My 5 year old wants a game boy for his birthday

[racermom]

… and nothing else. He is turning 5 in two weeks and I feel he is a little too young for it. I have to say that he is generally drawn very much to a certain kind of entertainment. He loves Yu-gi-oh, Pokemon and if it were after him he would watch all these shows every day. I'm a mean mom though and limit it to the weekends. This is tough on me because I resent this kind of things and I wish he wouldn't be so fascinated by it. However, I always felt that if I forbade things radically he would only be drawn more to it. How do you handle these things. Gameboys in particular seem to be so counter-productive; they kill any imagination and creativity. I told him that I think he has to wait until he can read and write before I allow him to have a gameboy. I' m usually not an uptight person and try to respect my kids. I know they choose their own friends, hobbies, etc. What I would like to know is do your kids have gameboys and if how old were they when they got them?

[Arduinna]

My dd is almost 14 and she has a gameboy. She has had it for about 5 years. I don't think it's kills imagination or creativity at all. The games she plays are heavy on strategy and require quick thinking too. She also enjoys the pokemon games but doesn't watch the tv shows or movies. I do think that 5 is too young. At least at our house it would be, not saying what you should do. If he does end up getting one at some point, expect a bit of obsession with the new toy, but it all slows down after awhile. As with most things moderation is the key.

[sohj]

Re: My 5 year old wants a game boy for his birthday

I read the thread topic line and thought "Yeah? Well I remember wanting a horse. That's life." Then I read Arduinna's reply and thought, well, yeah, moderation in all things.

Oth, just another perspective, when I was little, we didn't ask for specific gifts, and we still don't in my family. My husband's family does and they get annoyed when I don't tell them what I want for some occasion. (But, I really can't ask for a gift, I just can't make myself do it. )

My parents thought that one should appreciate the fact the giver wants to give something and that that was more important than the actual gift. Of course, they also tried to pick out something that they really thought I'd like. And, I've got to say, I think they always succeeded.

[mamaduck]

My son is turning 7 soon. Dh and I both feel strongly that he is too young for a gameboy. It is difficult enough to limit his TV viewing time, and his use of the computer. We just can't bring ourselves to add another thing to struggle over.

Our objection is that his time and energy is finite, and he has a heck of a lot to learn. Just like we avoid filling his tummy with food that won't help him grow, we want to avoid filling his time with activities that will not nourish his mind and soul. Anytime that he might spend playing with a gameboy would be precious time *not* spent reading, writing, playing, socializing, soaking up sun and fresh air, snuggling, creating things with craft supplies, exersizing, thinking grand thoughts, etc...

Of course -- I agree that in moderation, playing electronic games is fun and not a big deal. (Just like I think junk food is fun for special occasions or when a treat is warrented.) I wouldn't object to him playing non-violent gameboy games at a friend's house now and then. But I just *know* if it were in our house -- it would become a time monopolizer.

That doesn't really address the heart of your problem -- how to help a 5 yo to cope with extreme dissapointment if you end up saying "no." That is a really tough one, I know. I *hate* to dissapoint my kids -- it just kills me. If you decide against it, I suggest you talk with him about it well before his birthday, and make sure you are very clear about it so that he doesn't harbor any secret hopes -- then maybe he can get past it before his birthday and hopefully enjoy a happy day anyway.

[veggiewolf]

Our DS was in first grade when he got his GameBoy Color - it was for his seventh birthday. Again, it was what he wanted more than anything, so we got it. We're huge gamers in our house...

But we limit it. He's allowed to use the GameBoy (GBA now) only when he asks and he hasn't exceeded his gaming limit for the day. He tends to only use it on long car trips anyway - when he's home he'd rather read or build Lego.

Of course, I was given a GBA SP for my birthday...1 month before they were released in the US so...

Edited to add: I think having the goal of him learning to read and write before he gets one is a perfect goal, especially since the games he'd want involve much reading. Go Mom, Go!

[Piglet68]

moving this to the childhood years forum...

[Kirsten]

Dd1 just got a Gameboy (Advance SP) for her 7th birthday last month. Some of her friends have had one for years but I wanted to wait (she also got an American Girl doll this year - another thing many of her friends have had for years but we waited).

Like the tv/vcr in the car (if you have followed that thread) it is all the rage when new but wears off to a little a day - for us within three weeks. The first week or so, she carried it around with her all day and slept with it on her bedside stand at night. But now she often times isn't even sure if it is upstairs or downstairs.

I am not a big fan of it but it is ok. I remember loving Atari - playing Pacman and Frogger and Donkey Kong. I also swam and read and had a tree fort and talked on the phone and wrote to my pen pal and watched MTV and rode my bike. It is just one thing to do.

That said, I do think that 5 is young for it. Hard call. If it were me, and I did get it for him, I wouldn't want what my kids call "the fighting games". They aren't allowed to watch "the fighting shows" - also known as the "not nice shows" or play the games of the same nature. There are tons of games available - would he still want it if he couldn't have certain games for it? Will you be able to control it once he has one - what if relatives buy him games you aren't crazy about?

Good luck figuring it out. I agree that if you decide against it to tell him well ahead of the big day.
Kirsten

[khrisday]

I would show him the box where it says "Ages 6 and up", and hold him off another year. Some of the games do require you to be able to read and write.
That being said, my 7 yr old has a GBA and it is not a big issue for us. We bought it just before he was 7 to use on car trips and in places where we have to wait (doctor's offices, etc). He uses whenever he wants- unrestricted access, but he doesn't use it very much.

[sadean]

I allowed my ds#1 to buy a used GBA when he was seven with his own allowance/birthday money. He opted to upgrade to a GBA SP when he turned eight. He buys all of his games used at his dad's store, and he must have parental approval for all purchases. He has a couple Mario games, two Pokemon games, and an assortment of other non-violent games. He is allowed unlimited access, but if he plays with it for longer than I deem appropriate, I tell him to turn it off and he (usually) is compliant. He mostly plays it in the car on trips.

I refused the earlier inclination/desire to make such a purchase when he was younger. I think it is very appropriate to set an age/reading skill criteria. I certainly would not have purchased one for him, but he wanted to spend his own money on it, so I relented. We are also a "gamer geek" family.

[Kirsten]

Just had an idea - would you be comfortable with getting him a LeapPad for his birthday? We got our girls those to use on long car trips and they do like them. Dd1 has the regular LeapPad (got when she was 5 I think) and dd2 has the Jr. LeapPad (got when she was 2). They are more educational as they help with learning letters, words, sentence structure, etc. There are also games and fun parts to it so it is a mixture of learning and playing. Could be a compromise so he could get a step closer to the Gameboy?
Kirsten

[racermom]

Thanks for all your posts. I hasn't even crossed my mind that you have to be able to read and write to play most of the games. I have to admit I grew up before everybody had Atari or it might have hit Europe later so I'm not really familiar with all that stuff. I've heard of power stations, nintendos, atari and all of that and, I just want to keep them out of the house as long as possible. However, I guess you are right it's just another novelty that eventually will wear off. THe Leap Pad sounds like a good idea and I'll check into that. DS will have to wait until he is a couple of years older.