Daily Check-In for 1/17 - Page 3

[Mama_Bear]

We need a big ol' group hug today. There is so much sadness, frustration, and fear amongst us today. I put the kettle on before I sat down to write this, so enjoy the virtual cup I'm making all of you.

I went for the non-stress test today. Dh had the day off because this was the day we were supposed to be induced, so he drove me down (hospital is in a town 45 minutes away) and took dd out for some fun. I brought some knitting along to do while having the test done, because normally as soon as you put the Doppler near my belly the little guy goes crazy moving around. Not so today. What an unnerving thing, trying to listen to your baby's heartbeat, not being able to hear it well, having the monitor beeping warning signs every few minutes because it lost the heartbeat again. Ugh. They had a heck of a time even finding the heartbeat b/c it was so high up in my belly. This little baby is refusing to drop, or perhaps has turned breech suddenly? I don't know. Not a reassuring morning to say the least.

MIL called an hour ago (thankfully dh answered the phone this time), freaking out because we weren't at the hospital. Dh told her the induction was bumped until tomorrow, and she insisted AGAIN on coming there to "support" us. Then she was all offended when dh told her we needed to be alone, just the two of us, and we'd call her after the baby was born and we were ready to have her visit. 7 years of near-absense and ignoring us, and suddenly in the last week she wants to be our best friend/labour support/confidante.

Enjoy your tea, ladies. Try to find some comfort and solace this evening.

[Hollysmom]

I think we all need it tonight.

[kehliouise]

i woke up this morning in a very bad mood and just couldn't get myself going. i was complaining about everything, felt sick to my stomach, and just miserable. i got on here though and heard about greatful-bambina's loss and it really put things in perspective. i finally dragged my butt out the door and to the midwife's office, which is two hours away. i was an hour late but she still saw me and didn't rush me or anything. baby's heartbeat was good, but the past several times she has said it was really fast. she didn't say that was bad i was just wondering if it was? i got to meet one of our ddc members in person while i was there, which was great, but didn't get to talk to her as long as i would have liked. just for a minute or two. midwife said i'm two cm dialated, baby is not in pelvis. so i don't know if that means anything or not.

for those with the MIL issues- i also really have them and totally understand. i experienced that with my last pregnancy, but not so much until right after the birth. i didn't mind MIL being around before or during the birth, but immediately afterward i wanted her gone and didn't want her anywhere near me or the baby. she hadn't done anything and was no different than usual, but i just didn't feel safe as you said with her around. she tried to come over and help several days but i eventually made dh tell her to leave because i ended up taking ds and retreating to our bedroom to pretend to sleep. it was miserable. i'm not exactly sure why i felt that way, but the feeling were really intense. i have asked her to come after this birth and watch ds for a few days at our house, but i'm hoping that that wasn't a mistake. i didn't expect those feelings last time, so i may have them again this time. i just really need someone to come and help with ds because dh is going to have to return to work much quicker than we had anticipated and ds is very demanding. i know though that if i have those same feelings as i did last time it is going to be miserable because the living area of our apartment is not very big. MIL and i will be right on top of each other the whole time. i also have a problem excepting help from her because i don't really respect her...if that makes sense.

[hadassah]

I just don't even have words to discribe how sad and effected I am by carrie's loss.....I will admit it scares me because I know these thing happen. So I have been trying to pray and think as positive as I can about myself and my sweet pea....but at the same time I am just so sad for her. I lost a baby girl at 25 wks 5 1/2 years ago. It is just so hard, I can't imagine going all the way only to lose the baby. It has been a fear of mine, this whole pregnancy is still such a surprise for me. Early on I was sure I was miscarrying due to bleeding the entire first three months. I then starting taking progesterone cream and that cleared up everything and here I am. Although sometimes I feel like I still won't believe it until I see this little one face to face. I utterly hate to admit that. To me this really shows how pregnancy and birth is the most amazing miracle ever.

I too wish we could all be together tonight and drink our rrl tea and cry together........you are all in my thoughts and heart.

So all day yesterday and somewhat less but still there today I have had pretty good contractions. They are not regular at all but are a little painful. It feels like intense pressure pressing the baby down on my cervix for a 10-15 second time period. I have not been very good at all about my water intake or rrl intake and I NEED water and rrl tea. So I made myself drink 3 liters (one of water and two of tea) yesterday and I got pretty good sleep and it seemed to all go away. I have to admit I was dissapointed, I really am wanting to have this baby. But I looked at like more time to finish a few more things, just about done organizing my home and cooking meals for the freezer. So that is where I am at tonight....tired but hopeful for by the end of the weekend it will have happened.

Some good news though......it looks like my baby turned!!! All my pelvic tilts have paid off and sleeping on my left side too.....

I also have been belly binding, with a long peice of material. It really helps my back and it gives me great stomach support. I think it too has helped the baby turn. Now if the baby will stay in this position....we will all be good.

taa taa for now....as I go clean my floors on my hands and knees hopefully for the last time for a while.....

[Mama_Bear]

I just got off the phone with the midwife. My induction is supposed to be tomorrow morning. She has another induction scheduled for tomorrow morning at the same hospital, but the other one is more urgent than mine. All this time they've been warning me about the dangers of high sugar levels from my gestational diabetes, and now that I've got them it's not so urgent to get the baby out? I'm so freaking frustrated. I just want my little boy out now so that I know that he's safe.

[HardCoreMom]

so now they're going to delay your induction again?

i'm sorry for all of this. it must be awfully difficult to get yourself focused for the birth of your babe, only to have those plans changed... for a second time.

is there any chance that your mw would go ahead with both inductions?

[Mama_Bear]

Yes, she will go ahead with both inductions. She'll do the other girl first, and then me, as long as the hospital has room for me. I have to call the hospital tomorrow morning at 6:30 and check to see if they have time and space for me. The other girl has priority over me, though.

I think the hardest thing about today was when dh went into our daughter's bedroom this morning and explained that her brother wasn't coming today. She was devastated. She's just 4, but is SO incredibly excited to be a big sister. She cried. Not a temper tantrum, but a "my heart is broken" cry. Poor thing. I cried this morning, too.

[MamaFern]

mamabear im sorry that you keep getting bumped back..waiting is So hard. your daughter sounds like such a sweet girl and she will be sooo happy when that baby finally comes.

i had a rough day. probably one of my worst this whole pregnancy. im a bit better now.. i talked to my midwife, who is at the hospital with a 36 week mama who just had her water break on her. she is GBS positive, was planning a perfect home birth and is now hooked up on pitocin, but labor is not going anywhere..
another gentle reminder that being overdue isn't so bad.. though at moments it sure feels that way...

she(midwife) is going to come over tomorrow morning to do another stretch&sweep. im feeling like this baby needs to come, and soon. i need to get going home before February comes and goes! if i was at home i wouldn't be feeling this way, i would let nature take its course, but this is going on too long and its too hard on everyone involved. once baby is here im sure the 2 weeks pp will go quickly and then we will be packing up and on our way. ive never missed "home" so much.

my partner just did a bunch of acupressure on me..i made a yummy supper and im knitting yet another pair of longies because somehow knitting makes me feel better (most of the time) oh, that motherwort tincture really takes the edge off too.

ive been having contractions all day for days...
tomorrow would be a good day to have a baby.