Breastfeeding my newborn - Page 2

[Surfacing]

Hello Mamas. Please help me keep my sanity. I too am glad for this thread.

After dd#2 cluster fed some extra to rev up my supply we're back at cracked bleeding nipples. She's 9 or 10 days old. Shouldn't things be getting better, not regressing? I'm so discouraged. I'm trying not to be though. The reverse pressure thingy has been helpful.......but apparently not enough.....sigh. I'm so tired.

Gotta keep those spirits up. Any words of encouragement would be helpful! TIA

[Chavaleh]

Emese'sMom.

I think I remember reading somewhere that there was a growth spurt around 10 days. Do you have some lanolin and some of those cold gel pads? I hear rubbing some expressed milk into them and leaving them bare as much as possible is helpful too. I'm so sorry they're such a mess. You can get through it though! Things will improve. Mine are pretty sore but not cracked or bleeding thank goodness.

Pilgrim: Jack does almost the exact same thing. From about 1am-6am all he wants to do is nurse/fuss or just be awake (and demanding entertainment).

I've had a bad headache for days. I'm pretty sure it's from slouching when I nurse and bending over the baby but I can't seem to get him high enough to be comfortable. I'm using like four or five pillows but we can't get it right.

[Surfacing]

Thanks Chavaleh. I KWYM about the slouching etc. even if you have pillows. Sigh, so the 10 day growth spurt, eh? I do have lanolin etc. and will air out the girls. How do the cold gel pads help?

Dd#2 also has a night time wake period. We'll be thinking of each other then!

[Chavaleh]

I think they'd just feel good.

[zenma]

nak - of course...

i CAN'T WAIT until ds and i are able to do side-lying breastfeeding!! i tried a few nights ago, but realized that a good latch needs to be more automatic for it to work well. i am going to love the nights that i can sleep through feedings...

we have regular bouts of latch regression around here. what has been most helpful for me is revisiting my own positioning while latching on, esp getting a straight back and a flat lap. i have to scoot my hips all the way to the back of the couch, then use a pillow between my upper back and the couch. after i make sure my lap is flat, i then position the boppy, and support it underneath with another pillow. (ds LOVES waiting for all of this , right? ) after a good latch has been found i can shift my posture around.

night-time feeds are harder, because i also don't want crying to wake up everyone in the house, so i feel more rushed and stressed. and it seems like my baby won't open up wide enough for a good latch unless he's a little worked up...

the football hold is all we do right now. i can't wait for the days of side-lying and cradle holds. i also want to learn how to have ds nurse in a carrier too. someday.

hang in there mamas! it's gotten so much better for us lately, but just yesterday ds opened up a crack in my nip in less than a second. i don't even know how it happened... he has a super strong suck going on in that tight-lipped mouth!!!

[southernmommie]

For the thrush that we got the day my milk came in, I read in my book that for the nipple to do a swab of water and vinegar solution and for baby's mouth swab the water and baking soda solution. It's in the herbal book by Susan Weed for Childbearing years. I LOVE that book! I used it religiosly that night all the next day and all that night and I haven't had it for 3 days now. That's what worked for me!

We had a wonderful latch the night she was born and the next morning. Then she didn't latch well. So we had to work on her latch for a few days. Got her latch good and my milk came in on the 4th day with thrush. So now we are going on about 4 or 5 days of nursing well. It is a new experience with each child. I nursed my other 2 also. Different problems with each one. Hang in there. Be persistent and you WILL get it! I find that if I just hang in there through that breaking point, then it gets better just after that. Like the one poster said earlier. Lansolin was my best friend there for about a week!

[Surfacing]

Hello Mamas. Just returned from the midwives office. I want to spit. Dd#2 gained 1.5 oz in the past 5 days - not the 2.5-5 oz they'd like to see. Could be because of a different scale, surprising b/c baby has had a lot of pees/poos.

I am so tired. I have been working my a$$ off. It's only day 10. MW wants me back in 2 days to weigh dd.

I have noticed a regression in our nursing sessions. She struggles and cries at the breast a lot. Oh I don't know. One of the most frustrating things is that noone REALLY knows what's wrong. You get different advice from different experts and it's just so frustrating!

