Daily checkin for 1/22 - Page 2

[MamaFern]

:41+5...

well, its carpet day..day 1. im in a cranky mood.. my mother loves to give me a running commentary on how i look everyday..10 times a day. this morning it was "oh you have that puffy look and baby is a lot lower" i am so sick of hearing about my fat pregnant body. like i KNOW. i know. okay? reminders are NOT necessary :

my 5 year old had a huge meltdown and made me chase him around the house..and my 2 year old is being very charming.
i would like to crawl back into bed and sleep all day, but no such luck.

maybe tomorow will be a better day.

oh and happy due dates mamas... ELV's to those in need of it today. i look forward to reading your birth stories! since im never going to have one

[simplehome]

It's just me and the little one today. Nice and quiet!

My milk came in right on schedule, 47 hours after birth, just like with DS. The only difference, though, is that he was born in the morning and this one was at night, so it was right as we were going to sleep.....ugh. She nursed every hour (both sides, sometimes three!) that first milky night, relishing her newfound liquid gold!! (and it IS gold, which I don't remember from last time).

Midwife came back yesterday, and we both checked out. My mom left in the evening, right before bedtime. DS was SO upset----we did our bedtime routine like normal, but he then wanted the baby out of the wrap so we could snuggle. I knew she'd wake up and want to nurse if we did this, but I thought I'd try....nope. So she's screaming, keeping DS up. Finally we trade, I nurse her while DH lays in bed with a screaming DS getting PUMMELED, then I go back in to try to help DS go to sleep....

We basically sat on the bed and rocked and sobbed in each others' arms for 45 minutes. It was so sad and so wonderful, all at the same time. He's not my tiny guy anymore, he knows it, and we're both brokenhearted. The hardest part for me is that he is definitely done nursing. I miss nursing him so much, and I know it would help him through these rough days. But he doesn't even want to try. He just cries and says, "I can't nurse anymore! I'm not little and I don't remember how! I want to be little so I can nurse!"

I'm bawling just writing this right now. I know it's just part of life and part of our little ones growing up, but I just envisioned the end to our nursing to be a bit happier---him growing out of it and going on to be a happy, bouncy, well-attached little boy. Not filled with stress and sadness and regret. The last time he latched on was in November, I think, and it ended with him crying, telling me he didn't remember how to nurse. I just don't want that memory at all.

I'm having a really hard time with him right now. I just want him to be happy, and he's just NOT. This is all just classic second child stuff, I know, but someone dig me out here and tell me it does get better, and that I haven't ruined his life or our relationship, please?

One good thing is the he insisted upon sleeping with us last night, and he hasn't wanted to in about a month. I was worried that the baby would keep him up, but she totally didn;t I was up with her twice, each time for about 1-1.5 hours, and while he stirred, he stayed asleep. Morning was another story---he wanted baby to MOVE so that he and I could snuggle, but even after we managed to rearrange, he just didn't want to accept Daddy getting out of bed with him. I really wanted to stay asleep as long as the baby was sleeping, but he managed to wake her up with all of his screaming. Oh well. I got up.

I'm already tired of these boulders that are trying to impersonate my breasts. Nursing is going fabulously well, and DD is handling the fast flow and oversupply much better than DS did (she doesn't even seem to notice!) but I'm now at about a 32K. Yikes.

I feel like I'm recovering pretty well---as soon as DH and DS stepped out the door this morning I had my first BM since birth. That felt really good....I also did the stairs for the first time, because DH forgot to feed the cat before he left. I think I'm really going to get the bleeding to stop much sooner this time because I've been much more serious about taking it easy.

I guess that's all from me. A novel, but I'm just so sad about last night that I needed to get it out. Thanks for "listening"

[HardCoreMom]

sara, i'm really sorry about what's happening with your ds. i wish i had some -any- advice, but i've never been through a (final) weaning process before, where a kid actually stopped nursing. i bet that the women over on the extended bfing board might have some ideas for special rituals or ceremony-type things you could do with your son to help bring some closure for you both, or at least some ideas for how to handle putting him to sleep. i'm guessing that many of them have had similar issues with their kiddos. sorry i don't have any better ideas. it's hard enough to not be the baby anymore- i can understand how badly your ds wants to nurse and how frustrating that must be that he can't.

my hugs to your whole family,
hcm

[amandamac]

Dear Sarah,

After reading your post, all I can think is that you are a GREAT mom, and are doing the best you can.

You are sensitive to your sons needs, and even though he is sad, he knows you are there for him, how comforting!

Warmest thoughts for you and DS during this transition.

