian couples childbirth ed!!! I'm going to pm you her link- I think you should email her

[Rockies5]

Originally Posted by ldsapmom

Even the coach-word is something you know stemmed from a man's head, imo.

no doubt.

[Rockies5]

has anyone ever had a same sex couple in class? I haven't and I wonder if it's our location or maybe something in our advertising that inadvertantly says "husband"?

[herwitsend]

Thanks everyone for your replies! I am hoping that this couple will be patient with me and help me learn!

BTW, I you MDC mamas!!

[ajmckay36]

I think the Bradley people are stuck in the 1960s and refuse to acknowledge that not everyone these days is married and having a baby. They refuse to get with the times and realize that their insistence on using this term offends people--at one point during our training Jay Hathaway tried to refer to "animal husbandry" as the reason behind the term. Whatever. The entire organization is so backwards I'm surprised they're still around.

I use moms and support persons in this current class. I have a few military moms in my class whose husbands are deployed so I don't need to remind them that "dad" won't be there for their birth...but their doulas will! In past classes everyone has been together, so I've used mom and dad.

I'm a Bradley educator and the "husband coached childbirth" thing annoys the living crap out of me! I changed it to "partner supported childbirth."

[lizzardg]

I think partner would be fine for us. Please also remember that, even as an obstetrician myself, my partner and I are accustomed to people not knowing what to say or how to say it to us. I think most same-sex couples just appreciate the effort. We don't always know the right words either. And, we have "partners" at work and are "partners" at home and this creates all sorts of confusion in conversation all the time- you just have to laugh.

[onlyboys]

Just a note, the movie "It's my body, my baby, my birth" features a lesbian couple! It's kind of an intro to midwifery care in general, so it might be a good option for those of you who want a more inclusive class.

[bcrn]

sooo, last week i had a same sex couple,teaching at the clinic,and had met them before, used the word partner most of the time they seemed fine with it, the only problem i thought they were loving towards each other and it seemed some of the other clients just realized in class that they were a couple, meanwhile i just go ahead and teach, they allneed the same info that i am teaching. just interesting to notice how comfortable i have come with this,and how i notice others reactions of people are different.