Originally Posted by MyHeartInOz
All my self destructive behaviors have come back full force, and I just give up.
I assume this is why CPS kicked you out. Previously they were being lenient by allowing you to stay there even though your parents were given custody. If your self destructive behaviours are back full force like you said they likely feel it is unsafe for your son to be around that which is why they want you out. I am sorry that it has come to that, but if your bad behaviours ar in full force because you have given up then take some responsibility for your actions. Carrying on about how you will have to live in a shelter because the world is so mean isn't going to change the situation, your actions created this situation so now it is time to change those actions to improve the situation. I don't mean to sound harsh, I truely don't, but you knew you had steps to take to remain in your son's life and from the sounds of it not only did you not take those steps, you ran 100% the other way, much like a teenager claiming "I don't hafta and you can't make me" and then pouting how mean everyone is when you have to live with the consequences of those actions. I really hope you can find a place to live and see this as your chance to improve your over all situation for your son. GO to a shelter tomorrow, crappy one or not it is a roof over your head. Then head down the what ever office runs subsidized housing and get your name on the wait list. I don't care if it is a year long because you don't have your son, it's not getting any shorter complaining about it, just get your name on it. Then go and get a 2nd or 3rd job to save money. Then go down to the employment office, You do have a job but they may have programs that help get you training for a better job that would help you earn enough money to afford your own place. THEN regardless of training or your current job get a 2nd job, this is a temporary thing. Have it until you can afford to live off one income. Lastly, start checking out the newspaper for people looking for a roommate and start applying. THese situations usually include room and board for a few hundred a month. That is completely doable if you want it and is a better situation than a shelter. If you hit the pavement running tomorrow you could have a new place to live, and money coming in within a few weeks, while working towards a better job and with your name on the wait list for subsidized housing, which would have you on the path to getting your son back. While I feel for your situation, I can't change it for you, only you can do that. As my folks would say Sh!t or get off the pot.