Breastfeeding my newborn - Page 3

[zenma]

Originally Posted by Emese'sMom

Good advice neverdoingitagain, ITA.

Over here my breasts are so sore and I'm pumping but probably not enough. I managed to clear an engored hard right breast quite a bit but it's still not soft enough. I am trying to balance pumping, caring for baby, feeding, doing the morning and evening duties with dd#1 and household (dinner etc), plus get some sleep occassionally (like anyone with a newborn it's elusive and in small chunks). I am trying to work on my mental health and remain balanced and well. Dh has his ups and downs mourning his father's death and has had the flu. So it's a bit crazy around here.

Dd#2 still seems interested in the breast even though she's had bottles. Thank goddess. Dd#1 was uninterested. I will keep trying later on when I feel stronger. Thanks for your support here!

for you mama. i hope you pressures ease up soon.you sound like a thoughtful and loving mama, and there is no one "right and correct" way to do this parenting thing.

we've had some major backsliding into PAIN around here. i saw a LC today (who happened to be an mdc mama - small world!), and it looks like tongue tie is our issue. it was a relief to know in some ways.

now we have to get his frenulum clipped. i made an appointment with an ent who is under my insurance, but the next appt is two weeks away. i started crying when i heard that, i couldn't help myself. the pain is so bad and is, of course, so frequent. i'm going to nurse ds over a hundred times before we get this fixed

i had them put me on a list to call if they have a cancellation. i'm also going to look into someone who's not covered by my insurance.

[my kidlets and me]

Originally Posted by zenma

i started crying when i heard that, i couldn't help myself. the pain is so bad and is, of course, so frequent. i'm going to nurse ds over a hundred times before we get this fixed

Hugs to you - there's nothing quite like the pain you get from breastfeeding. I hope you're able to get the tongue tie fixed sooner than 2 weeks from now.

This is an online source with video clips to help those of you with latch questions...Dr. Jack Newman is Canada's breastfeeding guru and has lots of good tips. http://www.drjacknewman.com/index.ph...&id=5&Itemid=6

I find that I can adjust the latch if baby hasn't opened wide enough by pulling on her chin/lower lip while she's nursing, and that helps splay the lower lip and pull more of the areola into her mouth. I have also found that I need to do this less now than I did when she was born - she's learned in a short time (12 days) to open her mouth wide.

[To-Fu]

Hi, mamas! I'm happy and sad to be a part of this thread. Happy because I finally have my baby in my arms and we're really working hard at BFing, but sad because it's been really rough going so far.

I had a second-degree tear, massive blood loss, and needed six stitches after Aesop was born. What this means is that I couldn't even sit up for days, which made BFing pretty difficult. Even though the MW didn't leave until she made sure we had a good latch, I somehow still ended up with cracked, scabbed, bleeding nipples. It looks like a racing stripe on one side, so I know it means he's probably not getting my nipple far enough back in his mouth. Every time we nurse, it feels like someone's putting my nipples through a meat grinder.

We had to start with the side lying position and have only recently been able to try some sitting positions, so it feels like the learning curve was really tough. I still haven't been able to try the football hold, which I hear can help with latch problems.

We've gotten some good advice from various experts, and I hope it's going to get better. It didn't help that my milk came in two days after he was born and my already huge breasts became giant basketballs... and we all know how easy it is to get a baby to latch on to a basketball! (Seriously, his head looks tiny next to my ginormous boobs.)

The LC I talked to on the phone said to try soaking my nipples for a minute in warm water before each feeding. A large part of the pain is when he rips open the hardened scabs, so it's helped to start with things already softened. Maybe you other mamas with cracked nipples can get some relief from presoaking, too.

I also rolled up a cloth diaper and put it under my breast to help support it. The MW thought that the sheer weight of my breast made it hard for Aesop to get the right "fit" with it always pulling down.

I'm still getting one lipstick-shaped nipple on one side, but the other one looks round. I'm hoping most of my pain is now just temporary as we wait for the scabs to heal. It's just excruciating in the meantime. I want so much for BFing to work out that I'd rather keep the meat grinder feeling and know he's getting what he needs. I know he's gaining and he has plenty of dirty/wet diapers, so I'm trying to relax. The pain is just so intense sometimes... it's hard to believe things will get better, although I know they must.