I feel really down right now. For some reason, nursing is a hot button for me. I just wanted this to work so badly. I have been making breastfeeding my day and night vision. Pretty much my whole life has been set aside to nurse this newborn (as it should be, right?). It's so frustrating to hear back that it may not be working out. I also don't think dd and I should be struggling at the breast as much as we do. When the MW saw our nursing session she agreed that it looked like something wasn't right. Dd just wants to make a small tight mouth. She suggested CST. She suggested pumping and tube feeding at the breast. I already did the pumping and tube feeding route with dd#1 and I DON'T want to go back there again. :

Oh hell. I'm so sick of trying all these things. I'm tired of feeling like a failure.
Okay, gotta go take a break and then try to bf again. : I feel so sad. Thanks for listening to my vent.

[allnaturalmama]

Oh, hugs to you mama. You are not a failure. You are a champion. Do you know how many women would have never stuck with BFing this far?

My DC3 had the small, tight mouth, and SCT made a world of difference for us.

Hang in there. You're both going to make it through this, I promise...

[zenma]

Originally Posted by Emese'sMom

Hello Mamas. Just returned from the midwives office. I want to spit. Dd#2 gained 1.5 oz in the past 5 days - not the 2.5-5 oz they'd like to see. Could be because of a different scale, surprising b/c baby has had a lot of pees/poos.

I am so tired. I have been working my a$$ off. It's only day 10. MW wants me back in 2 days to weigh dd.

I have noticed a regression in our nursing sessions. She struggles and cries at the breast a lot. Oh I don't know. One of the most frustrating things is that noone REALLY knows what's wrong. You get different advice from different experts and it's just so frustrating!

I feel really down right now. For some reason, nursing is a hot button for me. I just wanted this to work so badly. I have been making breastfeeding my day and night vision. Pretty much my whole life has been set aside to nurse this newborn (as it should be, right?). It's so frustrating to hear back that it may not be working out. I also don't think dd and I should be struggling at the breast as much as we do. When the MW saw our nursing session she agreed that it looked like something wasn't right. Dd just wants to make a small tight mouth. She suggested CST. She suggested pumping and tube feeding at the breast. I already did the pumping and tube feeding route with dd#1 and I DON'T want to go back there again. :

Oh hell. I'm so sick of trying all these things. I'm tired of feeling like a failure.
Okay, gotta go take a break and then try to bf again. : I feel so sad. Thanks for listening to my vent.

oh, mama, i'm so sorry it's so hard right now. i can identify with so much of what you're going through - i, too, take the regressions very personally and have trouble not thinking "failure" about myself when nursing goes badly. but we're not failures!! this is something really hard for some of us/some of our babes.

the good things that i'm reading about your situation: you've had successes and some pain-free nursing; lots of dirty dipes; some baby weight gain has happened (and they all grow on dif. schedules remember!)... so you're really NOT failing. try some deep breathing when latching on, or a glass of wine or something to relax yourself. also lots of skin to skin with baby, lots of eye contact with baby, and positive thoughts/talk to baby helped relax me when things were starting to feel really bad. and keep posting here!! this will all be a faint memory before we know it!!

[Demeter_shima]

I'm so glad this thread exists!

I just got over the week from hell in the BF department. I just had my first baby and the most stressfull part of having this baby has been dealing with bf trouble while being post-pardom and sleep deprived!

The first 2 days things seemed to be going alright, but I was not feeding him "on demand" or at least HIS demand. SO, he was behind on his "wet diapers" and then I felt horrible. SO picking up the feeding, my nipples were SO SORE that I was dreading him waking up to feed. Then when he would latch, I would feel a searing pain much like someone dragging a thumbtak allong the side of my breast. NOT FUN. We ended up having to use a bottle a total of 5 times but I had dh feed him with it so he would only associate me with boob.
THANK GOD, a lactation consultant friend that I met on here came over and checked things out, correcting my positioning a little and it has helped. My nipples have also gone into the "numb" zone and they don't hurt NEARLY as much now.
Things are pretty good now and he's all on the boob. No more crying mommy!
:

[Surfacing]

Good for you! So glad to hear things improved!!!

[Chavaleh]

Jack was down from his birth weight of 7lb11oz to 6lb13oz at his ped appointment on tuesday so they had me come back in today for a weigh in. He'd gained 5ozs! Woo! of course two of those were probably from me dangling over him nursing for 15 mins while they did the PKU test. Now I can relax just a teeny bit hopefully.

Hope things are starting to smooth out a little for some of you mamas.

[southernmommie]

I forgot how tired during the day nursing makes me. It's about 4pm here and I woke up from my nap about 45 minutes ago and I'm still really tired. I haven't been napping at all except the first day home after baby was born. Naughty me, I know. I think it has caught up with me. I should probably go to bed early tonight instead of staying up to get some quiet time after the kids go to bed. I really like my quiet time after they go to bed though. I don't get it often enough for my liking. Especially since DH goes in and out all the time with the Navy. But I need my sleep to keep milk production working its optimal. Having a thyroid condition, I have to keep a diligent eye on what I am doing and not doing that could effect my supply.