~Amanda&BabyMac

[simplehome]

Originally Posted by HardCoreMom

i bet that the women over on the extended bfing board might have some ideas for special rituals or ceremony-type things you could do with your son to help bring some closure for you both, or at least some ideas for how to handle putting him to sleep. i'm guessing that many of them have had similar issues with their kiddos.

That's a good idea. I posted on the CLW board, thinking that this is a weaning issue. I'll see if anyone there has any words of wisdom.

One cool thing that I remembered that I want to share:

Right as transition reached its peak and was over, I vomited a TON!! I did this during my last labor, too, so it was no surprise. But THIS time, the clarity that washed over me was amazing! My eyes popped open, I was present and calm, and just waited for the pushing contractions to come. It was one of the coolest moments of my life.

[poisonedpenny]

So, I had my doc appointment today. 2 cm and 80% effaced. The only time he's working the hospital within the next couple weeks is Friday. He said everything looks good and that I could come in and have my waters broken if I elected to. But, that would be 3 days before my due date. I don't want the pitocin, and I don't want a C-section. But, I also want my doctor to be my birthing doctor. I don't really trust anyone else at the practice to follow my birth plan, and this guy is only partially following it anyway. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I don't like the idea of inducing at all, but I also really don't like the idea of anyone else delivering my baby. I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. I posted a thread over in Birth and Beyond asking for the risks and problems associated with having my water broken.

[HardCoreMom]

ugh. if you and the baby aren't ready to deliver, AROM is likely only going to cause problems for you. and docs love to watch the clock after your water breaks. i don't mean to discourage- i have my favorite mw at the practice i go to, but between the risk of not getting my doctor versus the risk of a c/s due to lack of labor progressing (when it was too early to start the clock)... well... i guess i'd just lean more towards letting your body and baby decide when the time is right. especially if this is your first baby (the average 1st pregnancy runs longer than 40 wks), i'd think really carefully before pulling the trigger on an AROM.

of course, this is a decision only you can make, and one that should be respected, if you are well-informed on both sides of the issue. so we won't be knocking ya if you decide to go ahead.

good luck!
hcm
(i had an AROM with my firstborn at 11days past edd, and was *minutes* away from an unnecessary c/s with a cut-happy OB. now i have a mw, and she will let me go till 43 weeks without intervention)

[southernmommie]

simplehome you are a wonderful mom for being there for the both of them!

I am finally updating since having our baby! I had baby girl on a Friday night and my mom flew in on Monday and stayed a week and left this morning to fly back home. DH is off for another week before he goes back to work and DS started back to school after the holiday break today too.

:: to all the pregnant mommies still out there!! I know you are all ready to have your babies!

[secondintheoven]

Just wanted to wish all the mama's out there that are still pregnant and waiting for your little one to arrive the best of luck and can't wait to hear your birth stories!

Today I'm 39+6, due tomorrow. I had my weekly check-up w/ my mw today. I'm still only 2 cm, same as last week but the baby's head is a lot lower as I feel the pressure every second of the day! My mw wants me to come back in this Friday for a non-stress test to check the baby. Then, if I do not have the baby by next Tuesday, I have another appt scheduled on Tuesday for an ultrasound, non-stress test and she's going to check my cervix. She said she really doesn't like to let her patients go past 41 weeks, however, because I really do not want any intervention, she said she would be patient as long as the baby is safe. She said I should consider letting her break my water if I haven't gone into labour by next Wednesday as I'll be 41 weeks. Of course I want to make sure our baby is healthy and safe but I really do not want to be induced and really hope that she comes on her own! I am getting really excited and can't wait to see our little baby girl!

Congrats to those that are possibly having your baby now - hopefully I'll be joining you soon!!

[MamaFern]

i just saw my midwife.. im now 4/5 cm dilated.. baby is kind of higher up now though not that it makes much difference...she will come out sooner or later.

my midwife brought me a bottle of castor oil and the magical lemon verbena oil.. im going to take the "labor coctail" (those two mixed with almond butter and apricot juice and water like a smoothie) when the carpet guys are done and gone. probably tomorow afternoon or the next morning (thursday the 24th)..
she is pretty sure that one dose will do it, so yeah. we shall see.. thursday is going to feel like a year away now.but maybe it will be my birthing day. so thats something to look forward to. and ill only be 41+6
i did the coctail at 42+1 with my daughter and she was born just after midnight the next day..

[poisonedpenny]

HCM - Yeah, this is a hard decision. Either I have an undesirable birth experience (being induced early, and possible complications) or I have an undesirable birth experience. (I get the mw who talks down to me, or the M.D. who yelled at me, or some stranger, all who have not read or approved my birthplan -- which means at this practice that they're not likely to follow it, and in my opinion leaves me open to more possible complications). I really don't know what I'm going to do.