Anyway, that's the state of BFing affairs for now. I'm hoping to have better news to report soon. Hope you other mamas are hanging in there! You're all in my thoughts, and it helps to know that even though we're struggling, we're doing it together. I don't know what I'd do without you all.

[XanaduMama]

Not in your DDC but wanted to post and say congrats and HANG IN THERE!!! It can be so hard in the beginning, but you're already doing such a great job and the pain WILL get better. Sometimes the latch is fine and you still get cracks. I'd recommend lansinoh or nipple butter, and soothies gel pads to get you through the worst of the pain (not while nursing though, alas)--they're really great. You should also nurse from the least-sore side first, and you can use ice on the nipples before latching on. Some useful ideas for healing at http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...lehealing.html.

HTH! Hang in there--your baby is lucky to have such a strong and brave mama!

[Surfacing]

To-Fu

[Surfacing]

Okay I should SO be sleeping right now.......................................

...but I have been trying dd#2 (18 days) at the breast again. Here's what's happening, which is what I saw on days 9 and 10, prior to her weigh in where she was not gaining enough after fabulous gain:

Rooting, licking, making cute cooing pigeon noises, looking like an adorable little piggy. (WANNA EAT HER UP! YUM!)
I get her into position. I get my big floppy boob into position. I pretend I have 50 hands and fingers, hold babe, mash my nipple into a hamburger after expressing some milk on the nipple. Babe licks milk and coos. (SO CUTE!) I wait for the big mouth, angling the tip of my nipple towards the roof of her mouth and making sure the rest is touching her chin. No big mouth. More licking. Okay. More expressing. Okay.
See the big mouth. Put dd on. She sucks a couple of times, cries and lets go. We repeat this OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I KNOW she is getting milk because she swallows. But it's like she wants a river to flow immediately instead of drops. Or she seems like she's in discomfort or something. I don't know. This was already happening before I poisoned the waters with the evil bottle. Girl, you have to work a bit and wait for the letdown! I find it very stressful. I hate having her cry in frustration at my breast. She gets all worked up, red and even broke into a sweat today. This is not right. It doesn't seem right to me.

The midwives suggest I take her to a CST because her jaws seem very tight. She wasn't suctioned or anything. ?? Who knows. I think I'll do so even though I am not quite convinced by the practitioner I took dd#1 to. $100/session for nada result.

The midwives have been trying to lure me in for an extra visit so this week I agreed. We had a big talk about mental health and how they support me and what I did was totally medically appropriate for me. Lack of sleep is toxic to a person with a serotonin deficiency (I know, it gives me RAGE, irrational behaviour, things I don't like and that hurt my family--my mental health HAD to be a priority this time). It's just hard because I know plenty of people with depression/anxiety who were able to bf their babies. I guess it's looking at the big picture though, social support or lack of, other stressors, etc etc etc.

Dh has been a tremendous help but always complaining that it's too much, he's too tired, he can't do it all. It makes me feel very sad and I am trying to keep my problem solving hat on to make sure we get all we need. But it's stressful and tiring for ME to be worrying about all this NOW in the early postpartum. Ain't someone supposed to be mothering me? Well this is my reality. I just wish he felt a bit better. I'm trying to support him but then end up feeling overtired myself. I caught the flu this week from him and then got a blocked duct. It's finally clearing slowly. I'm "at risk" for mastitis so I'm supposed to rest. Har de har de har.

I told the midwives that I don't want to accept this idea that I am not capable of bfing or learning how to bf. I think I have the intelligence to do so. (They agreed. ) So I am going to try a bit more. I have to do it in a non-stressful way though. If I make sure dd#2 gets fed and then offer the breast for comfort, perhaps that would work. Although when I offered the breast just now to help her doze off, initially it seemed to be comforting, but just ended up pissing off and agitating her. It's so frustrating! I need some answers. Maybe I'll ask my primary MW for an extra visit for bfing support. Sigh. I'm tired.

