Feeling sad...and happy...

[Surfacing]

Hello Mamas,

Four days have passed since dd#2's wonderful birth and I guess it's my turn at the Baby Blues Club. I am enjoying my baby and watching dd#1 enjoy her. Breastfeeding is working out pretty well. I am excited and happy. I had a great birth. I'm just hitting the blues zone.

I miss my older dd. I am not sleeping with her right now as I have the newborn in another room so we can get breastfeeding established and get some sort of rhythm without waking up the household. I am not seeing dd#1 much right now as she's with granny during the days, and then my attention is split at night, mostly focussed on the newborn, nursing. I love my baby, don't get me wrong, I am enjoying her TONS....but I miss my big little girl, you know?

The other thing is that bf went horribly wrong with dd#1, I was unable to overcome our problems and ended up puming for her. Bfing is going blessedly well this time -- we have a little nurser on our hands -- yay! But I've had some common problems (cracked bleeding nipples, latch correction, major pain), have worked my butt off to overcome them, have been successful (so far it looks like! Yay!). Baby was born at 8 lbs 10 oz, was supposed to be at least 7 lbs 12 oz today and measured at 8 lbs. So yay! Clearly feeding is going well! But I have been paranoid and am frankly a little exhausted at being overly attentive and focused on bfing. Sigh. I'm just mentally exhausted on the whole thing at the moment and want to just enjoy without worrying, you know?

I have much to be grateful for and I am happy.....but I also feel sad. I feel a bit like I miss some of the old routines and familiar rhythms of life. I miss dd#1. I feel a little cabin fevered. But I am very grateful and happy for my lovely family.

I feel SO MUCH better this time postpartum than I did the first time. It's actually scary how much of a difference there is.

Thanks for letting me ramble. I've missed my Ddc Gals!!!

So many babies popping out here now! All take care of yourselves....

[organic-momma]

I totally understand where you're coming from! My oldest is only 19 months so he still feels like my baby too and I'm having a hard with not being able to give him my undivided attention like I used to be able to. Plus he's acting out because of the new baby and I hate having to discipline him for throwing things or getting into stuff he's not supposed to. It does get better though! I'm almost 4 weeks PP now and we're establishing new routines and finding it easier to get out of the house, there are still hard days though.

[Surfacing]

4 wks pp and new routines, getting out of house? Good to know. How are you finding balancing housework too with the whole lot?

I hear you on the changing dynamic with the older sibling. Sigh! It's just part and parcel I guess.

[rosie29]

I haven't delivered yet, but I've been worried about missing DS and him getting lost in the shuffle. Hang in there.

[ollineeba]

Take care of yourself, mama. I know it can be such a hard transition. I went through a lot of the same emotions when my second one arrived- and I had similar bf problems with my first and ended up pumping, too.
I am nervous about this little one coming, I think my just-turned 3 yr old dd is really going to have a rough time and I'm worried about being split in so many directions..

[Surfacing]

Originally Posted by ollineeba

I think my just-turned 3 yr old dd is really going to have a rough time and I'm worried about being split in so many directions..

Yes and yet I'm sure your kids will just love to see their new sibling, and take an interest in his or her integration in their lives. You will need to be split in different directions, but they can also give to each other, you know?

Thanks for your posts.

[organic-momma]

Originally Posted by Emese'sMom

4 wks pp and new routines, getting out of house? Good to know. How are you finding balancing housework too with the whole lot?

I hear you on the changing dynamic with the older sibling. Sigh! It's just part and parcel I guess.

The housework isn't too bad actually, my timer has been my best friend. If I'm feeling like the house is a disaster I set the timer for 10 minutes in a room and run around like mad - that's usually about as much time as I can get where the youngest is either in his swing or in his sling with me, and my oldest will play without tearing up the livingroom. If the day is just crazy then I give myself a half an hour in the evening while DH handles the kids - it's amazing what you can accomplish in that short amount of time when it's all you've got.