Thanks for your thoughts and prayers and so forth mamas, I needed it!
Ella Jade arrived yesterday morning after 27 of the hardest hours of my life...
You may have seen my thread asking about leaking and cramping...I called my midwife as you suggested, and went in at 2 for my already scheduled regular appt. and was already well into first stage of labor (as in the car ride was awful.) Since we lived too far away we just settled in at the birth center. Things moved along fairly quickly, but the baby was clearly not descending, stubbornly posterior, etc. so we were hands and knees, birthing tub, toilet (which I hated) and so forth for much of the afternoon and evening.
By 9, we were at 4 centimeters and very encouraged. I was feeling pretty good at that point...I can do this, we're making progress...it's only a few more hours, that's what I was thinking. I used a lot of the bradley relaxation stuff we'd learned, and it was working really well. Things picked up and the contractions got MUCH closer, MUCH more intense and I was starting think "This is transition, I feel like giving up so this is transition. we're almost there!"
This kept up for a few more hours, and I was getting exhausted. the midwife checked me around 3am and left the room to talk with the doulas...I was so hard into the contractions I didn't even notice she'd left without saying anything. When she came back, she said that we were still at 4 centimeters.
I was somewhat shocked...I thought that SURELY I was at 9 at least, especially with the pressure and the way things were feeling, all the signposts, all the outward signs.
The midwife said we had several options. 1) continue as is, even though It'd been 19 hours since labor began, knowing it was going to take a LOT more work to get the head turned. And the midwife was concerned at the size of the baby. during vaginal checks (which I all but screamed obscenities through) what she was feeling she was convinced was a large baby.
option 2) was call in some medical backup "bells and whistles" and she calls it, and find a way to let me rest so I could have the strength to push when the time came.
She was concerned about how exhausted I was, (frankly, I was ready to die. I was telling this poor dear baby that I didn't even want it if it was this hard. God forgive me! At this point the contractions are on top of each other, and I can't stand, sit or lie or anything without someone holding me) and legally (for her) the clock was running out because of my water breaking that morning.
After a few minutes (between contractions) talking (grunting!) with my husband and my mom, we decided to go with option 2, since it meant the least risk of a c-section.
So we transfered to the hospital, (and I thought the first car ride was bad!) and they immediately put me on antibiotics (because of no GBS test) and some nubane. This took enough edge off that I could form sentences again, and breath through the contractions. The midwife arrived and helped talk us through all the hoopla of labor and delivery...she recommended an epidural so that I could sleep for a few hours, which would give me the best option for staying with a vaginal delivery.
I slept for 2 hours, and woke up at 6 centimeters. They hauled me around to put me on my side, and about 20 minutes later the baby had turned almost completely and was descending picture perfect at 8cm, they put me on my other side and 15 minutes later I was feeling like pushing.
20 minutes of pushing and there she was, 7lbs 10...she wasn't big, she just had her hand up by her face which is what the midwife was feeling during her checks, and was a big reason why progress was so unbelievably hard and slow (besides starting at posterior!)
I have a 2nd degree tear, but other than that we're happy and healthy. She's breastfeeding like a champion, and while it wasn't my ideal birth, this is my ideal baby girl. I oddly don't feel like a failure...I labored naturally and as planned for 19 hours. I feel like I did everything I could, and that I had to make hard decisions to make sure my baby stayed healthy and happy (which she did. she was never in distress.)
Whew! I got it all out! (no pun intended!) I'm absolutely still processing all this. I'm just trying to write it all down while it's still fresh in my mind. thanks again for the encouragement. You mamas here have kept me sane, and given me great advice and I really appreciate it!
Ella Jade arrived yesterday morning after 27 of the hardest hours of my life...
You may have seen my thread asking about leaking and cramping...I called my midwife as you suggested, and went in at 2 for my already scheduled regular appt. and was already well into first stage of labor (as in the car ride was awful.) Since we lived too far away we just settled in at the birth center. Things moved along fairly quickly, but the baby was clearly not descending, stubbornly posterior, etc. so we were hands and knees, birthing tub, toilet (which I hated) and so forth for much of the afternoon and evening.
By 9, we were at 4 centimeters and very encouraged. I was feeling pretty good at that point...I can do this, we're making progress...it's only a few more hours, that's what I was thinking. I used a lot of the bradley relaxation stuff we'd learned, and it was working really well. Things picked up and the contractions got MUCH closer, MUCH more intense and I was starting think "This is transition, I feel like giving up so this is transition. we're almost there!"
This kept up for a few more hours, and I was getting exhausted. the midwife checked me around 3am and left the room to talk with the doulas...I was so hard into the contractions I didn't even notice she'd left without saying anything. When she came back, she said that we were still at 4 centimeters.
I was somewhat shocked...I thought that SURELY I was at 9 at least, especially with the pressure and the way things were feeling, all the signposts, all the outward signs.
The midwife said we had several options. 1) continue as is, even though It'd been 19 hours since labor began, knowing it was going to take a LOT more work to get the head turned. And the midwife was concerned at the size of the baby. during vaginal checks (which I all but screamed obscenities through) what she was feeling she was convinced was a large baby.
option 2) was call in some medical backup "bells and whistles" and she calls it, and find a way to let me rest so I could have the strength to push when the time came.
She was concerned about how exhausted I was, (frankly, I was ready to die. I was telling this poor dear baby that I didn't even want it if it was this hard. God forgive me! At this point the contractions are on top of each other, and I can't stand, sit or lie or anything without someone holding me) and legally (for her) the clock was running out because of my water breaking that morning.
After a few minutes (between contractions) talking (grunting!) with my husband and my mom, we decided to go with option 2, since it meant the least risk of a c-section.
So we transfered to the hospital, (and I thought the first car ride was bad!) and they immediately put me on antibiotics (because of no GBS test) and some nubane. This took enough edge off that I could form sentences again, and breath through the contractions. The midwife arrived and helped talk us through all the hoopla of labor and delivery...she recommended an epidural so that I could sleep for a few hours, which would give me the best option for staying with a vaginal delivery.
I slept for 2 hours, and woke up at 6 centimeters. They hauled me around to put me on my side, and about 20 minutes later the baby had turned almost completely and was descending picture perfect at 8cm, they put me on my other side and 15 minutes later I was feeling like pushing.
20 minutes of pushing and there she was, 7lbs 10...she wasn't big, she just had her hand up by her face which is what the midwife was feeling during her checks, and was a big reason why progress was so unbelievably hard and slow (besides starting at posterior!)
I have a 2nd degree tear, but other than that we're happy and healthy. She's breastfeeding like a champion, and while it wasn't my ideal birth, this is my ideal baby girl. I oddly don't feel like a failure...I labored naturally and as planned for 19 hours. I feel like I did everything I could, and that I had to make hard decisions to make sure my baby stayed healthy and happy (which she did. she was never in distress.)
Whew! I got it all out! (no pun intended!) I'm absolutely still processing all this. I'm just trying to write it all down while it's still fresh in my mind. thanks again for the encouragement. You mamas here have kept me sane, and given me great advice and I really appreciate it!
)
ITA