Thanks for letting me vent. If any of you have ideas for how I can juggle anything (magic answers) let me know.

[vlasta216]

Originally Posted by Emese'sMom

I told the midwives that I don't want to accept this idea that I am not capable of bfing or learning how to bf. I think I have the intelligence to do so. (They agreed. ) So I am going to try a bit more.

Your attitude is soooo inspiring! I'm glad to hear you're hanging on, despite all the troubles.

BFing has been troublesome for me. It seems to get easier now (healed nipples) but i still worry if he's getting enough (he doesn't eat as constantly as he used to). He's also fussy as the breast, either in the beginning or end of a feeding (sometimes both).

I do want it to work so badly. His weight gain was excellent last week, but i hope he's still gaining.

He sleeps a lot and i'm not sure if i should wake him to eat. I mean he can go 4 - 5 without wanting any food.

I know all the anxiety doesn't help and i should just listen to my baby... but it's so hard. I'm glad to hear other women with difficulties/worries are so determined to make this work.

We go to the ped tomorrow so hopefully it'll be reassuring. Hang in there mamas, they SAY it gets easier!

[zenma]

nak and not sure if i'll be able to type out the whole story. here's the short version: we got ds' frenulum clipped yesterday. it was quick and, aside from his frustration with being held, ds really didn't seem bothered by the procedure at all - and it is covered by my insurance (whew!) still, we didn't have immediate pain relief as some do for two reasons:
1. thrush
2. he still has to learn how to use the newly freed tongue

we're working hard on both, and i have hope!

[zenma]

double post

hugs to all the mama's struggling w/ this. i ofteen feel that if i lived in a different time/culture i'd be really screwed, since, even with lots of help i don't seem to come to easy to this natural thing. but maybe i'd have a relative or friend who would play wet nurse, right? hmmmm....

[Stacymama]

Hugs to you momma's. I'm right there with you.
Andrew was born on the 8th of January, will be 4 weeks on Tuesday.
We went through sore nipples, cracked nipples, then a plugged duct, got that worked out, only to get another one. Started pumping after a feeding to really empty the breast only to see yellow puss coming out of the breast.
Yes you guessed it a breast infection, chills, fever, feeling like a truck backed over me, tired. So I go on antibiotics, and acidopholis for 7 days only to get a breast yeast problem. Andrew shows no signs of thrush, no diaper rash no white spots in his mouth other then the milk tongue.
So with the 3rd degree fissure on the left breast and the burning nipples that now feel like ground glass on them when I nurse, I call a LC, latch is fine, I have yeast, Andrew is chomping etc etc..
I called the doctor again and she suggested gentian violet for the yeast.....lol
So I now have purple nipples and my baby has a purple mouthand lips.
I feel your pain, I'm living it now too. It's a lonely feeling, knowing I am the only one here at my house that can feed this baby by breast. It sucks that it hurts. I know nursing is a joyful thing, I breastfed my other 2 children after very rough starts with them as well. I feel almost obsessed with it. But seeing as how I feed him every 2-3 hours around the clock, and it's so painful, NO wonder I'm obsessed.
I would love to hand the baby to my dh and go to sleep for about 10 hours, be healed and rested and start fresh, but I know I can't do that.
Hang in there! Do one feeding at a time, one day at a time, it helps.
I have been praying everytime I feed too.
I have to say, getting the yeast somewhat under control now for the last 2 days has made nursing less painful. Also my husband (Thank God) is a chiropractor, has been doing some cranial sacral work on Andrew and he's not chomping down as much.
I'm feeling alot better, just waiting on the crack to heal. I can't wait to lay down and nurse at night. I can't right now in fear that we won't get a good latch and split me again.
Progress is progress though, I'll take it anyday. It tells me THERE IS light at the end of this dark tunnel.
HUGS! (from the side so we don't hurt the booby's)

[neverdoingitagain]

Yes, there is light! In a couple months you'll be laughing. I would say weeks, but you may not be ready then
Have you tried grapefruitseed extract? I have heard that is can be wonderful for destroying yeast and is much safer all around ( and neater no purple)
I hope everyone is doing well! Emese'sMom, I'm so happy that you are still trying. From the sounds of it, you are doing really well so far. Baby steps, baby steps
Rhiannon has finally figured out side-lying nursing. She seems to nurse more when we're side-lying and boy, do I love co-sleeping Its so much easier this time around.

