Grandma said it!

[gentleearthmama]

I was thinking today about my grandmothers and their opinions on nursing and I just had to share this.
My mother's mother is nearly 70, and was a poor mother with 6 children, none of whom were breastfed. She has alzheimers and can't remember what she ate for breakfast, but she can remember her motherhood days well. She worked her butt off to support her 6 kids (and buy them formula). When she used to watch me breastfeed my son, she would say, "If there is one thing I could change about my life, I would go back in time and breastfeed all my babies." We talk about it, and the reason she didn't is because she thought people would think she was weird or gross. Formula was "in" then. She said on her last baby, #6, she tried it once, just to see what it was like, and then felt "guilty" for enjoying it, and kept up with the bottle.
My fathers mother is nearly 90. She had four children and nursed them all. When we talk about her motherhood days, she fondly remembers, "I am so glad I was able to nurse all my babies"
Amazing what after all these years, sticks out in my both of my grandmothers minds. Nursing.

[velcromom]

nak

[frontierpsych]

That's so sweet. My grandma nursed all 7 of her babies in the 50's, 60's, and 70's. Not breastfeeding's best era, but she went against the grain.

[MommytoTwo]

I almost cried reading that.

[~Boudicca~]

Originally Posted by frontierpsych

That's so sweet. My grandma nursed all 7 of her babies in the 50's, 60's, and 70's. Not breastfeeding's best era, but she went against the grain.

My grandma did too. And that really surprised me because I specifically remember her telling me that my dad was on ProSobee formula when he was a baby and I automatically assumed that like all other 50's moms, she didn't nurse any of her children. But then my dad has been telling me for years, "Hey, don't believe what they tell you about not getting pregnant when you're nursing, that's how I got here," (he was the second child). It didn't click in my head that Gram had nursed my aunt until a few months ago and I asked him if she really nursed his older sister and he said "yeah, she nursed all of her kids except me. The doctor said I was allergic to her milk so I had to go on formula." Holy crap!

Go Gram!

[TattoMomK]

Funny this topic is both frustrating and heart-wrenching for me. First the frustration:

When I had my first she was very, very fussy and on the breast ALL THE TIME. I didn't realize it was dairy/lactose issues for a few months. For a short time I actually lived with my mother and grandmother. For some STUPID reason I had kept the little medicinal-looking bottles of prepared formula good ole Enfamil had provided. Anyway, my grandma was CONVINCED my baby was STARVING. Oh she hounded me DAY and NIGHT to give my baby a bottle of the prepared formula. She followed me around the house "here try this, just try it, it won't hurt her. She's so HUNGRY!" I gave in once -- between desperation and pressure. That opened the floodgates. I would literally catch that woman sneaking the babe formula when I was TRYING TO SHOWER! (All to thanks of enfamil and their bleepin samples--that looked medicinal at that!) My very pro-bf'ing pedi had already told me she was gaining well, and that I should NEVER supplement formula -- he even told me to cut out dairy! (Dr. Bluestein in San Leandro CA for those who want him and are geographically capable) Anyway my grandma was RELENTLESS. She made my life hell, and it was already hard enough with split nipples, pain, no help from LLL...and yet I kept going. I fought that lady and all of her attempts at formula.

FAST FORWARD A COUPLE YEARS AND BABIES: and the same formula chaser changed her mind. She expressed tremendous regret for not nursing her own babies and was literally angry that the nurses and docs told her in the mid-late 40's that her milk wasn't "rich enough" to feed her own. She was so mad! She had by then watched so many news stories etc on breastmilk she was ashamed of her behavior towards me. She had watched me nurse three children and was so PO'd by the idea of colostrum - it's importance -- and how her own doc's didn't know what it was! She said "rich enough -- hmmmph!" LOL

So I feel this thread, I really do. Needless to say my Yammers now asks: "how's he eatin'? Is he a good nurser?" with my latest.

[Mama Poot]

Originally Posted by frontierpsych

That's so sweet. My grandma nursed all 7 of her babies in the 50's, 60's, and 70's. Not breastfeeding's best era, but she went against the grain.

That is amazing to me, especially in the 50's and 60's where they were still doing twilight sleep in most places. Those drugs made it virtually impossible to breastfeed, and in addition to that most hospitals still gave shots to dry up the milk as a matter of routine. Did your grandmother have her children at home?? I'm just wondering how she accomplished this given the time period.

