Does this make sense

[2pinks]

Why is it that people think that the only way to bond w/ a baby is by feeding? I'm sure this is going to be worded wrong, so, please bear w/ me. I just think it's one of those things that make you go "hmmm". I mean, my mom was aggravated w/ me for wanting to bf b/c she wouldn't get to feed Naomi. I pump and leave a bottle of bm if dh and I have the rare "date night." I guess what I'm trying to say is what is it that people find so special about being able to feed a baby, but, bath time, playing on the floor w/ them, etc, is viewed as less important. Why is feeding the baby a big reason for bonding? Does this make sense? If someone understands what I'm saying and can word it better, please feel free to do so. Just some random ramblings today I guess.

[Decca]

I understand what you're saying, and the irony of it is that I think some ways of promoting breastfeeding as "bonding" contributes to that problem.

I have to say, my husband has given our son most of his baths and they've bonded so much over that. My husband is fully engaged with the baby during this time....and frankly, when I nursed, especially during those long newborn nursing sessions, I was watching tv or reading, which is hardly bonding!

[yarngoddess]

That is one of those society/human things that I don't understand! I never have.

[BetsyS]

People just like to feed people, I think. My grandma used to get great pleasure out of baking us a cake or making us dinner and feeding us. "Eat! Eat!", she'd say. So, I would guess at least some of it is how we as a culture view food/feeding loved ones.

[GooeyRN]

I pumped and bottle fed my dd. She couldn't bf. I now bf my ds. I don't notice a difference in bonding due to feeding. I find co-sleeping the greatest way to bond with both of them, then baby wearing. I guess everyone bonds in different ways.

[JessBB]

Originally Posted by GooeyRN

I find co-sleeping the greatest way to bond with both of them, then baby wearing.

What I find most specious about this "argument" against bf'ing is that A LOT of people who use it would only be giving a bottle once, like visiting g'parents, or are anti-bf'ing dads who are too uncreative or lazy to find any other way to bond with their baby. How a dad could be vehemently anti-cosleeping but want to give one dang bottle to "bond" boggles my mind!

[gcgirl]

I think we are also conditioned in our culture to think about babies in behaviorist terms. People assume eating is a baby's primary need, rather than warmth and comfort.

[LittlePeanut]

I think it's that belly-full glossy-eyed gaze that the baby gives after getting fed (regardless of how the food got there), kwim? I still think there are a million other ways for others to bond. My family managed to bond just fine with DS even though he has never had a bottle.

LP