[neverdoingitagain]

Hi ladies!
I can so relate with this thread. Rhiannon is also a slow-gainer, lost more than 10% after birth. She actually just made her birth weight last week, 2 days before she turned a month old.
We had sleep issues and some latching issues. She was sleeping too much, and had jaundice. Her latch was off, and she just wasn't transferring milk enough.
Rhiannon has times when she struggles and cries at the breast too. She'll pop on and off, and get very frustrated. But I remember that with Shekinah too, and she gained over 4lbs by time she was month old
Sometimes, I think, babies just get frustrated when our milk doesn't come down fast enough. As it is, I only feel letdown if I've not nursed in more than 3 hours.
You know, I remember standing in the shower a couple weeks after I had Kiki and just spraying everywhere. I haven't had anything like that this time. It makes me wonder if I have less milk.
Maybe its because I was nursing my older dd still, but I didn't get cracked nipples this time. Sore nipples, just no bleeding. I can sure tell when this little girl isn't latched on properly, those lovely lipstick nipples
Anyway if you haven't yet, get thee to http://www.kellymom.com
That sure helped calm my nerves

[Surfacing]

Mamas I'm in a bad place. Please leave the firing squad and just pull out your listening ears (though no one in this ddc seems to be....extreme I guess).

A few days ago it seemed dd#2 didn't gain enough weight. The MW discussed options with me - pumping, tube feeding at the breast, tube/finger feeding, etc etc. I was so miserable doing that with dd#1, and dh too, that I can't go back there. I don't have the time anyway with a high needs energetic 2.5 y.o. to pay attention to occassionally. I have been pumping and bottle feeding. I told the MW I cannot handle the emotional rollercoaster.

I have an anxiety disorder and have a history of depression. I am on meds now but with the lack of sleep and the ups and downs of nursing I've been having some anxiety attacks lapping at my heels and have been crying. I feel so sad and miserable that the nursing is not working. Even the pumping I can't do as often as I'd like because I'm getting NO sleep. And that worsens my mood condition. I have to be very careful because I DON'T want to go there to a dark bad place. It makes me a very bad mommy and wife, and I don't want to do that to my family. A lack of sleep and mood problems gives rage and I DON'T want that affecting my family. It's not healthy and has created big problems in the past that are still healing.

I am scared. I feel sad. I am frustrated. I feel helpless.

I am disappointed in myself that I can't just weather these fluctuations in nursing, pull up my boots and get to an LC, and keep trying, trying, trying. The MW says to give myself permission to change my mind, I may find baby latches on again later, etc. This is true, I may feel stronger again later.

The sad thing is that dd#2 sometimes still cries and roots. But I feel so miserable because she was also miserable at the breast for a couple of days, and that's when her weight dropped. She stopped opening her mouth. I think in my anxious efforts to get her latched and in my response to the pain of latching, my firm movements may infact have been squeezing her shoulder/neck and hurting her inadvertently. I feel like I can't give her what she needs, wants and deserves. It makes me feel like a failure.

If nursing were successful, I think I would feel like it reaffirmed, unquestioningly, something about which I am doubtful: that I am a good mother, that I can meet my child's needs and help them feel safe, calm and secure.

I feel so down. I don't know why nursing is such a hot button trigger for me.

I have a call in to my psychiatrist but she's away next week. So I'll have to wait a bit. Dh is nervous about my mental health. He himself is dealing with many worries as his father died about a month ago, he is worried about helping his elderly needy mother relocate to our city, etc. He is not really bonding much with this child but I think he just needs some time.

Oh I don't know. Thanks for listening. I feel so down.

