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S/O: Anon poll about your kids being gay - Page 6

Poll Results: How would you feel if your kids grow up to be gay?

 
  • 6% (49)
    Thrilled--more gay is more better.
  • 62% (492)
    Nonplussed--as long as they're happy, I'm good.
  • 16% (132)
    Okay--I'd rather they were straight, but whatever.
  • 10% (82)
    Disappointed--I think being gay is wrong and I don't want that for my kids.
  • 0% (4)
    Angry--I'm so appalled by considering it that I can't imagine what I'd feel.
  • 3% (24)
    Other, please explain
783 Total Votes  
post #101 of 230
My children are my children. I love and honor them completely for the people they are; the people whom they love won't affect that a bit.
post #102 of 230
Quote:
He identifies seven patterns of behaviour that are common across the gay men's community, but which are almost never acknowledged:

- an extremely low level of public violence;
- high rates of altruistic behaviour;
- robust sexual caretaking;
- friendship patterns of diffuse intimacies;
- friendships with women;
- diverse forms of sexual union;
- and unique forms of bliss and pleasure-seeking (not just sexual)
OK now I want to be a gay male.
post #103 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloKitty View Post
OK now I want to be a gay male.


Yeah, I could use some better sexual caretaking and some more friendships with females.
post #104 of 230
I must be super naive, because I honestly thought that with some (heartbreaking) exceptions, it is not 'hard to be gay' anymore. Maybe I've just lived in some very liberal areas and assume that most places are that way.
post #105 of 230
Well, I'd start here for basic facts. But really, if you are invested in believing that domestic violence is perpetrated by women as much as men, or that men suffer from it as much as women do, it's highly unlikely that anything that I can point you to is going to change your mind.
post #106 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by skyastara View Post
I must be super naive, because I honestly thought that with some (heartbreaking) exceptions, it is not 'hard to be gay' anymore. Maybe I've just lived in some very liberal areas and assume that most places are that way.
I'm not sure if my experience is representative, either.

But where I am (NC), it is still unfortunately very common to hear even the college crowd say things like "that's so gay," etc.

Definitely nowhere near "neutral" on being gay, although you're at least a little more likely these days to see one of those college kids turn a little red and say, "Sorry, Joe," if Joe Gay Guy is within earshot.
post #107 of 230
voted nonplussed... whatever makes them happy

I would be apprehensive for them because of bullying or other ways of being made to feel ashamed for it. We are raising them Catholic and this is one issue on which I verge from the Church. I would NOT want them feeling wrong or bad for being who they are and no matter what their sexuality, I will teach them that being gay is not wrong or bad, despite what the Church says. /ramble off

eta: just reread my post. I'm sorry
post #108 of 230
I'd be ok with it. I think life would be easier if they were straight, but life isn't always easy. We (dh, me and kids) live a life right now that lots of people wouldn't think is easy, but we are happy and that's what matters. Same with my kids. I just want them to be happy and true to themselves. If that includes something other that being hetero, so be it.
post #109 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by happyhippiemama View Post
I chose nonpulssed as well, but am actually sitting a hair towards thrilled.

A fence-sitter, me? NO WAY!!
That's the way I feel too. I think. If I was being totally honest, I'd probably say more thrilled. But I don't know that that's right, y'know? I should feel the same, either way. I guess I feel like I'd relate to her better, or something.
I don't know.

When it comes down to it, though, I really don't care. True happiness is what's important, period.
post #110 of 230
I kinda wish I were partnered and parenting with a man so that I could be that queer positive mama whose gay kid didn't have to come out in any formal sense. As it is, I'll probably be that radical dyke mama whose kid has to come out as a heterosexual, conservative Christian...

Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
Well, I'd start here for basic facts. But really, if you are invested in believing that domestic violence is perpetrated by women as much as men, or that men suffer from it as much as women do, it's highly unlikely that anything that I can point you to is going to change your mind.
... which is why I didn't bother engaging in the debate. I find it too distressing and lose all my coherent thought and ability to articulate intelligent ideas.
post #111 of 230
I voted 'other.' Really, I would be sad because they would have a much more difficult life here. This area is very conservative, and anyone who is different is definitely persecuted. For their own ease, I'd like them to fit in.