[Surfacing]

Glory halleluja Mamas, dd#2 has latched on tonight! She actually nursed again for about 8 minutes side lying. Oh I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And amazingly, for the first time, (shhh I don't want to jinx it) it didn't even hurt! !?!?!?
I love breastfeeding her. I just want it to keep working. I am going to keep trying. I think I am really really REALLY lucky that she will still take the breast after having had bottles. I am really lucky. I also have a lovely milk supply, for which I am VERY grateful.
Why do I think she took the breast tonight? Well we have dd#1 at my parents' place, dh and I ordered in, pigged out, relaxed.............I got to (gasp) take a bath! and wash my hair!!! I wonder if our more relaxed atmosphere this evening has made a difference. If so, why couldn't it be like this every night??? Keep praying for us!

Thanks for the encouragement Mamas.

ETA - I tried the other side afterwards and she reopened one of my cracks. Ouch!!!!!!!!! I wonder why that keeps happening! Oh well. Better than nothing!

[neverdoingitagain]

:::


I am so happy for you! I couldn't find enough smilies to express how happy I am. YOU needed this so badly, and I'm so glad that you finally got some good news.
: : and now I'm so excited too! You might do this!

[To-Fu]

Hooray for Emesesmom!! Sounds like you're really making some progress. Your outlook is inspiring.

I don't know if things are any better over here or not. Aesop is 9 days old and my nips are as sore as ever. The Lansinoh helps, but I still have cracks and craters and fissures. I've been rubbing BM on them after every feeding, but now I'm starting to get paranoid I might have thrush, in which case the Lansinoh and BM are just making it worse.

I can't wait to see my MW this evening. I hope she can help. I just want to enjoy nursing my baby, but it's hard with the meat grinder feeling. I want to cry every time I think about him needing to eat. This is not how I wanted it to be! BFing is a lot more complicated than I imagined. I can't even conceive of what it would be like to nurse pain-free.

If you had cracked/bleeding nipples, how long did it take for them to heal once you began treatment? Also, I wonder if putting something like Neosporin on there would help speed things up? (Of course I would wipe my boob clean before each feeding.) Getting desperate here and starting to think about nipple shields... ugh.

[zenma]

Originally Posted by Emese'sMom

Glory halleluja Mamas, dd#2 has latched on tonight! She actually nursed again for about 8 minutes side lying. Oh I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And amazingly, for the first time, (shhh I don't want to jinx it) it didn't even hurt! !?!?!?
I love breastfeeding her. I just want it to keep working. I am going to keep trying. I think I am really really REALLY lucky that she will still take the breast after having had bottles. I am really lucky. I also have a lovely milk supply, for which I am VERY grateful.
Why do I think she took the breast tonight? Well we have dd#1 at my parents' place, dh and I ordered in, pigged out, relaxed.............I got to (gasp) take a bath! and wash my hair!!! I wonder if our more relaxed atmosphere this evening has made a difference. If so, why couldn't it be like this every night??? Keep praying for us!

Thanks for the encouragement Mamas.

ETA - I tried the other side afterwards and she reopened one of my cracks. Ouch!!!!!!!!! I wonder why that keeps happening! Oh well. Better than nothing!

whoooo hoooo!
that's GREAT news! you've been working so hard, and i'm glad you got a chance to relax.

lately i've been managing the nip pain with deep breathing and it has helped me with the pain, but also seems to encourage my milk to flow. when the milk flows, ds' latch doesn't hurt as badly, plus he's sated more quickly. he's been opening his mouth wider and has been more accepting of a deeper latch. all of that is great.

still working on healing cracks, treating thrush, and continuing to improve the latch. we're going to see a chiro tomorrow for cranial sacral therapy.

one thing i have no idea how to fix: he tries to suck on his hands while we're trying to latch. we've tried swaddling but that really freaks him out. it's a total wrestling match half the time.

[Surfacing]

Thanks for celebrating my successes with me, Mamas!

