Advice for Doulas Thread - Page 2

[BirthIsAwesome]

I NEVER thought about nut allergies! THANK YOU for alerting me!!! I will get olive oil and be sure to question anyone before I use almond oil again, if I do.

[tlcdoula]

Originally Posted by BirthIsAwesome

yarngoddess--is this reasonable to you? I've been struggling with needing to make some money after doing many free births, but I want EVERY woman to have a doula that wants one. What would you suggest for couples that can't afford me--sliding scale (where would I find one), barter, payment plan, discount ect.--and how do I offer it without people that CAN afford it taking advantage of me?

Sorry to hijack the thread, I hope no one minds. Thanks for any input!

I don't really think this question can simply be answered here because we all live in different areas and what is cheap in one area could be expensive in another!

For the clients that I have taken on that are looking for a cheaper doula I will either refer them to newer doulas or if I feel that connection I will offer them a sliding scale. The way I have always done it was to explain what my service entails, what it costs and then ask them to seriously consider what the service means to them and come up with a price. Those that have asked for a reduced rate often haven't come back asking for too much off. I also offer clients a way of making the money - I sell Mary Kay products and so offer them fundraising by selling Mary Kay and then the profits that I would have made go to their doula fee. I do this because I believe if someone wants something bad enough they wouldn't be against working for it. I know some won't agree, but I have a family who needs my income and I cannot simply continue to give it away for free either. If someone is willing to work to get the money then I feel better about the whole situation and don't feel like I am being taken advantage of which I have felt in the past when I had people who asked for reduced rates and then find out they just bought a new car or whatever. I knew a family who had several large, flat screen t.v.s who wanted a discount and from our interview to me coming back they bought another one. I know some will say that you can't always judge by that because of debt, etc but in my eyes if I agree to a reduced fee and you buy a new t.v. you could have not gotten the t.v. and paid for my services.

In any event I have found that those who really want my services will find some way to pay for it or will pay for most of it even if that means a payment plan. I had a woman once who asked if she could pay me two months after the birth and I agreed and she did.

[tlcdoula]

Originally Posted by yarngoddess

I, on the other hand had asked 3 doula's about a reduced fee, and was shut down very rudely. So while I understand your wanting to protect your finances, sometimes you could take a risk too...

I don't want to be mean here, but would you ever consider asking your mortgage company / landlord, phone company, gas / electric company, grocery store, or anyone else for a discount on services? I guess that is something I have a hard time with when I hear it. Unfortunately being in the caring and giving profession that we are in, often times people don't quite realize when they make a statement like that how upsetting it can be. To me hearing that statement makes me feel like my services aren't as much of value as others. I know you didn't mean it that way, but this is a job for us too. In fact I gave up a job making $50,000 a year because I had such a passion for this work to make a measily $18,000 last year (which includes many services just to make that amount - massage therapy, labor doula, postpartum doula, childbirth education) and that was prior to me paying my office rent, phone bill, insurance, continuing education and trainings, etc. My profession has actually cost my family money, so when you talk about protecting my finances - well mine are way in the hole because I have such a passion for what I do.

[AmieV]

*Birth is AMAZING- and we know that, but please try not to act like a little kid in a candy store. We are glad that your excited, and glad that you love your job, but we still NEED you once the baby is here.

What does this mean exactly???


*Please don't leave until we have been clened up, sat back up, gotten some juice and some food. It would be ideal for you to stay until we get transfered rooms, but that isn't always possible. At least until we are upright, with drinks.

I would really like some more input on this. I know for myself personally, and the birth I went to recently, it was much more important to create that "family space"...to me it seems very natural to leave once mom is semi-cleaned up, nursing, with a drink...but before the room transfer (although here it is standard to spend 2 hours in your labor room, and basically everyone clears out for bonding). So I left basically 10-15 minutes after the other nurses/midwife did. Family was settled and honestly I just felt like I was intruding on their space. However, when she did have her room transfer, she had a massive hemmorhage. Dad was already with baby, they had to go track him down, and things were very dramatic for a little bit. WAY more dramatic than anything that had happened at their very lovely birth. I felt terrible that I wasn't there to support them through it.

How have other doulas resolved things like this? Do some of you stay, but not in the room? Or is it just one of those things? I know most of the contracts I have ever seen usually only include the first hour after birth or so...

[Rockies5]

Originally Posted by AmieV

How have other doulas resolved things like this? Do some of you stay, but not in the room? Or is it just one of those things? I know most of the contracts I have ever seen usually only include the first hour after birth or so...