But, I'll love and support them whatever they are. . . straight, gay, purple, anything.
post #112 of 230
I voted #2. But also, sort of #1.
post #113 of 230
I voted #3 - I'd be okay with it, but I'd rather they were straight.

For me personally, it wouldn't matter at all. At all. But considering my family and my community, I have to say that being straight would be so much easier, both for me and my son.

I live in a rural southern community where homosexuality is definitely taboo and generally looked upon as unnatural and "wrong". If one of my children were gay, it would be considered shameful both for the child and for me and my DH. I also know that most of our family members would not have anything to do with the homosexual child again. I hate that. You have no idea how much I hate that. But that, unfortunately, is the way it is.

I also know that my DH would be heartbroken if our son turned out gay. He would never say it, and he would never treat him any differently, but I know he wouldn't like it. He was raised with many prejudices and a very limited worldview, and while he's come a long way since we've been together, I still think it would bother him greatly if one of his children was homosexual, especially a son. I don't want him or my child to have to deal with that.

Having said all that, no matter what path my children choose, they are my children and I'll love them and support them. But it is my hope that they are all straight, although I'll never try to sway them that way or infer that being gay is wrong.
post #114 of 230
Doesn't matter to me either way.
post #115 of 230
I voted #2--that it didn't matter to me one-way-or-the-other, but if I could have voted *in between* #1 and #2, I would have.

It's not that I *want* my kids to be queer--I really don't care. But I'm really crazy about my kids, and I'm really proud of each new thing I learn about them. And if you told me right now that one or both of them would be queer, I wouldn't be disappointed, but I wouldn't just be "okay," either. I'd be really excited to know this new thing about my kids, and I'd be really proud of that thing--even if it shouldn't really be any matter of "pride" for me. It's sort of like being proud of my babies' birthweights, or being proud of the way my son's hair sticks straight up if it is cut even moderately-short. Nothing to be "proud" of (or disappointed by), really, but just thinking about these "details" that make my kids individuals makes me really proud.

So I don't *want* my kids to be left-handed, but if one (or both) were, I would think that was really interesting and unique, and I would love that about them. And I'd be equally excited and proud if one of them were queer.

For what it's worth, it seems like some of the most interesting people I've known have been left-handed, and most of my closest, dearest friends have been queer.

And...if my child(ren) should turn out to be both gay AND left-handed...why, that's a recipe for success if I've ever heard one.
post #116 of 230
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by redpajama View Post
And...if my child(ren) should turn out to be both gay AND left-handed...why, that's a recipe for success if I've ever heard one.
That's turtle! And she's the most amazing person I've ever known. (I love it that that little dude uses her left hand for the thumbs up...)
post #117 of 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by frog View Post
That's turtle! And she's the most amazing person I've ever known. (I love it that that little dude uses her left hand for the thumbs up...)
A left-handed lesbian! See--yeah, I probably should have voted #1, because I really would be *thrilled* if my daughter were both. Or either. Oh, but I'll be thrilled either way; I guess I'll stick with my original vote of #2.

Ooh...this just got a s/o poll going in my head, but I'm walking out the door, and I've never made a poll before, so it might take me a minute to figure it out. So...later.
post #118 of 230
I voted nonplussed. I just want some grandbabies
post #119 of 230
I put disappointed, but whatever. Not because I personally would have any problem with it, but because we have a crappy extended family in the deep south and I have seen from experiance how hard it is when your extended family rejects you and the community thinks you're evil. My uncle is gay and got outed against his will and had to move from the only town he's ever lived in because his life was in danger. I don't care who my child is attracted to, but I would hate for him or her to have to deal with that fear and prejudice. Right now we live in Atlanta, which would be fine, but we're having to move back out to a small town because of DH job and I fear it won't be any better than the town I grew up in.
post #120 of 230
So long as she's happy in whatever future partnership she finds, I don't care one bit.

I can deal with her wanting to be anything, except a conservative republican fascist.
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