To-Fu - I hear you, I am so sorry it's so painful. Yes, bfing in reality can be somewhat removed from the peaceful fuzzy image, can't it? I hope your midwife has some good suggestions for the pain. I found taking Advil, using nipple shells in between feedings, epsom salt soaks for the cracks, warm compresses to help the letdowns were helpful.

Must run, baby awake and toddler crying, dh nearly crying too. More later.

ETA - no time right now but wanted to say that Dr. Jack Newman's site probably has some info re: a protocol for what to do when nipples are sore. If you have to let them rest he recommends cup feeding or tube feeding by finger. To-Fu I so feel you on dreading feedings when there's such pain. I hope you get some relief soon. Let us know what your midwife says, okay?

Zenma - I'm so glad to hear you got an appt to clip your babe's frenulum after 2 days rather than 2 wks. Now if that thrush would just clear up.....

Hugs to all nursing mamas!

[Surfacing]

So moms, how are things going in the nursing dept? Tofu one of your other posts said that Aesop was gaining really well. That's encouraging! How's the pain?

Over here it's two steps forward, two steps back. One day at a time. I am going to speak with my shrink today before I decide what to do next.

Be well! I think of you all often!

[zenma]

(OT: it's been so hard to get into mdc lately, or i'd have waaay more to say in this thread. half the time that i want to post i can't.)

dare i say it....? it's been getting better lately, and staying better. i'm taking it feed by feed, frankly, because i've had some really terrible stretches of pain and personal (lack of) coping, when i had to concede that formula/pumping were far superior to the breastfeeding experience we were having. :

sooo, a couple of days ago we had about 24 hours of pumping/suplementing and i realized how much the thrush was undermining everything. my nips hurt ALL the time for no other reason. after crying to my lc i upped my probiotic intake, got a prescription for all purpose nipple ointment, kept going with the grapefruit seed extract and cut out sugar and yeasty foods entirely. and i've just started the baby on probiotics and myself on digestive enzymes. whew!! with all of that the pain has really reduced dramatically. he can yank my nips around all he wants and it's no big deal. his latch is good most of the time, but we're still doing cranial sacral to help his palatte form well.

my lofty goals: get to the point where we can feed side-lying in the night, nip easily, and learn to do it while babywearing. and breastfeed until my babe wants to wean. these actually seem more realistic given the past couple of days.

my realistic goals: breastfeed everytime he's hungry w/o my toes curling, and if they curl, face that i need to step away and pump/suplement. and try not to tie up my entire self-worth as a mother into this process.

for most, breastfeeding is easier and cheaper than formula. i've already blown the equivalent of a half years' formula budget into specialists, homeopathics, and herbs. this is not about money at all, but it's just ironic.

how's everyone else??

[To-Fu]

I've seen some more people about my poor nips and they all say Aesop has a great latch. This leads me to believe I'm just waiting on my wounds to heal, and that the pain is just from those and not from some other awful problem. But it's been two weeks already and the one nip is still in awful shape. HUGE crack. Does that ever close up/fill in? Or will I just always have a chunk missing? *shudder* My LLL book says sore nipples should heal in a few days, so I keep worrying something else might be wrong. But the MW checked for thrush in both me and the baby and we came up fine, so who knows.

My right boob isn't so bad, but it still hurts for about 3 minutes when he first latches on. He's a very energetic sucker (I often call him Attack Baby... he looks like a crazy chicken going in for the kill), which is great for him, but ouchie for me.

He's still gaining great, so I must be doing something right. I just wish I could relax and enjoy BFing with him instead of trying not to howl in pain at the mere thought of it.

How's everyone else doing?

[zenma]

to-fu, i thought my cracks would never heal, as i've had them 4 1/2 weeks. but when i took my pumping break i soaked them in warm salt water after each pumping and i haven't seen blood since. if you have a pump, or can borrow one, you could feed w/ the uninjured side and pump the other, cup feeding milk (or saving it for a stash) for a day or so, and try the salt water. you can also do the salt water soaks w/o pumping. i tried that way too, but i think having the break helped.

i hope your cracks heal soon!