[ILoveMyBabyBird]

My maternal grandma breastfed all 14 of her kids, except the second who they told her was allergic to her milk. Although she said she did not bf for long periods of time, (obviously as she got pg so much) she told me she was glad she was able to bf them for some months. That was from 1955-1974, only 1 of her daughters tried to bf but stopped after a week. Although my two youner aunts (twins) who still might have children someday act interested in breastfeeding. And funny thing is, the aunts that seemed most grossed out about me breastfeeding were those that were well endowed, same w/my sister. Don't know why none of them really tried it, a couple of them claimed seeing their mom and friends mom nursing turned them off of it. Strange, huh?

[JessasMilkMama]

My grandmothers didnt nurse their kids either - my maternal GM tried for like 6 weeks with her first but she had so much foremilk and she leaked all over and the dr. told her she just had "blue water" and to stop nursing.

My paternal one had "flat nipples" and couldnt get a latch so just went straight to the bottle. But both of my grandmas were/are so supportive of me nursing. Its like they had never seen someone who just did it as a normal part of their life, and when they did they realized it was just feeding a baby and was a beautiful thing

[Hippie Mama in MI]

My grandmother suggested giving my baby formula when I was still in the hospital, trying to get the hang of BF. I told her I couldn't afford the formula (the truth, but not the real reason I wanted to breastfeed... I just can't talk to her about personal things like breasts and nurturing). She offered to PAY for the formula, insisting "It really is better for them." When I replied that I couldn't accept financial help, she said, "Well, give him pet milk then. Pet milk's cheap."

I know she was just trying to help, but was that something they did back then? Feed the babies pet milk? Meaning condensed canned milk?

Kady

[cognito]

Originally Posted by Hippie Mama in MI

I know she was just trying to help, but was that something they did back then? Feed the babies pet milk? Meaning condensed canned milk?

Kady

Pet milk & Karo syrup were all the rage back then... Even my mom was told to try it with me & I'm only 24.

[Dov'sMom]

Hm. My grandmother spent a lot of time telling me while pregnant with #1 that a woman has the right to her own body and that she would never have breastfed because her breasts were her own. Now, she's sort of vaguely aware that I'm still nursing DS 14 months while 9 months pregnant with DC2, so she no longer says anything to me about it (I do have to say, whatever opinions my grandmother has about what you're doing, she'll tell you once and then it's your business -- she might tell other people you're crazy (such as for having 2 kids so close together) but she'll never mention it to you again), but she has no regrets as to her own kids.

[NotBroken]

I was happy to learn that my Grandmother BF my dad. Kinda funny, his sister did too. She and my grandmother were pregnant together, and since my dad was born at 4lbs and Grandma was so afraid to care for him my aunt picked up the slack.

The way I heard it was my Grandma had left my Dad with my Aunt to go and run some errands. My aunt said, "He was hungry, so I fed him."
I LOVE IT!

I wonder what the long term effects are on the people who were fed condensed milk?

[tabasco]

My maternal grandmother definitely didn't BF her children. In fact, my mother told me how proud she (grandma) was of the fact that she propped their bottles at a young age. She's never said anything about my breastfeeding, though, so either she doesn't care or knows better than to say anything. I know that my great-aunt thinks BFing is disgusting--borderline immoral. She was appalled when her daughter-in-law chose to BF.

I'm not sure whether my dad was BF, but my paternal grandfather wasn't at all bothered by my BFing DD at a restaurant when he was visiting. His comment: "You don't see many women breastfeeding nowadays, but women did it all the time back when I was growing up."

My grandmother's good friend and my distant relative, who is almost 90, came up to me at a bridal shower while I was nursing DD. She went on and on about how lovely it was to see me BFing my baby. Then she said that she had wanted so badly to BF her children, but the doctor told her that her milk wasn't rich enough. Her comment made me feel so sad!

[wryknowlicious]

Originally Posted by Hippie Mama in MI

My grandmother suggested giving my baby formula when I was still in the hospital, trying to get the hang of BF. I told her I couldn't afford the formula (the truth, but not the real reason I wanted to breastfeed... I just can't talk to her about personal things like breasts and nurturing). She offered to PAY for the formula, insisting "It really is better for them." When I replied that I couldn't accept financial help, she said, "Well, give him pet milk then. Pet milk's cheap."

I know she was just trying to help, but was that something they did back then? Feed the babies pet milk? Meaning condensed canned milk?

Kady

my mother ws BF for 6 months (in 1960!!) but when her mom's health took a turn for the worse my mom's nany and her father swithed her to Pet Milk and Karo.
She was on Pet Milk untill she was FIVE!!

btw- my mom has sufffered with obesity since she was a toddler - somethign she personally partially blames on the pet milk start to life.

[Tine]

I wish I could ask my grandparents about this. (All died long before I had my kids.) I've asked my parents what they recall, though.

My mom says she doesn't remember. I doubt that. She's the 5th of 9 kids (born from the 1930s through the 1950s), and you don't have that many siblings without noticing how the babies eat. I hope Grandma Irma breastfed...for many reasons, but especially because the family was SO poor! It kills me to think of her buying formula when her kids were sleeping 3-to-a-bed and sharing 1 battered bicycle rescued from someone else's trash.

My dad (3rd kid of 5 from the same era) says he doesn't remember exactly, but he's "sure his mom breastfed." I believe him. Grandma Lenore was practical to a fault (so practical, she had basically no sense of humor). Even if everyone around her thought she was crazy or disgusting, she would have BF because it just made sense.

[birdie22]

My grandmother was born in the 20's, raised in the mountains of VA as one of nine siblings.

When ds was about a year old, she told me how happy she was that I was bfing and cosleeping. She said that was how her mother raised her children, and she (my grandma) always regretted listening to all the experts who said she shouldn't do that with her own babies. I have a dim but loving memories of my great-grandma; she died when I was little. I love to think that I'm bringing back traditional ways that my great-grandma used, which were almost lost.

I have a personal memory of seeing my mom mixing canned milk and Karo - maybe for my brother when he was a bit older? That was the 70s; I highly doubt she would have given it to him as exclusive nutrition when he was a baby. (Brother and I were both adopted; my mom still thinks bfing is a fad, so I'm certain we were formula fed. I never bothered to ask.)

[mntnmom]

My mom was a preemie, essentially sent home to die in peace in the early sixties. They gave my grandma "the shot" to dry up her milk. Mom was too weak to suck a bottle, so GP and GM SPOONFED her PET milk.
Obviously she lived, here I am..but I can't help but wonder if some of her life long health problems could have been lessened by a better nutritional start.
My mom did BF me 'til 18 mnths in the early 80's though! Go mom!

Originally Posted by Hippie Mama in MI

My grandmother suggested giving my baby formula when I was still in the hospital, trying to get the hang of BF. I told her I couldn't afford the formula (the truth, but not the real reason I wanted to breastfeed... I just can't talk to her about personal things like breasts and nurturing). She offered to PAY for the formula, insisting "It really is better for them." When I replied that I couldn't accept financial help, she said, "Well, give him pet milk then. Pet milk's cheap."

I know she was just trying to help, but was that something they did back then? Feed the babies pet milk? Meaning condensed canned milk?

Kady

[april77]

Originally Posted by NotBroken

I wonder what the long term effects are on the people who were fed condensed milk?

My maternal grandmother breastfeed my uncle and aunt but not my mom. Apparently when my mom was born they could afford to buy formula (condensed milk/karo mixture) and my grandmother viewed breastfeeding as something you had to do if you were poor. My mom had very poor health compared to my aunt and uncle and at one point, not long after dd was born, she wondered if it was b/c they were breastfed and she was not. She struggled with obesity but her brother and sister did not, had more allergies, more illness, etc. My aunt and uncle are in their early 50s and do not have any of the health issues my mom had before she passed away. I know there are other issues at play - environmental, diet, etc but it really seemed like she was immune compromised from an early age compared to her siblings. I know she felt like it made a huge difference in her life.

My paternal grandmother was embarrassed that my mom tried to breastfeed me, I think it was the same breastfeeding = poor thing. But when my dd was born she was happy that I was nursing, she said it was natural and better and she regretted not nursing my dad.

[guestmama9904]

my paternal grandmother, who had her first child at age 40 in 1948 (my uncle) was told that because she had contracted meningitis and enchephalitis as a young woman she should not breastfeed. she was also forced to have 2 c sections because of these diseases the doctors thought her heart would be too weak to give birth vaginally. she told my parents that she had really wanted to nurse but was told she couldnt. she was a psychotherapist and an anthropologist so she knew how important breastfeeding was but was told by the great god docs of her time not to. when my dad and mom had me she was so happy i was born normally at home and breastfed!