Bottles&The Business of Being Born

[sarahla]

OK so the Business of Being Born has great potential I think to reach many people, and get them to question the way birth is regarded, to seek something different, to create change...images are powerful. That's exactly why it totally bugs me that near the end of the film they show Abby and her
8mo son---and she's giving him a bottle! Not being critical of her personal story here, which we really know nothing about. But there it is again,(in a place I would hope/expect notto see it): the message bottles are the norm, you may try to bf but probably you'll end up with the bottle etc...
Anybody else who's seen it and tripped on the bottle thing?

To be fair, of course there is lots of bf'ing in the movie too.

[JessasMilkMama]

Well, since she was the subject of the birth, and apparently she was FF, then I think its only fair to show the truth. Otherwise, would you have asked her to not feed her son during filming? That would have been pretty rude and hurtful. I dont think it was meant to send any sort of message, only that her son was hungry at the time and she was feeding him.

[krystyn33]

That struck me also, but I assumed it was expressed milk in the bottle. The shot of her nursing that tiny babe was just so sweet. I think with all the breastfeeding in the movie and the discussions which spoke of it in a way which put BF as the assumed method/standard of feeding, it was easy for me to let that one go.

[TattoMomK]

Yes, I noticed and thought WTH?

But you know WHAT? A first time mother with a baby in a NICU for any considerable length of time (even a week) is really set up to fail at pumping/ breastfeeding unless she truly knows what she's doing and is more determined than the Bush admin was about going after Saddam Hussein. (Sorry that's the biggest thrive-to I could think of on short notice.) I know women who have suffered it and I know women who have blatantly admitted that the only reason their child was bf past the NICU is because it was a subsequent child.

Soooooooo on that, even though it gave me pause, as I nursed throughout the entire film, I UNDERSTOOD.

[homewithtwinsmama]

I saw her in person a few months ago at a forum for questions. The cesarean recovery was rough on her and bfing just didn't work out (I am sure it was all the usual reasons) according to what she said, though she did not elaborate. She did try to though.

[thismama]

Meh. He was super early, plus c/s, she mentioned in the film they had a hard time with nursing. I assumed nursing didn't work out. Everyone does their best with this stuff, it's not a perfect world.

[gingerbane]

Oooops! Posted on the wrong forum.

[sarahla]

These replies are just what I was looking for...airing something out that gets on rotation in your head can be very helpful so that you can go "no no, don't have it quite right". So thanks!
In the past year or so I have talked with many moms who have stopped breastfeeding due to lack of support and /or misguided information, often under the auspices of health professionals. This has been eye-opening for me and also disheartening and confusing...so I find myself bristling sometimes when I see bottle feeding. This is NOT a judgement--I truly work to support families, not to judge their experiences and decisions; every story is unique, every parent does what they feel is right for them, and that is not to be undermined. I just feel frustrated that a lot of people don't breast feed because they've (mistakenly)gotten the message that they can't, or that formula is just as good.

[siobhang]

I remember in the movie her explicitly saying how heartbroken she was when she was unable to breastfeed. I too kind of bristled when I saw the bottle (my knee jerk response to seeing SOO many images of bottle feeding out there in the media), but when she made the comment to Ricki about the breastfeeding, my heart broke for her.

[yamilee21]

There is a part in the film when they talk about how chimpanzees won't take care of their babies if they don't birth them vaginally. Having twice listened to Diane Weissinger's lecture (What Would Mammals Do?) on the connection between the normal birth process and breastfeeding, I thought it was very telling that Abby Epstein ended up bottle-feeding - really reinforces the idea of the connection between the two. And of course, the fact that he was born a bit early, and very small, and was in the NICU, certainly would not have made it any easier.

It is hard enough in this anti-breastfeeding society to have a successful breastfeeding relationship, but far more difficult with the complications of a c-section. I did manage to breastfeed my son, with relatively few problems, despite the fact that he was surgically extracted, but it was primarily due to my determination and the fact that my husband and I had really educated ourselves about breastfeeding before his arrival, and knew where to get help if needed. Most of the women I know who wanted to breastfeed and had c-sections had a much more difficult time, and gave up.

[turtlewomyn]

Yeah, I thought it was very telling as well, a difficult traumatic birth that ended surgically and breastfeeding was difficult due to NICU/Preemie/Surgery recovery.

My heart went out to her because I had a c-section that was very traumatic and I had horrible breastfeeding troubles. I was very fortunate that I was able to find/get the help that I needed to be successful at breastfeeding. It was very healing for me after my c-section.

[KarenEMT]

There was a Q & A session with both Abby & Ricki after the BOBB showing I attended and this very subject came up. As a previous poster remarked, Abby did state that she gave BFing her best go but his prematurity, the NICU stay, and the C-section all worked against her.

After Abby spoke, Ricki weighed in on the topic of BFing. She stated that she did BF both of her children, but she had breast reduction surgery and cannot produce enough to exclusively BF. She told us she supplemented with formula with her first child, but after becoming more educated on the benefits of exclusive BFing, she paid (in her words) "a fortune" for banked milk to supplement for her second. She received a standing ovation for that

[meganmarie]

Just went to the movie (last chance today at IFC in New York!!!)

Besides the above where Abby describes her bf troubles after 1 month in NICU, they do have that whole segment showing the moms with their newborns latching on and lots of exposed nursing so overall the movie is clearly supportive of bfing.

But at the film center today as you entered to go see the movie they had a hand-drawn, white-board sign showing you which of the theatres was showing Business of Being Born. Obvioulsly drawn by a well-meaning employee, it was decorated with little pictures of baby blocks, a jar of baby food, and a big baby bottle right in the middle. So when I went to the bathroom no one was in the hallway and I erased the bottle picture with my hand. Sign still looked fine. Only minor lactivist vandalism, hopefully no harm done, but I felt better.

I was at the 11am baby-friendly showing (with my sis the maternity ward nurse) but I didn't have my toddlers with me because I had snuck out from work to the movie. I think my sis and I were the only ones there not nursing in the theatre, except for the dad with his baby in a Moby wrap.

[yamilee21]

Originally Posted by meganmarie

But at the film center today as you entered to go see the movie they had a hand-drawn, white-board sign showing you which of the theatres was showing Business of Being Born. Obvioulsly drawn by a well-meaning employee, it was decorated with little pictures of baby blocks, a jar of baby food, and a big baby bottle right in the middle. So when I went to the bathroom no one was in the hallway and I erased the bottle picture with my hand.

There wasn't anything like that when we went to see it last weekend, or I might have done the same thing.

[mommyddeville]

I'm impressed that any moms have successful breastfeeding relationships after having preemies in the NICU and after a c-section. I had a son born at 38 weeks who was sick and in the NICU, and I had a vaginal delivery gone horribly wrong. I was in bed on medication for almost 48 hours which made initial breastfeeding start much later than I would have liked. It was an immensely difficult uphill battle to nurse my son while he was in the NICU and after, and daily support from the lactation consultant along with a lot of hard work were the only reasons we were successful. It is SO hard to breastfeed an NICU baby. I couldn't imagine doing it after a major surgery.

[folkgirl]

I suspected that she had trouble based on prematurity, NICU stay, etc. But really, I think her breastfeeding relationship is beyond the scope of the film.

[homewithtwinsmama]

My 31 week preemie (2lb 10oz) at birth was in NICU for 2 months. My story is on MDC under birth stories Crunchy Mama Makes Her Way in the NICU. Most people have no idea how incredibly difficult it is to establish successful breastfeeding when you have a preemie and a long NICU stay. Most NICUs do everything they can to undermine your efforts. If I hadn't been an experienced mama, childbirth/breastfeeding educator and long time nurser (7 years before my preemie was born) I would never have succeeded in our NICU. I watched mother after mother undermined or lied to while I was there. So much so that I filed a formal complaint after we left (I had to make enough noise while there just to get what my baby needed, but felt guilty for not standing up for the mothers around me the whole time). And I didn't have cesarean recovery personally to deal with--though I did have milk delay till day 6 postpartum from all the med/fluids they had me on. I brought in preemie milk from a friend's freezer who had lost her son to Trisomy at 4 months old and demanded they use that and stood my ground until they brought me the waiver telling me I was about to kill my child if I made them do this -HA! It is a seriously intimidating place to be in and only the strongest of the strong have any chance of success and usually if you put mama medical complications into the mixture then its just heartbreaking and impossible.

I think everyone who sees the film is so shocked by Abby's cesarean when they don't expect that to happen, they miss the brief discussion of why she is not nursing. At our filming I asked her if she would vbac at home next time and she said she would absolutely consider doing so and believes it is a viable option. The docs on the panel with her turned absolutely pale. It was hysterical!

[APmomto3boys]

My son was in the nicu for two weeks. He was born at 34 weeks and he had a cleft. I fought my @ss off to have him on 100% bm, even telling them that I would sue them if they gave him formula.

He was not fed for 3 days because of significant blood loss at birth. By then my milk had come in but we did have milk from a friend, just in case. His first feedings where the colostrum with a bottle. I think by the second day of taking the bottle, he was on the breast. If he could suck on that pacifier they were constantly plugging him with, he could breastfeed! He took to it very well and has not had one bottle since being home. He is now almost 6 months and above the chart for his height and weight for a 6 month old.

[BakerALM]

Originally Posted by krystyn33

That struck me also, but I assumed it was expressed milk in the bottle.

It's not BM and she basically says so. No mainstream woman would assume it was BM. They all know it's formula.

Originally Posted by folkgirl

I suspected that she had trouble based on prematurity, NICU stay, etc. But really, I think her breastfeeding relationship is beyond the scope of the film.

Nope, not beyond the scope! I totally disagree! HB and Midwifery is the whole package, mom care, birth care, after birth mom care and baby care. If you leave out BFing then you leave out a huge part of the after birth care of both the mom and baby on so many levels.

What we need to remember is that this film was not only for the Crunchy HB advocates but for mainstream woman who think scheduling a C/S is the normal and healthy way to have a baby!!!!.....

I do understand why BFing was horribly hard for Abby, and can see why it did not work (REALLY I can!). BUT I wish that with the magic of film making and her being a film maker herself she could have seen what a message she was leaving to the public by Bottle feeding while being filmed. She said that she "had a really hard time BFing" but NO explanation. Us crunchy folk who spend more than 5mins researching pregnancy, birth, and Bfing can easily see why she was bottle feeding BUT the mainstream woman will NOT. She will just see the bottle and the same explanation of why the formula and not the breast that she has heard a 1000 times from her friends and family who "tried" to BF. That " I tried and it did not work out", how many times in my life have I heard that. I imagine in Abby's case she really DID try but I have heard that same statement from moms who "tried" for only hours or days and then switched to the bottle even with a full term healthy baby. Ahhh it is just a really bad note to end a great film on.

[Peony]

I agree with most of this thread, but this last post from BakerALM really hit home for me. I will admit I cringed when I saw the bottle even though I really, really understood why, I knew that most women who see the film wouldn't get why bfing would be so hard for Abby.