not always picking up after his work-what to do?

[Neptune2]

HI all!
I have a 2 1/2 year old, he stays here with me all the time. We have applied several M techniques here including picking up after finishing something. DS is good at this most of the time, and does clean up. But sometimes, like last night, he just won't replace the things he used on the shelves, he knows he should do it, I remind him gently to, but he just does not do it. And when that happens, I just don't know how to react. What should I do or say? Leave the material there, pick it up myself...I just don't know

Can somebody help me out? What did you or what do you do when faced with a situation like that?

TIA!

[BCFD]

I have an almost 2 1/2 year old DD and she is like a little whirlwind. She doesn't hesitate to pull everything off every shelf and just sit in the pile and play like that. Drives me crazy. : So, I will direct her to pick up and put something back on the shelf before we start a new task. She (and my other 2 children) have a lot of free play around the house during the day with their toys and I encourage them to keep their things picked up. If I enter their playroom and see everything in disarray I make them stop what they are doing and have them pick up. I tell them, "We have to put this back so when we go to play with it again we'll know where to find it." I don't think I've ever had them NOT clean up, but if they didn't listen they would get choices: Pick up or sit on the chair. Choices work great in this house because they do NOT want to sit on the chair.

Is your son simply ignorning your request? What type of discipline technique do you use?

[Neptune2]

thanks SO much for your reply, I really appreciate it!

When I wrote what I wrote, did, because he was just ignoring my request, thus me not knowing how to react.

I am a gently discipline type of mom. I work a lot with redirection, never raise my voice, but rather pulling down to his level and explaining trying to find solution to resolve the situation.
For instance, last night, he spilled water on the floor. After the "Oh no!some water fell on the floor" to make him realize what had happened, I asked him what we could do to resolve the problem, he went to the laundry room, took towel, and patted the floor until it was dry.

I never punish, try never to blame in the way I talk, and try not to say no a zillion times a day. I give loads of choice (do you want to go take you bath now or in 10 minutes) but of course, for some things, I cannot allow choices (when it comes to security or stuff like that.). I never send to his room or stuff like that, I am more of an unconditional love type of parent. I am not a praising parent, I don't believe in rewards and all that.
So when he reacts that way which kinda seems like retaliation to me, I just don't know where it comes from, or why he is acting that way.

These might not exactly fit the M methods, but I am new to those, and trying to implement them more in my life.
He does go once a week to a playgroup on his own that he does enjoy BTW.

if somebody know why these reactions, I would love to hear any ideas you have.

[BCFD]

Even the most well behaved 2 1/2 year old is going to test the waters at some point. Maybe he just wants to gauge your reaction to see if you're going to be consistent? Maybe you can try a choice. You can pick up your toys and put them back on the shelf or mommy can do it. If mommy does it, the consequence will be ______ (and fill in the blank with whatever you feel most comfortable with). I would fill that blank in with "the fun will stop and you can have a seat on the chair. Which do you choose?" Then I would explain to them why we pick up our things. Good luck!