How are chores handled at your house?

[sweetsensation]

I'm curious, how do you all handle the chores? And then get them to actually do them? It is a struggle just to get ds to brush his teeth. Then today he flat out refused to unload the dishwasher anymore. What chores do you have them do, etc.

[LilyGrace]

The've just always been expected here, since the late toddler years. Right now there's the 'blue lists' - two sets of chores pinned up on the bedroom wall. One is for daily stuff (pick up room, make bed..), the other is for weekend stuff (strip bed, vacuum, dust). Anything needed to be done in the morning or evening is posted and times are set aside each day for them.

It keeps me from nagging and them on track, which is all that matters right now.

[Alyantavid]

We had a chore chart. I put some things I wanted him to do, like make his bed, and then several things that he did willingly every day without trouble. He got a sticker for every time he did what was on the chart. It did really help get him to do what I needed him to do, without a fight. He was completely responsible for his chart, doing what was on it and putting a sticker on if he actually did the chore. It helped a ton, mostly because he was so excited about it. We don't use it anymore since the chores are now just a habit.

[MtBikeLover]

I may end up being in the minority, but we don't really have "chores" as in nothing that is written down and done by one person every day. I expect my kids to help straighten up their toys and their rooms, but beyond that, I don't make them do anything.

I do ask them to put their dishes in the sink when they are done and if I am unloading the dishwasher, they usually want to help me. And DS loves to help do laundry - sorting, putting soap in, turning washer on and putting clothes away. But it is usually him asking to help. Also, they love to use the Swiffer and will sweep the floors for me.

And if they don't feel like helping, then I don't make them. I just don't feel like struggling over this issue.

The only thing I am a stickler on is when someone makes a mess on purpose. I do make them help me clean it up.

[girlmama28]

My girls are 9 and 12 and a chore chart just helps them to know what my expectations are each day, so we always know who unloaded the dishwasher last or who fed the cat. My 3 year old is not on the list because his only "daily" chore is picking up his toys from the living room floor. My girls don't have a lot of chores, but I think it's good for them to realize just what it takes to make a household run. My sister in law left the house at 19 and didn't have any clue how to start the dishwasher or do a load of laundry.

[mamalisa]

I don't have a chart, just things that are expected and extra things I ask ds to do.

Expected: Clothes in laundry, dog fed and watered, turtle fed and watered, put away laundry neatly, empty the dishwasher(weekends only now because of school), room needs to be kept reasonably clean (though I pitch in if he needs help), homework done right after school, he sorts laundry on Friday nights with me too.

Things I typically ask him to do: empty the dryer/switch out laundry if I'm busy, empty small garbage cans, vacuum his room, dust (he likes this one??), help dd pick up her toys (she's 2 and loves to help him), watch dd while I shower, help prep dinner (we like to cook together).

If ds refused to do his chores he would lose privledges. Everyone contributes to our household, it is not my job to do it all. Chores are a basic expectation, not negotiable.

[WuWei]

Model the joy of the doing, rather than that the doing is a "chore". If you want the toys picked up, model being happy about toys being picked up. When we deride the picking up as 'not fun', we model that it is not fun to clean up. Ds happily *helps* to clean up. However, when *I* want things picked up, I pick them up.

Here is an old post of mine about cleaning as a gift, not a chore. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showpost.php?p=9774260&postcount=15

Pat

[MotheringHeart]

We don't have *chores*. We have more of a communal approach to taking care of the house. When you see something that needs doing, you do it. And when you are asked to do something around the house, you do it. We all live in our house together, it is OUR space and so it is everybodies responsibility to help out when it is time to make our space clean.

[amcal]

I think we're getting bogged down in semantics. I'm guessing the OP doesn't treat chores like "chores" - as in something to be bogged down in, something miserable and painful.

I'm guessing her question is do you have a daily set of responsibilities for each of your children and how do you encourage them to accomplish their responsibilities.

We can call it whatever we want - chores, responsibilities etc... but what it comes down to is the OP is wanting to know how to get her kids to help around the house.

I'm very interested in this as well. At this point, I just ask the kids to pick up different their toys, help with the dishes etc... but there is no rhyme or reason to it. I would love to have a list of daily chores/responsibilities.

Those of you with chore charts, can you tell me how you do them? I have two children so do you have lists for each child? Or do you have a master list and the kids mark off what they do? I'd love examples of how you do your lists.

[girlmama28]

Our chart is a daily chart, for example--Monday is D #1's day for dishwasher unloading and D #2's day to feed the cat. Tuesday would therefore be D#1's day to feed the cat and D#2's day to unload the dishwasher. I don't punish per se if chores are not done, and there are days that are crazy or the girls are gone and I just do the chore. Having it written down and agreed upon as we made the chart, we don't have too many problems, though I occasionally have to remind them. Belligerent behavior or nastiness does however result in privileges taken away--no TV time, no computer time, no play dates, etc.., but you have to be willing to enforce these to make them work. We rarely have chore problems, I don't give them any more work than could be done in 30 minutes either, except maybe on a weekend day when they have to change their sheets and vacuum their rooms. But, my kids are 9 and 12, my 3 year old doesn't have this same system. He picks up his toys from the living room, and depending on how many there are he sometimes needs help. --Sorry this got long.

[Alyantavid]

Those of you with chore charts, can you tell me how you do them? I have two children so do you have lists for each child? Or do you have a master list and the kids mark off what they do? I'd love examples of how you do your lists.

We have a chart I made up with every day of the week across the top and down one side is whatever chore it is along with a picture. I have 2 kids but my youngest is 19 months so a little young for chore charts. We use stickers for whatever he's done each day in the evening and he gets to put stickers up and decide if he did actually do what was needed.

[treehugginmama]

Everyone needs to pick up their toys. That's about it. I will ask them to do other things from time to time but that's about it.

[LilyGrace]

Originally Posted by amcal

Those of you with chore charts, can you tell me how you do them? I have two children so do you have lists for each child? Or do you have a master list and the kids mark off what they do? I'd love examples of how you do your lists.

We used to use the magnet boards with each child having their own. They would put a magnet next to whatever they did and keep track that way.

Now, those are outgrown and we have "blue lists" - thick blue tagboard sheets (size of a regular paper) tacked up on the wall. The daily chores are written in rainbow order on one sheet, the weekend chores are written in red on the other sheet. No check offs, no magnets, not charting to see what they did each week. The expectation is that it's done every day so there's no reason to count. The lists are simply reminders.

[neptunemama]

My girls are 8 & 6 and here's a list of what I expect them to help with around the house. They don't have to do all of these alone, I help them with most of them.

I want them to straighten up their beds in the morning.
Pick up toys/games they've been playing with.
Help make dinner (which they love to do b/c I let them use knives!)
Set the table and clear the table after dinner.
Weeding the garden in the summer, and watering the potted plants.

These don't happen every day though. If the girls are involved in a game when it's time to make dinner, I let them continue. I don't have hard and fast rules about helping, but generally these are what my girls help with currently.