Budgeting for a Wedding

[polyhymnia]

I'm planning my wedding. I'm not posting this in the Shoestring thread because I'm not very good at being on a shoestring for my wedding!

I would, however, like to make sure that there are no surprises and everything is accounted for. We're getting to the point of choosing a venue, photographer, gown, etc and I want to know what I can afford. I have an overall amount of money in mind that I want to spend, but I don't know for sure what I need to spend it on. So far I have:

-church
-officiant
-license fees
-flowers
-reception site rental fees/tables/chairs
-food/servers
-booze/drinks/bartender
-cake/cake cutting
-dress/shoes/veil for me
-tux rental for DP
-tux rentals/gowns for wedding party if we can afford to do this I would really like to since we are asking them to fly & stay in a hotel to attend our wedding (it's in the town where I grew up not where we live now)
-two plane tickets for us (to fly to where the wedding is!)
-invitations, save the dates, RSVP cards and postage
-photographer!! (super important to us)

So... what am I forgetting?? I get really overwhelmed by all of these wedding planning websites that say to spend $30k and do everything three years in advance, so, I'm hoping that you all here will have more appropriate advice. Thanks!!

[katheek77]

music/dj?

[Tradd]

What about music for the church? Is the organist/pianist included in the church fee, or is it extra?

For wedding programs, you can easily do them yourself,

The rings!

[polyhymnia]

Originally Posted by katheek77

music/dj?

Thanks! We're going to put a playlist on an ipod but we do need to rent sound equipment.

[soygurl]

My only advice is to check out IndiBride (their forum is especially helpful!).

[cjr]

Wedding bands. Dh and I forgot about buying wedding bands until a week before. Not a good thing to forget.

[polyhymnia]

Originally Posted by soygurl

My only advice is to check out IndiBride (their forum is especially helpful!).

Thank you, that is great and I hadn't seen it before!

Originally Posted by cjr

Wedding bands. Dh and I forgot about buying wedding bands until a week before. Not a good thing to forget.

Thank you!! I totally forgot about those. I know what I want, but DP hasn't decided if he wants one yet

[Emmeline II]

I'm not sure what types of venues you are looking at, but Masonic Temples (fraternal order/not religion) usually rent out and you may be able to hire one of their youth groups (Rainbow, DeMolay) as servers, and one of the adults to run the bar (if you want one). My BIL was a bartender for many a function at Masonic Temples.

My ILs bough wine to have at the tables, I don't think we had a bar. Many of our guests were underage anyway.

Our wedding was about $5000. Dh was in Alaska, I was in Germany, the ILs were in Texas and the wedding was in NY (my family). We were married at the chapel on the grounds of the VA Hospital my youth group volunteered at because our wedding was small (about 45 people). Our engagement was about 9months, but the wedding was probably planned in 6 because we were not sure what country we were having it in (FIL was due to PCS at that time from Italy).

If you have an organist you will have to pay for that as well.

If I had been in the states we probably could have done the wedding cheaper. Walmart has soooooooo much that you can use to do things yourself: invitations, favors, tiara/veil, etc. Consider artificial flowers; they may be cheaper. I had real and the water from the flowers bled the ribbon onto my dress (thank goodness for shout wipes). Think carefully about what you want to spend on this one day.

[mamamilkers]

here's the list of what I have come up with for my wedding:

Engraved rings for our DDs plus necklaces
Bridesmaids gifts
Groomsmen gifts
My wedding dress and shoes
My ring getting fixed
Ceremony location
My DD's dresses and shoes
Flowers for ceremony/reception
Candles/decorations for the reception location
Gift (or cash) for officiant
Cost of food and alcohol
Cost of dessert
Save the Date card design
Save the Date cards printing
Save the Date cards postage
Invitation design
Invitation printing
Invitation postage
Ceremony programs printing
DF's ring
Hotel room for the night of the wedding
Gift (or cash) to photographer
Marriage license
Thank you cards
Thank you cards postage
Reception band cost
Ceremony musician cost
Yoga session for morning of the wedding
Backdrop for silly photos at the reception
Wedding website

I should add we're having our wedding in Seattle and are budgeting $5,000. We are paying for all of it ourselves and the money is coming from DF's tax return and his quarterly bonuses. If for some reason that doesn't cover it all, which it really should, we'll put it on the cc and pay it off with the money we already know we are getting as wedding gifts from our parents.

