Help! I don't want to give up!

[pear-shaped]

(I hope this is the right forum for this issue.)

For the last few days my one month old babe has been very fussy at the breast. She's hungry and wants to feed, but after a few seconds she pulls off and cries until I put her back on on. This can go on for an hour each breast until she gets increasingly agitated and then falls asleep. It's tough on me because she has the tendency to chomp down with her gums when she begins feeding, so an hour of beginnings always has me really sore...

This in itself isn't such a big deal, but it's just on top of a month of really difficult breastfeeding:

I had a c-section so it took long for my milk to come in, then with her chomping and my pain from recovery feeding her was really unpleasant, I had to stay with my in-laws after leaving the clinic due to some health problems and was on medications (antibiotics and blood thinner.)

Then I got the flu and was sick for another week! Babe was a really slow feeder, falling asleep all the time, so feedings took hours, which made my recovery from the c-section and the flu even harder.

She was slow to gain weight and dh was really influenced by the ped's insistence on supplementing with formula. I tried to fight it but after a traumatic pregnancy, childbirth experience, and clinic stay, I didn't have the strength, so now we're supplementing too. Babe is such a good girl- she often refuses the formula and if she does take it, she always wants the breast right afterwards.

But it's still painful to feed her and now dh is on my back about how I'm being masochistic because he can't stand seeing me in pain. And now with her agitated and distracted the feedings are even harder.

I don't think I can take her off the supplement, at least for now. DH is adamant about it and I'm still not emotionally strong enough to challenge him.

I'm trying really hard to be positive but I'm already so emotionally conflicted because of how traumatic bringing her into the world has been. I want to do the right thing but then there's this part of me that just wants to give in, because I've already given in on so many fronts- c-section, formula, other stuff, that I almost don't see the point in taking a stand. Except that breastfeeding is the most important thing I can do for my babe right now. But my resolve is failing.

Does anyone have any ideas for getting my babe to concentrate during feedings? I can deal with the chomping but not the two things together. Please help!

[MaryJaneLouise]

to you. Sounds like you have had a rough road, and are working so hard to do the right thing. It also sounds like your DH loves both you and your DD, and is trying to do HIS best. But don't give up on the bfing; I think you can maintain this breastfeeding relationship.

Do you think you have an overactive letdown? is that why she is chomping down? Do you have a LLL leader you can visit with, or a lactation consultant, maybe through the hospital?

Please read this about fussing during nursing, it might help you figure out what the problem is:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...e-nursing.html

Once you figure out what is going on, check this out about weaning from supplements:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/decrease-formula.html

[3girls1boy]

Does your milk rush out or is it slow to come. As PP said it may be over active letdown or it may be the opposite--that she is frustrated that the milk isn't coming right away like it does with the bottle. (A slow flow nipple on the bottle might help) If you think this is the case, you may want to try to express a little (either by hand or with a pump) to get your milk flowing before putting her on. Another thought is a nursing supplementer (pumped milk or formula goes in a bottle which hangs around your neck and a small tube goes along side your nipple) so you could supplement and nurse at the same time.
Also, have you tried getting her to nurse when she is actually asleep? This sometimes works for moms with babies who are fussing at the breast.

Definitely try to talk to someone in your town (La Leche League or lactation consultant).

I know it's hard but all the baby stuff gets easier as time goes on. Try to take it one day at a time and give yourself a pat on the back for doing your very best!

[pear-shaped]

Thank you both for your encouragement! I'm still hanging on, deciding to just take one day at a time. Last evening was tough, though, she actually refused the breast at one point and I was beside myself with worry.

I do think this is somehow related to the bottle feeding because she didn't fuss before we introduced the supplement. My letdown isn't very fast, so she may be impatient, but I find that she fusses more towards the middle and end of the feedings. She also does it more on the breast that produces more and I've begun to notice a difference in the way her swallowing sounds on that breast- definitely like she's being overwhelmed. I had noticed a couple of days ago that the milk had really begun to flow from that breast- at once point I sprayed her face (accidentally) and I'd never been able to do that before.

I'm planning on buying some slow-flow nipples. I am so frustrated because I was talked into not taking the babe out for a month (as per Italian custom) and I'm all alone here during the day (dh works very long hours in another city) and haven't been able to get to the pharmacy to buy a couple of good bottles with slow-flo nipples. What I have is just what dh was able to get when he ran out one evening to buy them. This week is finally one month but now the weather is hideous and everyone's still pressuring me not to take her out. I must sound like such a doormat but it's hard enough to fight against individuals- taking on cultures is hard work!

Also on the list of things to do: find someone local with LLL.

Thanks again, mamas. I really needed advice and encouragement! I'm so glad I came here.

[cdahlgrd]

She also may be going through a growth spurt which can make babies fussier.

I also recommend you seeing a lactaion specialist. Does your hospital have any? You can call and find out. SOmetimes insurance will pay for them, too. A few visits (even if it costs you $1-200) may make a huge difference and save you thousands in formula costs.

Cranial sacral may actually help too. THere are others here that know more than me about that.