I know for myself, I am there until I'm told to go.

I'm clear with the parents up front that I will fade into the backround but I will be there until baby is feeding well and mom is stable OR until they tell me to go. Typically I try to sit where in a corner or a table and do some notes. I'll take pictures if they are open to that, but I let everyone know at the first interview that I don't mind staying at all.

[tlcdoula]

Originally Posted by AmieV

*Birth is AMAZING- and we know that, but please try not to act like a little kid in a candy store. We are glad that your excited, and glad that you love your job, but we still NEED you once the baby is here.

What does this mean exactly???


*Please don't leave until we have been clened up, sat back up, gotten some juice and some food. It would be ideal for you to stay until we get transfered rooms, but that isn't always possible. At least until we are upright, with drinks.

I would really like some more input on this. I know for myself personally, and the birth I went to recently, it was much more important to create that "family space"...to me it seems very natural to leave once mom is semi-cleaned up, nursing, with a drink...but before the room transfer (although here it is standard to spend 2 hours in your labor room, and basically everyone clears out for bonding). So I left basically 10-15 minutes after the other nurses/midwife did. Family was settled and honestly I just felt like I was intruding on their space. However, when she did have her room transfer, she had a massive hemmorhage. Dad was already with baby, they had to go track him down, and things were very dramatic for a little bit. WAY more dramatic than anything that had happened at their very lovely birth. I felt terrible that I wasn't there to support them through it.

How have other doulas resolved things like this? Do some of you stay, but not in the room? Or is it just one of those things? I know most of the contracts I have ever seen usually only include the first hour after birth or so...

I am very open and honest with the families I work with and let them know during our prenatal visits that I expect the same of them and tell them that if I stay too long to please tell me good-bye and if I say I am leaving to early to please tell me to stay. I also always ask them if it is okay that I leave before I do and have never had a family tell me they wanted me to stay longer.

[proudmamanow]

subbing and hoping to have time to read later

[Doula Dani]

Originally Posted by tlcdoula

I don't want to be mean here, but would you ever consider asking your mortgage company / landlord, phone company, gas / electric company, grocery store, or anyone else for a discount on services? I guess that is something I have a hard time with when I hear it. Unfortunately being in the caring and giving profession that we are in, often times people don't quite realize when they make a statement like that how upsetting it can be. To me hearing that statement makes me feel like my services aren't as much of value as others. I know you didn't mean it that way, but this is a job for us too. In fact I gave up a job making $50,000 a year because I had such a passion for this work to make a measily $18,000 last year (which includes many services just to make that amount - massage therapy, labor doula, postpartum doula, childbirth education) and that was prior to me paying my office rent, phone bill, insurance, continuing education and trainings, etc. My profession has actually cost my family money, so when you talk about protecting my finances - well mine are way in the hole because I have such a passion for what I do.

I just have to chime in and say I agree. I felt strange asking for the amount I wanted to charge originally, and ended up asking for much less. The truth of the matter is, I leave my family in my spare time (which is very very little I should note) to go be with pregnant mamas and their families for hours on end for prenatals, and god knows how long during their labor. And while I absolutely 100% adore doing it, I believe that that sort of energy exchange is very deserving of being paid well. I think that if you can't afford a doula, you should set up a payment plan. I'd be more than willing to find something affordable for I think any family. And I should note that I do a free birth here and there for the mamas that I believe really. truly. need it. I don't think that would be possible if you're giving discounts left and right and then a mama really in need wouldn't have the opportunity to have a doula for free. Anyway...ramble ramble.

[gemasita]

Originally Posted by tlcdoula

In fact I gave up a job making $50,000 a year because I had such a passion for this work to make a measily $18,000 last year.

I hear ya sister. I went from $72,000 to $12,000 last year. And DH makes $30,000. All because I love being a doula. Most of my clients are in WAY better finiancial shape than me.

I charge $450 and everyone keeps telling me that is way too low. Other doulas in the area are charging $600 or more but many of them are more experienced than me and I feel comfortable with my fee.

[BirthIsAwesome]

The cheapest doula in Fayetteville (besides me) is $450 and the most expensive is $1000.

[Meche]

I agree with tlcdoula and douladani. It is upsetting to hear "take a risk" when the whole lifestyle and committment to this vocation is one huge risk. Investing in the education and supplies to have a life as a doula often contributed to family debt--but we do it anyways because we love birth and want to help women. After expenses and hours of work, the return on investment is nil for most of the doulas I know.

