Detached from pregnancy?

[BMG580]

OK, this is probably a strange sort of post to be making as I near the end of my pregnancy yet I really want to know if I am alone with how I am feeling.

When I was pregnant with my DD I was so excited about every new experience. I had been desperate to get pregnant with her and was so relieved and overjoyed when it happened. I was nervous the entire time and prayed that nothing would go wrong and I would be blessed with a healthy baby- and I was. Labor was so exciting even though it was long and painful because I knew I was going to finally meet my longed for child, a child I loved so much already.

This pregnancy has been different. I chose to ttc, I thought it was time based on our long term family plans. I was shocked that it happened almost immediately and while I was happy that we had no trouble conceiving I have remained fairly detached this pregnancy. I wasn't desperate to be pregnant when I got pregnant, I just was being practical with the ttc for sibling age spacing. And I've been so busy with my beautiful DD, that I am madly in love with, that I don't think I have had a lot of time to just be focused on this baby. And to make things even harder this baby is a boy. Now, I am NOT disappointed in the sex of the baby at all, it just came as an enormous shock. I am from a family of girls- all girls, I only have aunts, I have a sister and all my cousins born to my aunts are girls. I think I always assumed I would have two girls. I have no idea about boys and while I am sure I will figure it out I think I have just not gotten over the shock of it being a boy.

I find it very surreal that in a few weeks I will have a new baby. I can barely imagine it even though I am hugely pregnant and feel him moving around like a Tae Bo instructor in there. I think maybe I am so content with my life the way it is that I am sort of hoping that I am not sorry that we are so dramatically changing things.

Does any of this make sense? Does anyone else feel sort of neutral about their pregnancy? I fully expect when I deliver this baby that I will fall immediately in love with him and wonder just what the heck I was thinking about but all I can focus on now is that I only have a couple more weeks to just be with my DD and thinking of that makes me a bit sad.

Help!

[sunkist33]

I think there is such a wide range of emotions that go along with it. This is my second pregnancy & I do feel more detached in a way. With #1, I would stare at the ultrasound pictures & daydream for hours, lol...now I just don't have the time.
With this one, although I can't wait to meet them, part of me is scared of labour (!) & how it will be to have an infant dependent on me 24-7 again (my daughter is 5 so it's been a long time)...and I think of how our family dynamics will change, not just for the two of us but for our daughter who has been the center of attention for 5+ years! And everything feels really balanced right now & I'm afraid of how a baby might disrupt that. I'm also stressed because our apt. is less than 1000 sq. ft. and it's a tight squeeze now with the three of us, never mind four, lol!
but I think when I meet her, it will resolve itself And I agree, it is so surreal & such a miracle. This pregnancy went by so fast, too, that I don't feel like I have enough time to adjust.
Just make sure you take some time for yourself to relax & have faith that things will work out

Stacy

[thirdeagle]

We had made a bunch of big life changes in support of having another kid including moving closer to my parents and I had gone off BC. But after some serious thought I had decided that I was happy to have just one child and was ready to go on BC again. When... oops... BFP. I guess it was meant to be.

I was a little upset at first and had been hoping to feel better about it but really the best I can manage is neutral so far. I'm really hoping that this changes when she arrives. I want to do right by her, and also by DD1.

[isra1986]

This is my first pregnancy and I am feeling the same way. I have had alot of personal problems in my life since becoming pregnant and it has made me kinda ignore my joy about becoming a mother. I am excited about having my little girl, but I kinda resent the feeling that since I became pregnant all the bad things started happening.

[jaxinsmom]

I think everything you are feeling is completly normal, and familar. My ds is almost 3 (next week!) and I feel like I've spend so much of this pregnancy getting him used to the idea of a sibling that I've forgotten that this will be my baby...Also, add to that that ds was an AMAZING baby. I mean, he rarely cried and fit into our lives perfectly. So, in a way I am terrified that this baby will disrupt our lives and that I won't have the energy and attention for both children.
I also don't want to set myself up to say that I will madly fall in love with this one upon arrival -- who knows what might happen. I had a fairly normal birth with ds and I still remember looking at him thinking "what the heck do I do now???" So, I think all your feelings are valid and it's great that you're able to talk about them, I think that may help.
I felt the shock with gender with ds when I realized I was having a boy. I truely thought he was a girl and was suprised to learn I was having a boy and not sure what to...do with him (for lack of a better phase!)
Then one day it dawned on me that I had such a unique, important role in this little man's life...to teach him how to love and respect women, and to grow up to be a strong, caring husband/man.
Wow, what an awesome job! After that I was excited about having a boy (and still am!) and teaching him how to be a man.
I hope you're feeling better!