[polyhymnia]

Originally Posted by mamamilkers

here's the list of what I have come up with for my wedding:

Engraved rings for our DDs plus necklaces
Bridesmaids gifts
Groomsmen gifts
My wedding dress and shoes
My ring getting fixed
Ceremony location
My DD's dresses and shoes
Flowers for ceremony/reception
Candles/decorations for the reception location
Gift (or cash) for officiant
Cost of food and alcohol
Cost of dessert
Save the Date card design
Save the Date cards printing
Save the Date cards postage
Invitation design
Invitation printing
Invitation postage
Ceremony programs printing
DF's ring
Hotel room for the night of the wedding
Gift (or cash) to photographer
Marriage license
Thank you cards
Thank you cards postage
Reception band cost
Ceremony musician cost
Yoga session for morning of the wedding
Backdrop for silly photos at the reception
Wedding website

I should add we're having our wedding in Seattle and are budgeting $5,000. We are paying for all of it ourselves and the money is coming from DF's tax return and his quarterly bonuses. If for some reason that doesn't cover it all, which it really should, we'll put it on the cc and pay it off with the money we already know we are getting as wedding gifts from our parents.

Wow, thanks!! I really appreciate this list We are having our wedding in NH where I am from, unfortunately. I would love to have it here but it is more important to me that my extended family be able to attend, so NH it is. Ah, well.

Not all of those things apply for me but it is a great starting list.

Here are some things I know I will be saving on:
-no dj/band; we are just having an ipod playlist. we do need to rent sound equipment
-a friend is designing and making my (letterpress!!) invitations for me, for the cost of materials
-a friend is performing the ceremony, this will be his gift to me (so free)
-a friend is making the cake, again, this is my gift (so free)
-we are using more greenery and natural items and fewer flowers, and all around having less flowers/decorations to save plants (and money)
-we are having a lunch reception rather than dinner
-i am wearing my grandmother's dress (made by my great grandmother), so I just need to pay to have it pressed

Here are some things I know we are going to spend a lot of money on:
-photographer. this is very important to us as it will be the one thing we take away from this day.
-excellent food. we went to a wedding recently where we didn't know what we were eating (I thought pork, fiance thought chicken, another guest at our table thought beef and yet another one thought turkey!).
-beautiful church. It's really lovely and right on the beach. Our guests are travelling from out of town so we want to give them a real NH experience (still it's only $500 - it's just that it is $200 more than another church I could have used).

[lisalulu]

One thing we forgot to budget in was food for the people working the wedding-the caterer probably knows who its appropriate for (I forget)-I think the photog, musicians, etc.

If you're going to have special wedding jewelry and if you need any special undergarments for the dress/night of.

[polyhymnia]

Originally Posted by lisalulu

One thing we forgot to budget in was food for the people working the wedding-the caterer probably knows who its appropriate for (I forget)-I think the photog, musicians, etc.

If you're going to have special wedding jewelry and if you need any special undergarments for the dress/night of.

Oh, great tip, thank you! I'll add the photographers to the meal list.

I am trying to decide if I want an organist at the church. I think my parents might be willing to pay for the musicians during the ceremony, that would be nice.

[mamamilkers]

I didn't see on your list the cost of invites/postage. Postage is crazy expensive, plus you have to send a stamped RSVP card inside the invite!

[polyhymnia]

Originally Posted by mamamilkers

I didn't see on your list the cost of invites/postage. Postage is crazy expensive, plus you have to send a stamped RSVP card inside the invite!

Thanks, it's under the plane tickets. I'm actually thinking about splurging a bit and buying those special stamps with a picture of us on them

But - I did just realize - I had been counting invites based on our guest list (ie 80 guests = 80 invitations) but there are a bunch of two to four person families being invited, so it will end up being fewer than 50 invitations. YAY for that!

[Bellejar]

Go to a bookstore and buy a wedding budget book. This was the best $7 investment I made. It gives you a breakdown of approximately how much of your budget each item should be. Great resource.