Rather than spending energy on finding the lowest cost doula, why don't clients spend more time lobbying their insurance companies for reimbursement? Is it so much easier to ask a doula to lower a fair fee than to write a letter to the company to acknowledge that her services will help reduce their claims?

[Writerbird]

I live in the DC metro area. My husband and I lost our jobs two months after buying a house, found new ones, and are relocating three weeks after I give birth. Oh, and while I got a great job, I happened to get the offer the day I found out I was pregnant, and accepted it without asking what kind of paid maternity leave I would get... and the answer is none.

So when I say you all are drastically undercharging and I am happily, HAPPILY paying more for my doula? I am deadly serious.

I hired a group, by the way - three fantastic women who each do a prenatal visit covering different topics, who rotate being "on call" for births and watch each other's children during births.

Seriously, y'all, I'm cutting a lot of corners to afford this but I'd rather eat glass than ask these women for a discount. If they offered some sort of barter system, I'd sign up, but they don't, so we can do without going out to dinner, YKWIM?

I just die inside when I see people selling themselves short. Especially women, meeting women's needs.

[sacredma]

Originally Posted by Writerbird

I hired a group, by the way - three fantastic women who each do a prenatal visit covering different topics, who rotate being "on call" for births and watch each other's children during births.

Seriously, y'all, I'm cutting a lot of corners to afford this but I'd rather eat glass than ask these women for a discount. If they offered some sort of barter system, I'd sign up, but they don't, so we can do without going out to dinner, YKWIM?

I just die inside when I see people selling themselves short. Especially women, meeting women's needs.

thanks for your post, i totally agree with what you said about women selling themselves short. i appreciate how much you value the service you are getting and hope that more women feel that way.

it is true that most of my clients make more money than me and they never haggled me on the price. i also work with another doula, like the group you described and it seems to work well. anyway, i kind of know when someone really cant afford our full fee and i will gladly work with them on a reduction or payment plan.

[KristinDoula]

Originally Posted by Writerbird

I live in the DC metro area. My husband and I lost our jobs two months after buying a house, found new ones, and are relocating three weeks after I give birth. Oh, and while I got a great job, I happened to get the offer the day I found out I was pregnant, and accepted it without asking what kind of paid maternity leave I would get... and the answer is none.

So when I say you all are drastically undercharging and I am happily, HAPPILY paying more for my doula? I am deadly serious.

I hired a group, by the way - three fantastic women who each do a prenatal visit covering different topics, who rotate being "on call" for births and watch each other's children during births.

Seriously, y'all, I'm cutting a lot of corners to afford this but I'd rather eat glass than ask these women for a discount. If they offered some sort of barter system, I'd sign up, but they don't, so we can do without going out to dinner, YKWIM?

I just die inside when I see people selling themselves short. Especially women, meeting women's needs.

That was such a nice post to read!

[QueenOfThePride]

Advice from a client:

Just because I'm yelling loud, doesn't mean I can't hear. You don't need to get loud when I'm loud. I'd still prefer to be talked to quietly.

[Doula Dani]

Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride

Advice from a client:

Just because I'm yelling loud, doesn't mean I can't hear. You don't need to get loud when I'm loud. I'd still prefer to be talked to quietly.

I almost forgot what this thread was about. Hee hee.

I would agree- a quiet voice is more soothing. Then again, everyone is so different!!!! I had a woman at the last birth I went to that wanted to listen to dance music!!! So listen to dance music we did. Not what I'd expect from everyone though....

[Rockies5]

Originally Posted by QueenOfThePride

Advice from a client:

Just because I'm yelling loud, doesn't mean I can't hear. You don't need to get loud when I'm loud. I'd still prefer to be talked to quietly.

It's really upsetting to hear a doula raised her voice with you. I hope you gave her honest feedback for that and anything else you found (or felt later) wasn't what you needed at the time.

[Doula Dani]

Originally Posted by Rockies5

It's really upsetting to hear a doula raised her voice with you. I hope you gave her honest feedback for that and anything else you found (or felt later) wasn't what you needed at the time.

I wonder if she was perhaps trying to match your tone though...

I remember being taught that by Penny Simkin. That if a woman is vocalizing, it can be nice for her if you match her sounds. Perhaps makes her feel less conscious of her noises.

Or was she literally yelling at you?

[Doula Dani]

Originally Posted by KristinDoula

That was such a nice post to read!

Oh, and a yeah that. It's nice to know that we're appreciated.