[neverdoingitagain]

Its so scary when they aren't gaining. I still wonder if I should give Rhiannon a bottle "just in case" I don't know if I could actually pump enough milk for a bottle though...
Another thing you can try is cup feeding, then nursing, or vice versa. It takes a little longer to cup feed, but you are less likely to deal with nipple preference. Since you are pumping, you can relax a little when you do try to nurse. Maybe just the knowledge that your baby will be fed will help.
I know what you mean about trying to get baby latched. I did the same thing with Shekinah, and yeah thats when we had crappy latch and a crabby baby. I started doing that with Rhiannon, and you're right. Eventually baby doesn't want to open her mouth. I was reading through kellymom.com and found a tip that really helped. Try latching starting with the chin, rather than the nose. Put no pressure on the back of the head, sort of let your babies head loll back. Holding her so that you are pushing her towards you between her shoulder blades. That usually opens their mouth up, and it starts the latch with the chin. I had a tendency of covering my babies nose, which causes all sorts of havok (baby suffocating, popping off, screaming, me freaking out...yeah fun)
When you try nursing, do it at a calm time, like in the evening or early morning. If your breasts are slightly engorged, even better, since there will be quicker flow of milk. Don't try to nurse longer than your baby can handle. If she gets upset after a couple minutes, feed her a different way (bottle, cup) Heck, if her mouth is open, squirt some milk in her mouth
Nursing is not easy. I'm nursing my toddler and I'm having problems. I can totally see why women end up opting for formula. If my dh wasn't here, I don't know. We could very well be ff by now.

Hey, have you tried a nipple shield? I have never used one, but I have heard they can help. And can you get an in home consultation with an LC?
Anyway, do what you can. I can tell it means alot to you. Take small steps for now and relax a little bit.
Good luck, lots of and please please please remember that you are a loving and kind mother. No matter what happens, you can only do your best. Your children and husband love you, even if you aren't perfect or maybe because you aren't

[Surfacing]

Neverdoingitagain - thanks for your supportive message. I think I need to get my anxiety under control before I take more active steps to get nursing going again. Anxiety seems to be a bedfellow right now whether I am nursing or not. And it's interfering with my ability to weather the bumps in the road.

I had been cup feeding dd#2 but noticed that it contributed to her keeping her mouth small when trying to get her latched on. I had tried a nipple shield with dd#1, not dd#2. That's an idea.

I think I will ask my midwife for a referral to an LC later on, when my anxiety is under better control. I know I can see Dr. Jack Newman and his LC's, but I find their bedside manner lacking as a person with mood issues. Their techniques for latching have been incredibly helpful and their work is really fantastic, don't get me wrong. I just have felt like they are not very sensitive to barriers that mothers are struggling with. I guess I'd need a softer touch right now, perhaps.

At any rate, hugs to all who are working through the uncertainties and difficulties of nursing their newborns. And yay for your victories!!! I so respect nursing mothers!

[baschabad]

Finally posting in this thread!!!
My baby is about 27 hours old and we're working on the nursing part now! So is it SUPPOSED to hurt? I really feel tightening and pulling on my nipple- is she not latched on properly?
I'm afraid she's not getting enough. I have a feeling to express out those teaspoons on colostrum and give them to her in a dropper just to SEE that's she's actually eating it!
I see her sucking pretty strongly when she's latched on but I wish I could see into her mouth to see that she's sucking correctly and getting the nutrition she needs!
I think I'll try to get an LC to come over just be assured that I'm doing the right thing.

[neverdoingitagain]

Nursing does hurt, in an uncomfortable, friction sort of way. If it feels sort of like you are getting bit, or pinches alot, then your latch is off. The pulling feeling could be a sign too. When you finish nursing, what do your nipples look like?
Sometimes babies latch weird. Or at least it looks weird from the outside. The only one who really knows is you. If its painful, instead of slightly uncomfortable, you're bleeding/cracked, have lipstick shaped nipples then latch is off. But you can't really tell that until after you unlatch. Does that makes sense? Looking at the latch doesn't mean anything until you see what it does to you physically. There, that sounds better
As for her not getting enough, it helps to remember that for the first 24 hours, her stomach is the size of a pea(approx. 1tsp). Then it enlarges to the size of a walnut(approx. 1 tbsp). That lasts for about a week.
Also:
1 wet& 1 bm the 1st day
2 wet& 2 bm the 2nd day..
3=3rd day
4=4th day
after that 5-6 wet & 5-6 bm
HTH

[Surfacing]

Good advice neverdoingitagain, ITA.

Over here my breasts are so sore and I'm pumping but probably not enough. I managed to clear an engored hard right breast quite a bit but it's still not soft enough. I am trying to balance pumping, caring for baby, feeding, doing the morning and evening duties with dd#1 and household (dinner etc), plus get some sleep occassionally (like anyone with a newborn it's elusive and in small chunks). I am trying to work on my mental health and remain balanced and well. Dh has his ups and downs mourning his father's death and has had the flu. So it's a bit crazy around here.

Dd#2 still seems interested in the breast even though she's had bottles. Thank goddess. Dd#1 was uninterested. I will keep trying later on when I feel stronger. Thanks for your support here!