[angie6282]

Still here...

40+4 today and I don't "feel" anything coming soon. Annoyed with people at work saying, "wow, are you still pregnant??" Well, duh, I'm still there and I still have this belly, what do you think!? Feeling annoyed because my mom flew down to AZ from OR to be here on my due date so she wouldn't miss the labor, and now she's been here for almost a week. She can only stay until Feb. 8th. God let's hope I go into labor before then... My midwife seems to be totally unconcerned that I am going late, even though she thinks the baby is already 8+ lbs. She hasn't said a word about inducing me or anything to even "encourage" labor. Hmmm...

Today my mom was joking that maybe I'll be on the front of the National Enquirer with the headline "Woman pregnant forever! Baby refuses to come out!" with a big x-ray picture of the baby holding himself inside me by holding onto the umbilical cord. Made for a funny image, but then made me groan. I really want to meet this baby! I'm trying to be patient and just look at it as more time to get ready for him, but I feel like I've cleaned and organized and reorganized everything at least 10 times. Sorry...just had to vent...I really shouldn't complain. I've had such an easy pregnancy and I'm just now starting to feel a little uncomfortable and get a tiny bit of back pain. I should be counting my blessings. I guess I'm just a tad bit afraid of having a 10+ lb baby if I go for another week or two!

[HardCoreMom]

mamafern- i can't tell you how many times i think of you each day. thursday seems like a good day. i wonder if your body isn't holding on just until those strangers get out of the house...

poisonedpenny- there is no way to quantify the value of a good advocate. do you have a supportive dp/dh, who will be there to fight for your birth plan? you've got to remember that YOU are the consumer, and that it's YOUR birth experience, not the industry's. i have also found that bringing in a basket of baked goodies with my birth plan always insures wonderful allegiances with the nurses, who bend over backwards to help keep me happy. a little food and sweetness can go a long way with an overworked hospital staff, and just might get them to actually read your birth plan!

[AngelaB]

Just wanted to send hugs to everyone!!
Angela

[Tiffany_PartyOf5]

Im still here.. lol.. I figure with my mom staying with us for work training here in Jax Thurs-Mon, if I dont go into labor tonight, I want him to stay in until after Monday. My due date is Thursday lol.. and I just KNOW that because I want him to stay put until Monday, now hes just gonna show up Thursday or something AGHHH lol.. which has me stressed out lol.. Im so ready to be done but I want that time for just dh, myself, and the new babe for a day or 2 after the birth.. I really dont want dh, myself, my mom, my 2 boys, my dd, and the new babe all here LOL.. Sooo I guess Im gonna try to be a lazy bum for a week so that I dont have this baby before next Monday lol

[MamaFern]

Originally Posted by HardCoreMom

mamafern- i can't tell you how many times i think of you each day. thursday seems like a good day. i wonder if your body isn't holding on just until those strangers get out of the house...

thanks HCM

[To-Fu]

I had three whole contractions yesterday (well, technically earlier today) and was having some brownish-tinged spotting. I called the midwife who said not to worry about the spotting, which was reassuring. She said there's no way to tell if it's mucous plug or just a jostled cervix after DTD. Everything has returned to normal. No signs of any labor and the discharge went away (probably just DTD residue).

Bah.

[HardCoreMom]

40+1 on a full moon

well, folks, i'm calling it a night. exercised, showered, ready for bed. i have an appt with the mw tomorrow. i think i'm going to ask for an internal, to see exactly how the head is engaged right now. guess we'll see- i REALLY would benefit from knowing the baby isn't posterior anymore. it would do so much to ease my mind-- it just might send me straight into labor!

MIL is back, and everything is great with that.

holding my breath for an anterior baby, and then, maybe, just maybe, i'll feel ready to go into labor.

have a restful night, everyone.
hcm

p.s. anyone else feel like we still need a "who's still cooking?" thread?

[Carliegirl]

Hey ladies...just actually coming out of the woodwork finally and posting today for the first time. I'm five days "overdue" at this point and working on holding steady. Was really hoping the full moon would do the trick but no such luck. Baby has dropped quite low but that's about all I've got in the way of "signs." I've checked my own cervix just to see if I could tell (my midwife doesn't do effacement/dilation checking) and I think that maybe I'm effacing and perhaps just starting to dilate. I'm afraid I don't know much about what I'm feeling though so I don't trust my judgement too well. I have been occasionally having contraction and once in a while they speed up or even get slightly uncomfortable but nothing to speak of in the last day or two.*sigh* Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue.