postpartum and sex

[paranoidprego]

i am 5 1/2 weeks postpartum. I delivered a breech baby vaginally and unfortunately had an episiotomy (i think it was a 3rd degree, i have no idea). I was supposed to have my postpartum visit with the MW today, but i thought it was tomorrow and missed it. Now they rescheduled my appt. in a whole month! I was really hoping to get the OK for being able to have relations with my hubby. I have had bleeding on and off and now i had a little bit of brown discharge yesterday and today (always on days that i stupidly pick up something heavy). but no real bleeding in about 5 days.

this is probably tmi... but when i am in the shower and wash the incision site it is the tiniest bit sore. it is never sore at any other time.
so now i don't know how long i should wait. should i call the MW and talk to a nurse? i don't know if i need to wait until my appt. i would like something substantial to tell my husband. with our last baby we got the ok at 5 weeks.

thanks!

[homewithtwinsmama]

A third degree episiotomy. Good luck with that. My third degree episiotomy with pain still at the six week took about 6 months before my dh and I could dtd to completion with out me breaking into tears. I think you are way underestimating how long its going to take to heal (but good for you vaginal breech birthing). With the intermittent bleeding and pain I would count on at least a two or three month recuperative period if not more. Most of my mamas with severe tearing find it is months not weeks to get back to intimacy without pain.

[MsElle07]

The rule of thumb is: whenever you feel up to it. Try it with lots of lube and see. If it doesn't feel good, wait a bit longer. There's nothing magical that a MW can tell you about yourself -- either you feel up to it or you don't.

[MsBlack]

Remembering of course that it is only actual intercourse that would be painful for you (possibly--you can find out)....all *other* intimacies that you are open to, should be fine!

[momileigh]

My 2 cents... I would wait AT LEAST 8 weeks before trying intercourse, or until your bleeding stops completely for a week, whichever comes second. Meanwhile, by all means, do other "stuff." It may be a rude shock that however good you feel, once penetration starts... yeouch! Doing kegels is supposed to help facilitate healing, so be sure to do those.